Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

who ever can say the word mom in the most languages gets the 10 points!
you have to say the word and it's language, and where your from!

2006-06-22 04:55:09 · 12 answers · asked by lupus 3

Why can't a man living in Newcastle be buriedwest of Trent?

2006-06-22 04:44:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
tossit over her shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde, figuring
this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails
away?"

The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and
it's pointed TOWARD me I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's
pointed toward the HOUSE,
then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely pissed off and yelled, "You MORON!
The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER
side of the house!"

2006-06-22 04:43:52 · 20 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

you release a huge and long held fart (in not more than three words)

2006-06-22 04:40:47 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous

A quick test of intelligence. Don't cheat! Because if you do, the test will be no fun.

There are no Tricks to the test. Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Important, count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again

2006-06-22 04:35:49 · 67 answers · asked by Anonymous

The joke was:

Once a lunatic raped a woman working at the laundry,and escaped. The news paper was afraid to print such news,so they reported:

NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS.

May I know the original author? And which are the next jokes of this series?

2006-06-22 04:29:53 · 7 answers · asked by bharat b 4

ok so you know the jokes like i think your pretty......pretty ugly
and your funny ..... funny looking! yeah well i need to know more of them so if you know any it would be appriciated!!

2006-06-22 04:22:12 · 18 answers · asked by shortie 1

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

2006-06-22 04:20:26 · 3 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

2006-06-22 04:15:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two blondes were waiting for their buses. One of them was waiting for the bus number one and the other one for the bus number seven. In the meantime, the bus number seventeen came. One of them exclaimed: "Oh, great! Now we can go together!"

2006-06-22 04:15:05 · 12 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

2006-06-22 03:55:07 · 7 answers · asked by legalboozer2003 2

Can I get there by candlelight?

2006-06-22 03:54:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,"What's the matter?" To which she replies..."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl,"Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest."The blonde very calmly states..."No..I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual..."If you need anything just let me know." Well...a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!! He rushes out to her asking,"What's so bad now... are you gonna be okay?? "No..." exclaims the blonde,"I just received a call from my sister and she said that her mother died too!!"

2006-06-22 03:50:51 · 25 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

There was a man outside mowing his lawn. He lived next store to a blonde who had just gotten a computer. She went out to her mailbox to check the mail and went back in after she had done that 10 times the guy asked her why she kept coming back out side and she said my computer keeps telling me I have mail.

2006-06-22 03:48:24 · 14 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

There is a blonde who goes into a store and says "excuse me sir,can i buy that television?"The guy says "no,i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home colours her hair red and goes back to the store. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says,"i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home,colours her hair pitch black and goes back. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says," No I don't sell anything to blondes." She says,"how do u know i'm a blonde?" He says, "only a blonde would think a microwave is a T.V"

2006-06-22 03:47:19 · 12 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes."

2006-06-22 03:44:41 · 11 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

A hunter met two shepherds, one of them had three pieces of bread and the other, five pieces. All the pieces of bread were the same size. The three men agreed to share the eight pieces equally between them. After they had eaten, the hunter gave the shepherds eight bronze coins as payment for his meal. How should the two shepherds fairly divide this money?

2006-06-22 03:21:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-22 03:13:30 · 14 answers · asked by knight_357us 1

You put your bra on backwards,, and it fits better

you wake up to discover your waterbed has a leak in it,, then you realize you don't own a waterbed!

you've overslept, and rush to get ready and catch the bus to work. Half way there you realize it's your day off.

2006-06-22 03:01:20 · 22 answers · asked by tee_nong_noy 3

Are honey bee wary of jam?

2006-06-22 02:59:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

sir, i bear a rhyme excelling
in mystic force and magic spelling
celestrial sprites elucidate
all my own striving can relate

what does this me
it really creeps me out

2006-06-22 02:58:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Did the father of Cole Porter teach the King Soloman of the Zulus how to divide by six?

2006-06-22 02:55:49 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

2006-06-22 02:55:49 · 17 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

http://i6.tinypic.com/157owtw.jpg

2006-06-22 02:55:37 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.

"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said.

"Try playing a game of fetch with him."

"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said. "Why not?" the doctor asked.

"Because," she replied, "He can't throw."

2006-06-22 02:53:30 · 9 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Did Patricia Arquette's father invent thhe tea bag?

2006-06-22 02:52:03 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who are the Salt People? And do you know how to destroy salt people?

2006-06-22 02:47:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-22 02:45:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

1.take 2 apples from 3 apples and what do u have?
2.what is the smallest # of birds that could fly in this fomation: 2 birds in frount of a bird 2 birds behind a bird and a bird in between 2 birds
3.if ur bedroom was pitch dark and u needed a pair of matching socks how many socks would u have 2 take out of the drawer if there r 10 white socks and 10 blue socks
4.how much dirt may be removed from a hole that is 3feet deep, 2 feet wide, and 10 feet long

2006-06-22 02:38:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-22 02:31:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous