Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

A man lives on the tenth floor of a building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator - or if it was raining that day - he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment. Can you explain why?


First one with the correct answer get the 10 points.

2006-07-30 15:20:44 · 19 answers · asked by ? 6

An archeologist finds a coin dated 48 B.C. How did he know it was a fake?

I don't know the answer...not into riddles,but I'm curious to know the answer.Anybody out there knows it?

2006-07-30 15:17:26 · 17 answers · asked by Unknown Darkness™ 7

How can you throw a ball as hard as you can and have it come back to you, even if it doesn't hit anything, there is nothing attached to it, and no one else catches or throws it.

First one to answer it correctly gets the 10 points

2006-07-30 15:17:03 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6

the best joke wins 10 points

2006-07-30 15:16:59 · 12 answers · asked by Mr. Sly 4

The Auckland Zoo had gotten a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.

To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Graham, a big farmer's lad who was responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Graham, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. So the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.

They approached Graham with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?

Graham showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Graham announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:

"Fust," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss er."

"Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thus."

The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

"Wull," said Graham, "You gotta give me another wik to come up with the $500." Bwaaaha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-30 15:11:52 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

I needed to waste some points so I went hunting on the Internet for something to do. I found that these three sentences have one thing in common. Do you know what it is?

10 points to the first person who gets it right.

1. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.
2. Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
3. How quickly daft jumping zebras vex.

2006-07-30 14:57:49 · 19 answers · asked by ? 6

took your husband for ransom?.....

2006-07-30 14:57:46 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=009&item=190012743144&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

2006-07-30 14:55:42 · 25 answers · asked by justrite_mama 1

This is not meant as an offence to religious people. Unless your religion is not Jedi (jk)

2006-07-30 14:54:39 · 3 answers · asked by its just me!! 4

I am reading the following story and I keep getting confused!
The instructions say to read this out loud as fast as possible, but now my brain hurts!
What does it mean?


Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now, See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw

2006-07-30 14:49:08 · 10 answers · asked by ? 6

<>

2006-07-30 14:40:43 · 33 answers · asked by ? 6

Ok so this one is cute i heard it one day in a daycare i was helping in the most adorable little girl said it to me!!

2006-07-30 14:38:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

<>

2006-07-30 14:37:59 · 5 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-07-30 14:36:14 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6

i keep on seeing but don't know what it means. someone plz tell me

2006-07-30 14:33:56 · 50 answers · asked by taquise m 2

Willys cynical thought for the day;

I'm a born n bred New Yorker, here, except fer immigrants, we ain't got freaking accents!

I need to go for a pee in Aussie

"Gonna drain me dragon."
"My back teeth are floating."
"Need to siphon the python."
"Takin' the kids to the pool."
"I got to take a snake’s hiss."
"Gotta go have a slash."
"Gonna go water a horse."
"I'm off to drain the main vein."
"Time to splatter the bladder."
"I'm dying for a piss! So bad I can taste it."
"Shake hands with the wife's best friend."

Vomiting in Aussie

"Calling for George."
"I was driving the porcelain bus this morning."
"I left him a lawn pizza."
"Toss a tiger on the carpet."
"Gotta go Ralph"

I'm Hungry in Aussie

"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a sh*t sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the azs out of a rag doll through a cane chair."
"So hungry I could eat the azs out of a low flying duck."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-30 14:33:39 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 14:30:48 · 21 answers · asked by ? 6

solve these three "riddles"

f f
i i
r r
e e





pawalkrk


sitting
world

2006-07-30 14:25:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Smith. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied,"Why, yes I do, I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,too.He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair

2006-07-30 14:23:44 · 9 answers · asked by joegossum 4

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 10 points

2006-07-30 14:18:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 14:17:26 · 12 answers · asked by ? 6

Does anyone have any great jokes for me?

2006-07-30 14:15:01 · 4 answers · asked by L-Rad 4

The king of the jungle, the lion, decided to have a party. He invited every animal in the jungle, but one didn't come. Which one? get 10 points

2006-07-30 14:13:47 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

what kind of rocks are in the river?
what is the center of gravity?
what kind of water never freezes?
what makes your left hand your right hand?
whats the diff. between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
longest word in english?
what is the moon worth?
a 6 letter word that gives you 12 when u take 1?
runs but dont walk?......a question you can never answer yes to?
starts with T, ends with T and has T in it?
a coat only usable when wet?
what nut has no shell??. ha try that for size!!!!

2006-07-30 13:58:43 · 15 answers · asked by Puddles 3

10 pts for the best and funniest answer

2006-07-30 13:58:39 · 14 answers · asked by Xavier 2

This one is easy.

What ancient invention is used today still, and allows people to see through walls?

2006-07-30 13:35:57 · 9 answers · asked by krackocloud 4

I'm about to move to a new home, so I'm having the usual stress. Who's got jokes/riddles to get my mind off things?

I'll start.

Did you hear that they're making a new soft drink that's laced with Viagra? It's called "Mount and Do". Their motto is "Pour yourself a stiff one."

OK, your turn. Best Answer gets 10 points, plus a hundred billion dollars!*




*restrictions may apply.

2006-07-30 13:30:01 · 7 answers · asked by jvsconsulting 4

what is the biggest buliding in the world?
what is the biggest pencil in the world?
what is a room with no windows or doors?
if you get all 5 star rating!!!

2006-07-30 13:21:58 · 5 answers · asked by Puddles 3

Finsish it off.

2006-07-30 13:07:00 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am.... Want to amuse me?

2006-07-30 12:35:54 · 18 answers · asked by crazygreeniis 3