Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

I can't go anywhere with you. You would talk to a door knob.

2006-07-18 02:12:44 · 12 answers · asked by laughsall 4

That means two meanings of the word are totally opposite two each others but still valid. Also name these type of words.

2006-07-18 02:11:50 · 7 answers · asked by Still Waters 1

2006-07-18 02:08:58 · 18 answers · asked by Still Waters 1

sasy as fast as u can:"sally sold seashells by the seachore"

2006-07-18 02:02:14 · 4 answers · asked by Bilal Hares 3

2006-07-18 01:59:37 · 5 answers · asked by miha 1

2006-07-18 01:41:19 · 8 answers · asked by Farad 2

a. keep your hat on

b.stay calm

c. mind your own business

first correct answer gets best answer

2006-07-18 01:27:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-18 01:24:19 · 17 answers · asked by nastyboy 1

A-1
B-2
C-3
D-4
E-5
F-6
G-7
H-8
I-9
J-10
K-11
L-12
M-13
N-14
O-15
P-16
Q-17
R-18
S-19
T-20
U-21
V-22
W-23
X-24
Y-25
Z-26

F + A + R + D ...........FIND URS !!!

2006-07-18 01:18:01 · 16 answers · asked by Farad 2

2006-07-18 01:13:07 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

A person is going by a train.He gets down for pee at some station.After coming back he sees that the train has left,There are two other people on the station-P & Q.P always tells the truth and Q always lies.He knows their nature but doesnt know who lies and who tells the truth.What is the only question that he can ask to know where the train has gone?

2006-07-18 01:12:52 · 6 answers · asked by tejas_fundo 3

2006-07-18 01:12:14 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-18 01:11:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

As an adult, Adolf Hitler avoided alcohol at all costs. Apparently he was concerned that a few drinks might make him a bit aggressive.

2006-07-18 01:10:00 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

R O T D A A P

2006-07-18 01:01:24 · 8 answers · asked by miracles 1

10 points for correct answer.

2006-07-18 00:59:09 · 11 answers · asked by Sasha 2

Willys cynical thought for the day;

As my father used to say; "Look at the trees; they're all different. Same with people no two are the freaking same!"

Three women -- one German, one Japanese and a, blonde, Hillbilly were sitting naked in a suana. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed her forarm and the beeping stopped the others looked at her questingly.

"That was my pager," she said I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The, blonde, Hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the suana and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. the others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The Hillbilly woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that, I'm gettin' A fax."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-18 00:54:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

unscramble the phrase and you get 10 points. unscramble for the joke ''what do you call a person who doesnt fart in publike''.
_unscramble_
" A RIEVTP OTEORT " unscramble and you get your answor
_________________

2006-07-18 00:50:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

and you have a gun with 2 bullets, who do you shoot?

2006-07-18 00:42:37 · 27 answers · asked by nikki 2

2006-07-18 00:29:50 · 26 answers · asked by nikki 2

Chelsea supporter to his mate
Coming to the game, Saturday?
No, the wife wants to go shopping and she'll moan like hell.
You are joking? Listen, she starts, just whip her drawers down and slap her ***. See you at rhe game.
Monday morning they meet up.
Didn't see you on Saturday.
No. Well the wife started up so I did what you said and after four of five slaps I thought, I dunno- Chelsea aren't playing all that well lately...

2006-07-18 00:08:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you expect the unexpected then will the unexpected become expected or will it remain unexpected becouse that is how it was in the beggining?

2006-07-18 00:05:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm having crappy day and would like to laugh.

Thanks.

2006-07-17 23:56:35 · 7 answers · asked by 2007_Shelby_GT500 7

When you get reported on what you feel is unjust? and yahoo deletes your answer or question? I mean why does yahoo listen to all those complaining all the time? what happens to the 5 points you lost asking? someone without a sense of humor can't take a joke and you pay for it, is that fair?

who feels the same way?

2006-07-17 23:44:52 · 12 answers · asked by police 6

2006-07-17 23:42:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

two cows stood in a field. One cow turns to the other and says 'are you worried by all this mad cows disease?' and the other cow replies 'it dont bother me, im a jellyfish!'

2006-07-17 23:40:49 · 9 answers · asked by spens dad! 2

for example. A Rhinosaurus is dyin for a drink. but the only place open is an elephant bar. There are two elephant bouncers on the door that say to him "there's no way we're lettin you in here, everytime your sort come in there's trouble".

The Rhino says that he's only lookin a quiet pint and that he'll stay near the door and mind his own business. so the bouncers say OK "but we'll be watching you"

So he buys a pint and stands quietly in the corner. An elephant girl sidles up to him and says "Hi I'm Sandra" "whats your name?" to which he replies "neil".
At this she goes into hysterics and faints. Two bouncers rush in and throw your man out. They are tryin to bring her round and she says "where did he go". "it's OK love we bucked him out"

"Oh No " says she, "do you know who that was?"
"No say the elephants"

"It was Rhino Neil!"

(try this with an ulster accent and you should get Ryan O'Neill)

2006-07-17 23:32:32 · 4 answers · asked by blackstuffman2000 2

^_^

2006-07-17 23:28:25 · 8 answers · asked by kevin! 5

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the
guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this
guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time
in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter
how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was
whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had
any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

2006-07-17 23:12:16 · 14 answers · asked by Diezel 4

oh oh oh please pick me!

2006-07-17 23:03:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous