Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

Don't cheat! Because if you did, the test would be no fun. I promise, there are no tricks to the test.
Read the sentence below and count the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE. Do not go back and count them again.
See solutions for your score.

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

2006-07-30 17:49:55 · 32 answers · asked by steeve 1

*riddle....cheers!

2006-07-30 17:44:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Drown the world in the water if i leave my water Tap open and let the water fill up the Earth ????
will it be EVIL enough to Destroy the world ???

2006-07-30 17:44:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 17:40:15 · 8 answers · asked by shane.hanson@btinternet.com 1

Because Mad Cow was taken.

Women: If you're offended please let me know.

2006-07-30 17:37:05 · 6 answers · asked by Hymn 2

The first day of college me and a new friend got baked and saw a gilr carrying a arm full of books like a bunch of sticks and she fell because both her feet hit the crack in the sidewalk because she couldn't see where she was walking and she fell forward spilling all the books forward like water and hit both her knees- totally wiped out of the first day of school. We cracked up and ran and hid because we were sad for her and embarrased we laughed. But it was so funny.

Or when i was shroomin and a guy and i checked out a band. It was a bunch of old guys. My friend says, "not bad for a bunch of blur hairs" and we both crack up so much we had to leave the place. And we made up that the guys were "rocking to the 50's", "driving all the young girls crazy" and "from Florida". The Blue hair specials from Florida. It was so funny.

2006-07-30 17:35:33 · 5 answers · asked by Hymn 2

2006-07-30 17:26:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 17:09:18 · 7 answers · asked by Cap'n Donna 7

2006-07-30 17:05:11 · 3 answers · asked by Chrissy 7

2006-07-30 17:04:11 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

you have to swim across an alligator infested river to get the confrence....how do get across and live?

2006-07-30 16:57:53 · 12 answers · asked by Cap'n Donna 7

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

2006-07-30 16:53:40 · 12 answers · asked by Ruthie1959 6

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy".

While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card.

"Oh, it's alright." said the storekeeper. "I'm a businessman and I understand how these things can happen."

"But," added the florist, "I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party."

"Well, what did it say?" ask the storekeeper.

"'Congratulations on your new location'." was the reply.

2006-07-30 16:47:44 · 6 answers · asked by Ruthie1959 6

I liv in water, if u cut my 1st letter i'm at ur door ,if u cut last i'm a fruit,if u cut both i'm with u?????????

wuts the answer????

2006-07-30 16:38:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

will you marry me?=i want to make it illegal for you to have sex with any other guy
i like that one better=pick any damned dress(while shopping) and let's go home
i need you=my hand is tired
how do i compare with your other boyfriends?= is my penis really that small?
it is just orange juice= three more shots and she'll have her legs around my head
i want you back=i want you tonight
we've been through so much together= if it weren'tfo you, i never would have lost my virginity
i miss you so much=i am so horny that my roomate is starting to look good
i'm going fishing=i'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety
it would take too longg to explain= i have no idea how it works
it's a guy thing=there is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical
what's wrong?=what meaningless self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

2006-07-30 16:26:58 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:25:52 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:24:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:23:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:22:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

write a bunch of stupid riddles and jokes for me!!!!!

2006-07-30 16:21:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:20:59 · 68 answers · asked by Anonymous

You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. the only things in this room is a mirror and a table. how do you escape?

you look in the mirror to see what you SAW you take the saw and cut the table in to halfs you take the halfs to make a whole and then you crawl threw the whole

is that it?

2006-07-30 16:16:27 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-30 16:08:41 · 12 answers · asked by Pete Allison 6

2006-07-30 16:08:32 · 5 answers · asked by Skylark 4

Two blondes are having conversation and one asks the other:
" who do you think is closer Florida or the Moon? " the other responds: " Duh... can you see Florida"

2006-07-30 15:54:08 · 8 answers · asked by ? 2

What happens every 1 hour, 5 min, 27 seconds, and 27.3ms?

2006-07-30 15:46:50 · 12 answers · asked by Austin S 2

now, what did i sayed and what lanauge did i speak of?

2006-07-30 15:45:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

a guy told his girl to make love just once a day she didnt like it then he told her that once will be amazin and long just as travllin frm boston to NYC she agreed then late at night she wake him up and said heeey i wanna go back to boston

2006-07-30 15:34:43 · 10 answers · asked by lil yemeni girl 1

Going for a McSh*T: Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McSh*t with Lies.

Greyhound: A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Johnny-No-Stars: A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

Monkey Bath: A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!"

Mumbler: An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc., i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with great looking people when you come back in.

Picasso Azs: A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.

Salad Dodger: An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

Swamp-Donkey: A deeply unattractive woman.

Tart Fuel or B*tch Piss: Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

Titanic: A lady who goes down first time out.

Two-Bagger or Double Bagger: Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).

Up on Blocks: Menstruating, i.e., out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-30 15:23:43 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

A table tennis ball fell into a tight deep pipe. The pipe was only a bit wider then the ball, so you can not use your hand. How would you take it out, with no damage?


The first person to get it right gets the 10 points.

2006-07-30 15:23:31 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6