they are, by far, the epitome of dark humor, & i like 'em. so what dead baby jokes do you know? & what other dark humor jokes do you know?
2006-06-21 14:57:08 · 14 answers · asked by Spliffwizard 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
What do you call a dead baby with its skin peeled off?
Sexy.
What's the worst thing about ******* a dead baby?
Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
How do you spoil a baby?
Leave it out in the sun.
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't **** a table.
What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.
If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious?
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
What's blue and sits in the corner?
A baby in a baggie.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun
What's sicker than driving over a baby?
Skidding.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's the best sound in the world?
Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
Sticking pins in their eyes.
What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.
What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.
What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan.
2006-06-22 17:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by Tom Fry 2 · 10⤊ 6⤋
Dead-baby-joke.com
2016-11-14 01:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
F*cked.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
2006-06-21 15:12:53 · answer #3 · answered by ♥-=-TLCNJ19-=-♥ 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up the baby.
What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
Dart-boards don't bleed.
What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
About 500 calories.
Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
The family used it to crack nuts.
Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
So you can see the expression on their faces.
Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
So that if its born dead they can make soup.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
How many babies fit in a blender?
Depends on how powerful the blender is.
How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
How do you save a drowning baby?
Harpoon it.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.
How do you turn a baby into a cat?
Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off its head.
What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
Blood brothers.
2006-06-21 15:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by brittanyprovidence 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
Whats worse than 16 dead babyies tied to a tree? 1 dead babby tied to 16 trees.
2006-06-21 15:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by mjboyle508 1 · 4⤊ 2⤋
whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari?
i don't have a ferrari in my garage.
what's the difference between a dead baby and a dead fish?
you don't need to chop a dead fish up before you flush it down the toilet.
what's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of dead babies?
you can't unload a truckload of sand with a pitchfork.
2006-06-21 15:40:46 · answer #6 · answered by 'Blank' 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Uh oh. Now you've really gotten out the heavy trolling gear!
2006-06-22 08:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by Alice Chaos 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Look in the mirror and you will be looking at the joke.
2006-06-21 15:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 4⤊ 5⤋
What grosser than a truckful of dead babies? A truckful of dead babies with a live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? He has to eat his way out.
What's grosser than that? He does.
What's grosser than that? He goes back for seconds.
2006-06-22 10:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by kjgartman 3 · 3⤊ 8⤋
www.dead-baby-jokes.com
2006-06-21 15:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by themacncheesepunk 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋