ok so you know the jokes like i think your pretty......pretty ugly
and your funny ..... funny looking! yeah well i need to know more of them so if you know any it would be appriciated!!
2006-06-22 04:22:12 · 18 answers · asked by shortie 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
why are women weird?
God put the **** house next to the snack bar.
2006-06-22 04:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by williejuly1 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
your teeth are like stars
they come out at night
what about the man who put windolene in his drink
woke up with a whopping head ache but a lovely shine in his eyes
what about van gogh when he was asked if he wanted another pint, he said no thanks ive got one ere
want to lose 2 stone of ugly fat
cut your head off
Tony Blaire will still be PM at the next election
ive got a job
2006-06-25 17:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by itsa o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had a face like yours I'd walk on my hands and teach my bum to sing!
And to think, out of 50 million sperm - you were the quickest.
You have the charm of a yeast infection.
Were you born annoying or did you take a special class?
2006-06-22 12:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by The Wandering Blade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 old men make this bet to see who can think back the farthest the 1st old man says he remembers when he was 5 and went to his first MLB game 2nd old man says he remembers when he was 3 and got his first ice-cream cone and the 3rd old man says he remembers when he went to the prom with his daddy and left with his mommy! LOL
there is a black kid,white kid,and a Italian kid they play this game out on recess to see who has the biggest penis the white kid pulls his out first his is small the Italian kid pulls his out his is a little bigger and then the black kid pulls his out and his is by far the biggest one of all! so when the black kid goes home that day his mom asks him what he did at school and he said he took a math test, read, and played this game on recess to see who had the biggest penis and he asked his mom is it because im black and she said no honey its because you 23! LOL
2006-06-22 11:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mad Wife Disease
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked
up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."
Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked
up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked
him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the heck was that for?"
She replied, "Your horse called."
2006-06-22 12:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by destini'smom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Two blondes (let's call them Jessicca and paris) were tanning on a barn roof. (they were supposed to paint it, but couldn't get enough nail polish bottles of the same color) anyways, while they were up there, another blonde came and took their ladder. When they had had enough sun, and went to get down, they discovered that their ladder was gone, and there was no one around for miles to hear them scream. After much thought, Paris suggests to Jessicca, "well, we're really high up, and we're going to have to jump, so I say we jump in that manure pile down there; at least it will break our fall." Neither girl really wants to do this, but since there doesn't seem to be any other option, they agree. Jessicca decides she'll go first to see how deep it is since Paris came up with the idea. So she jumps...Paris hollars down; "how deep is it?" to which Jessicca replies, "not bad; it's only ankle deep!" So Paris jumps..and lands up to her neck in the manure pile. "I thought you said it was only ankle deep?!" she screams at Jessicca. "It was!" Says jessicca. "I landed head first!"
*BLONDES: please do not try the above joke at home; it is meant for entertainment purposes only!!
**No blondes were harmed during the making of this joke; all names are ficticious, and are not intended to represent any real person in any way.**
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"what is this, fish, or chicken?"
2006-06-22 14:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by winkandasmile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the face of a saint...a St. Bernard
You are special...(needs)
2006-06-22 11:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Delgado 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!
*Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!!
*Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."
*Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet!
Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
*Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!
*Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
*Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
*Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.
2006-06-22 11:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo momma's so poor she got married...for the rice!
Yo momma's so hairy, you were born with rug burn on your face.
Yo momma's so fat when her pager goes off people think she's backing up.
2006-06-22 11:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by smarteepants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a computer beat me up at chess..but it was no match for me at kick boxing!
2006-06-22 11:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your like a flower, a cauliflower.
2006-06-28 14:26:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋