Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-25 13:11:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-25 13:03:06 · 12 answers · asked by HERNANDO THE TRAIN BANDIT 2

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-25 12:42:04 · 10 answers · asked by Kirby and the Sqeaks 1

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."

2006-06-25 12:39:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

A magicians wand and a policemans truncheon?
One's for cunning stunts and the other's for stunning c****

2006-06-25 12:20:54 · 18 answers · asked by bill M 1

2006-06-25 11:42:34 · 16 answers · asked by mdboomskwad.mc4u 4

you, get, I am, no, ring "

winner get 10 points.

2006-06-25 11:37:20 · 13 answers · asked by prince charming 3

my brother went to school for a week to live there and be tortured should i ask my friends running it to torture him more?

2006-06-25 11:36:57 · 12 answers · asked by azrael226 3

Smells like carrots. :-D

2006-06-25 11:33:51 · 25 answers · asked by elliebear 7

2006-06-25 11:29:09 · 32 answers · asked by Michael S 1

2006-06-25 11:17:35 · 16 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-06-25 11:15:45 · 47 answers · asked by Tori 2

A Nun And Two Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requested shelter there.

Fortunately, she was just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.

After dinner, she strolled into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

They welcomed her with, "Hello, I am brother Michael and this is Brother
Charles."

"I am very pleased to meet you both," replied the nun, "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, thank you sister. I am the fish friar."

She turned to Brother Michael and said, "then you must be....?"

"Yes, sister," interrupted Brother Michael you are correct. I am the chip monk."

2006-06-25 11:12:28 · 17 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

10 points to the person who tells me where i got this from!!
(bored)

2006-06-25 10:56:58 · 11 answers · asked by zim 2

2006-06-25 10:42:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-25 10:40:58 · 31 answers · asked by liquidsmoke72 2

St. Peter says that before they can come into heaven they must each answer one simple question.
St P: (To the 1st man) You've been married for twenty years, in all those years have you ever been unfaithful to you wife.
.1st Man: Yes I have 10 times.
St P: Thank you for being honest. Go to that shed over there and you'll find sometransport to get around heaven.
He goes to a shed and finds a decent push bike and off he cycles
2nd chappie is asked the same question.
2nd man: yes I have 5 times .
St. P: Go over to that shed and you'll fid some transport to get around heaven.
So the man finds a moped and off he rides.
The 3rd man is asked the same question.
3rd man: (looking smug) Never, I've never been unfaithful to my wife.
St. P: Go to that shed and find some transport to get around heaven.
So the man finds a ferrari and drives off.
Half an hour later the blokes with the bike sees the man with the ferrari and asks whats wrong?
Man 3: I've just seen my wife go past on a skateboa

2006-06-25 10:37:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-25 10:34:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

breasts w/out nipples, would be pointless!

2006-06-25 10:32:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

of your house and running around your yardmaing monkey noises.

2006-06-25 10:07:36 · 11 answers · asked by MEGAN THE PLAYFUL SPIRIT 3

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."

"I'm sorry, I still didn't undersftand you."

The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."

2006-06-25 10:03:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

When he arrives St. Peter notices that The President seems lost or confused.
'Can I help?' asks the helpful saint 'You seem to be lost.'
'I'm not lost' replies the president, 'I would love to have a chat with Moses, but I can't seem to find him.'
'If you like,' say's the really cool but not boring ST P. 'I'll go look for him for you.'
So of the happy sainty goes zooming around heaven.
After awhile he spies Moses hiding behind some clouds.
'Moses,' say's pete, 'There's a Mr Bush that would like to have a word with you.'
Moses looked scared and said, 'Tell him whatever it is I'm not interested. The last time I spoke to him I was wondering around in the desert for forty years.'

2006-06-25 09:56:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

ihink it does if you think it doesnt please explain.

2006-06-25 09:51:34 · 16 answers · asked by MEGAN THE PLAYFUL SPIRIT 3

2006-06-25 09:44:13 · 8 answers · asked by wasuplat 2

i will answer the joke in 24hours
so come back in 24hours

2006-06-25 09:41:51 · 29 answers · asked by little_indianboy 1

Ok, this is for NASCAR fans. Do you know why Jeff Gordon is so good at Sonoma and Watkins Glen?

Because in both states, those tracks are located in what is known as the WHINE region!

Got a better one? Share it and I'll give 10 points to the one I judge as best.

2006-06-25 09:27:25 · 5 answers · asked by But why is the rum always gone? 6

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

2006-06-25 09:18:54 · 20 answers · asked by wasuplat 2

2006-06-25 09:18:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

they were rushed to the hospital, where the boy was taken into surgery, the surgeon said, "I can not operate on this boy, he is my son."
Who was the surgeon???

----------Jokes and Riddles-----------

2006-06-25 09:09:41 · 11 answers · asked by 4mom 4

2006-06-25 09:07:50 · 21 answers · asked by wasuplat 2