Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

>Subject: The Monk
>Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 08:50:29 -0700
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>A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.
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>He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke
>down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
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>The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.
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>As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound not
>Like anything he's ever heard before.
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>The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to
>his mind.
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>He doesn't sleep that night.
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>He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making
>such A seductive sound.
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>The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say,
>"We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
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>Distraught, the man is forced to leave.
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>Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes
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>back To the monastery and pleads for the answer again.
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>The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
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>The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that
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>beautiful sound is to Become a monk, then please, make me a monk."
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>The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades
>of grass there are And the exact number of grains of sand When you find
>these answers, you will have become a monk."
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>The man sets about his task.
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>After years of searching he returns and knocks on the door of the
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>monastery. "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked
>for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God
>knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he
>is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."
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>The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show
>you the way to the mystery of the sound."
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>The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The
>sound is beyond that door."
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>The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
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>Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
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>The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to
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>find a door made of ruby.
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>And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, gold and
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>diamond.
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>Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."
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>The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind the door!
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>He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is utterly
>Amazed to find the source of that haunting and seductive sound......
>
>
>..But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

2006-06-21 19:58:17 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-21 19:55:12 · 11 answers · asked by abhishek 1

i grow hair on my head??? Shall i borrow it from someone???

2006-06-21 19:39:48 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Previously, we had this following riddle:

What did the doctor say when a guy came in to complain about his shrinking problem?
A:You just have to be a little patient!

Hehe! Ok. Time for today's riddle:

Why was the archaeologist so sad?

ok. Good luck! :)

2006-06-21 19:38:03 · 14 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

I stick my finger in those two little holes in the wall. Will I get a super duper hairstyle or what???

Note: I am only SIX months old!

2006-06-21 19:18:23 · 19 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

Hear through walls...does that mean I have super baby hearing.

Note: I am only SIX months old

2006-06-21 19:01:04 · 17 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

2006-06-21 19:00:20 · 15 answers · asked by Bond 000 3

A wealthy couple had planned to go out
for the evening. The woman of the house
decided to give their butler, Jeeves,
the rest of the night off.

She said they would be home very late,
and that he should just enjoy his
evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife
wasn't having a good time at the party,
so she came home early, alone. Her
husband had to stay there, as several of
his important clients were there. As
the woman walked into her house, she
saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the
dining room. She called for him to
follow her, and led him into the master
bedroom. She then closed and locked the
door.

She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves,"
she said. "Take off my dress."

He did this carefully. "Jeeves," she
continued. "Take off my stockings and
garter." He silently obeyed her.

"Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my
bra and panties."

As he did this, the tension continued to
mount. She looked at him and then said,
"Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my
clothes again, you're fired!"

2006-06-21 18:43:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Doctor: I have some bad news
Patient: What is it doc?
Doctor: You have cancer and alzheimers
Patient: Well atleast I don't have cancer

hehe check ya later &hearts

2006-06-21 18:34:03 · 15 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

I'm a riddle in nine syllables
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers.
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.
Money's new-minted in this fat purse.
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I've eaten a bag of green apples,
Borded the train there's no getting off.

2006-06-21 18:07:42 · 10 answers · asked by whiteblaq 3

Best Answer wins 10 points :)

2006-06-21 18:03:09 · 20 answers · asked by Ginny C & Hobie D 2

IF YOU SPELL THESE TWO WORDS BACKWARDS WHAT WORDS DO YOU GET?

RACE CAR

STRESSED
IT MAY BE STUPID BUT I THINK THERE CUTE

2006-06-21 17:24:23 · 10 answers · asked by kim_in_craig 7

Hi guys.. need help with this riddle.. yikes!?

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful-
The eye of a little go, four-cornered.
Most of the time i mediate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I tink it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me and old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

2006-06-21 17:17:17 · 13 answers · asked by whiteblaq 3

Hi guys..

Need a little help with this riddle below! Any ideas?


My tensions and pressures
Are precise if transitory.
Iridescent, I can float
And catch small rainbows.
Beauties luxuriate on me.
I can inhabit ovens
Or sparkle in bottles.
I am filled with that
Which surrounds me.

2006-06-21 16:55:22 · 22 answers · asked by whiteblaq 3

i really want 2 here some

2006-06-21 16:55:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-21 16:46:29 · 14 answers · asked by medic/e.m.t.24816 2

One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry's house to play cards with some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed.

He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said yes I did."

She said, Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $500." So Mike thought about this financial situation and said O.K. She said come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then. Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her, then he left.

Later, Terry came home and asked, "Has Mike been over here today?"

She said, thinking she had been caught, "As a matter of fact, he did."

Terry said, "Good because that fool came by my job this morning and asked to borrow $500 till this evening, and he said he would leave it with you.

"NOW THAT'S A TRUE PLAYA!!!"

Here's the link to my site, now I definitely have music, and me singing "That's Just the Way That I Am," an original, there and pics too. Don't just stop at the front page scroll down and check it all out! Keep checking back it just been updated... I made a new page, "Me and Evilbay (A work in progress)." There are pages "How to Know If you're a New Yorker," by me and "Willys Jokes." A little humor on the serious side! Sign the guestbook too y'all!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-06-21 16:44:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-21 16:32:30 · 12 answers · asked by monkyodoom 2

2006-06-21 16:28:52 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

they better be good

2006-06-21 15:58:11 · 16 answers · asked by KHB 3

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some private moment. Jack laid down and Jill sat down. And they just pumped each other. Tra la la ...

what do you think about that??? isnt that just wrong?

2006-06-21 15:33:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey, guy's out there who really knows how to joke-- please tell me one's you know. But please don't tell jokes that are innapropriate or if it is frrom ahajokes.com... I've read them all and still unsatisfied...

2006-06-21 15:26:53 · 20 answers · asked by Michelle 3

Because I sure do!!!

2006-06-21 15:25:08 · 5 answers · asked by jgd93@verizon.net 1

Ok, it's simple. There's a comedy playing in a theater. The first scene begin with a young children with an ice cream cone on the head...
It's to you to continue this comedy!

2006-06-21 15:22:42 · 4 answers · asked by hellsleder 2

some one gimme some jokes any kind

2006-06-21 15:18:22 · 9 answers · asked by laker_lalaland_81 1

2006-06-21 15:11:28 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-21 15:00:48 · 21 answers · asked by cup cake 2

Ok, in order to stick it to the man, so to speak, I have several meetings with management coming up and am looking for creative ways to stretch out what would normally be a 20 minute meeting into a 2 hour meeting. I'm looking for ideas that would frustrate a manager, but yet not be offensive.

2006-06-21 14:59:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

they are, by far, the epitome of dark humor, & i like 'em. so what dead baby jokes do you know? & what other dark humor jokes do you know?

2006-06-21 14:57:08 · 14 answers · asked by Spliffwizard 2

2006-06-21 14:45:31 · 20 answers · asked by cup cake 2