Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
tossit over her shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde, figuring
this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails
away?"
The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and
it's pointed TOWARD me I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's
pointed toward the HOUSE,
then I nail it in!"
The second blonde got completely pissed off and yelled, "You MORON!
The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER
side of the house!"
2006-06-22 04:43:52 · 20 answers · asked by simply_boring 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
that was ok... I hope you like these:
A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
That night the blonde dreams she wins the lotto. Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. The next day she prays...
"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good Servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the voice of God Himself...
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this..... Buy a ticket."
____________________________________________________
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?
"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?
"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!
"The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HelOOOooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
2006-06-22 06:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Chino 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
nice joke, here are some more
how do you know that a blonde has just used the compter?
theres white-out on the screen
why do blondes put ice in the tv?
to freeze the image
what do 20 blondes together ear-by-ear do?
an air tunnel
2006-06-22 04:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by AFTP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about the 2 other sides of the house?
2006-06-22 04:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two blondes were waiting for their buses. One of them was waiting for the bus number one and the other one for the bus number seven. In the meantime, the bus number seventeen came. One of them exclaimed: "Oh, great! Now we can go together!"
2006-06-22 04:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by nate7998 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two Blonds walk into a building, you'd think one of them would have seen it.
2006-06-22 04:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol! The Great Blonde kiddnap was tight
2016-05-20 11:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! The blond jokes never cease! I guess that means I shall never cease LAUGHING!
2006-06-22 04:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha! Pure classic ;D
2006-06-22 04:47:13 · answer #8 · answered by ask'n'awnser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard this as a POLISH joke. (many moons ago)
2006-06-22 04:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-06-22 06:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋