Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief of the tribe,
"Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names like Bill, Sam etc? Father replied, "Look,
son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive."For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake,
because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. "Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the
world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people.""It's very simple and easy to understand.
Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

2006-06-24 21:46:25 · 7 answers · asked by Pd 6

Just thought I would share...

Military Intelligence
Business Ethics
Recent History
Pretty Ugly
Jumbo Shrimp
Freezer Burn
Constant Change
Bitter Sweet
Soft Rock
Concrete Pad
Original Copy
Random Order
Tough Love
Thunderous Silence
Neutral Charge
New Antiques
Congressional Action
Old News
Strong Decaf
Cold Sweat
Small Crowd
Awfully Good
Short Distance
Safety Hazard
Clearly Confusing
Slow Speed
Rap Music
Silent Scream
Honest Politician
Creative Destruction
Postal Service
City Worker
Totally Partial
Sanitary Sewer
Sweet Sorrow
Rolling Stop
Green Consumerism
Genuine Imitation
Mournful Optimist
Deafening Silence
Almost Exactly
Approximately Equal
Real Fantasy
Farewell Reception
Mute Sound
Good Job
Plastic Glass
Alone Together
Civil War
Peace Keeper Missile
Maxi Thins
Well planned coincidence


check ya later ♥

2006-06-24 21:20:24 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

One dark day in the middle of the night 2 dead boys come out to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other the deaf policeman heard the the noise and come out and shot the 2 dead boys if you dont believe my story ask the blind man CAUSE HE SAW IT ALL

2006-06-24 21:08:02 · 11 answers · asked by CYNDIITA 3

Starting from the last answerer.. ill count backwards to choose the best answer.

2006-06-24 20:54:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"

"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

2006-06-24 20:49:35 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

Two women are walking through a zoo... They come across the gorilla and notice that the male guerrilla has a massive erection. The women are fascinated by this. One of the women just can't bear it any longer and she reaches into the cage to touch it. The guerrilla grabs her, drags her into the cage and scre*s her for 2hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.... When he's done, the gorilla throws the woman out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the woman is taken away to the hospital. A few days later, her friend visits her in the hospital and asks,
- Are you hurt?
- AM I HURT? She shouts, Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called... He hasn't written...Not even an sms!

2006-06-24 20:47:24 · 16 answers · asked by Pd 6

2006-06-24 20:30:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man was talking to his friend at the bar.
The friend said "Did you know that 9 out of 10
women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?"

"No, I didn't know that." The man replied.
"So what color are your wife's eyes?" asked
the friend. The man replied, "I'm too drunk to
remember. Geez, I better go home and find out."

So the man hurries home to find his wife in
bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife's
eyelid and exclaims, "Oh my God! Brown!"

Suddenly, another man pops out from under the
covers and exclaims, "How the hell did you know I
was here?"

2006-06-24 20:19:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

neva say you love me if you dont really care neva talk about feelings if they arnt really there n neva hold my hand if ya ganna break my heart neva look into my eyes if all you say is lies n neva say hi if what you really mean is goodbye neva say 4eva because at least you could try n neva say 4eva coz 4eva makes me cry

2006-06-24 20:13:54 · 10 answers · asked by sxc biatch 2

if a woodchuck could cut wood?

2006-06-24 20:09:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

It goes in dry it comes out wet
the more its in the more stronger it gets
we all have it on our bed
?

2006-06-24 20:08:48 · 21 answers · asked by snake 3

2006-06-24 20:06:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is the simplist yet hardest question.

2006-06-24 19:55:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

become a cheerio if i eat to many...my mommy told me that and i'm scared HELp Me!!!!!

Note: I am only SIX months old

you're all invited to join I Love Jokes

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ilovejokes/

2006-06-24 19:44:18 · 8 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

I like finding goofy websites like silly videos funny items for sales and such to share with my friends. It can be pg-13 or maybe a soft-"R" rating, but nothing pornographic please.

10 points for the best answer!
Here's a funny video I enjoyed that I'd like to share with you, it's so goofy:
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2715191

2006-06-24 19:40:24 · 9 answers · asked by Lisa N 5

A surgeon went to check on his very famous patient after an operation. She was awake , so he examined her. " You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "Howlong will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"
The Surgeon seemed to pause which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be alright won't I ?"
He replied, 'Yes , you'll be fine Miss Lewinsky. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

2006-06-24 19:32:12 · 9 answers · asked by Pd 6

Last time, we saw this riddle:

Why didn't the teddy bear want any desserts?
A: Because the teddy bear was stuffed!

Lol! Ok... ok... its time for today's riddle:

Why did the judge send the painting to prison?

Hehe... good luck! :)

2006-06-24 19:32:12 · 10 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Fishermen love it.
Doctors hate it.
Kids wanna eat it.
Its a 13 lettered word.
What is it??

2006-06-24 19:26:43 · 9 answers · asked by mithu 4

whats your funniest joke you know

2006-06-24 19:22:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-24 19:20:07 · 10 answers · asked by ? 6

riddle

2006-06-24 19:13:09 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need some one-liners.

some GOOD one-liners that are actually FUNNY

2006-06-24 19:12:38 · 3 answers · asked by Jeff G 1

lengend say i can control the ocaen. i am above every one who meets me. you look at me all the time. yes i know i.m beautiful. you see me all the time. who or what am i.

2006-06-24 19:05:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

riddle*

2006-06-24 18:57:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a friend who will be turning 32 soon, he gave me some terribly embarassing gifts for my birthday AT WORK IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I want some inexpensive (like under 35-40 dollars) gag gift ideas, and where can I buy them? I was thinking something like "Obese naked women novelty playing cards" but I can't find any online. Any ideas? I will give points for the best answer! Thanks everyone!

2006-06-24 18:56:05 · 5 answers · asked by Lisa N 5

2006-06-24 18:49:18 · 5 answers · asked by Mortimer Pratchett 1

Driving across the desert a man sees a sign "Last Chance bar, next stop 100miles" So he stops for a drink. Behind the bar there's a sign that says "make my mule laugh and win $100" So he asks, where's the mule? And the bartender points to the corral, The man goes to the mule and whispers something in his ear, and the mule starts laughing. Bartender gives him the $100 and changes the sign, "Make my mule cry, and win $100," The customer gets up, goes back to the mule and in a couple seconds the mule starts crying. Bartender pays him and asks how did you get him to laugh and cry so quickly? The man said, "well I made him laugh when I told him my dick was bigger than his, and I made him cry when I showed him it really was.

2006-06-24 18:44:47 · 2 answers · asked by tee_nong_noy 3

I have a four slice toaster, and if i only put two slices in, the toast pops right out, ( spring tension ) falls onto the floor if i don't catch it.
If i put a timer on the toaster , i can use it for an automatic cat feeder ?

2006-06-24 18:42:01 · 9 answers · asked by Featherman 5

2006-06-24 18:37:24 · 10 answers · asked by ? 6

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.
This is a major breakthrough.
Women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

2006-06-24 18:36:26 · 6 answers · asked by Pd 6