Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

Two carpenters in a workshop, one of them yells "S H I T! I've got a splinter!" His workmate replies "Put some cider on it, that'll sort it", confused the injured man says "Whys that then???".
"Well!" begins his mate "My wife always says whenever she gets a prick in her hand she has to put it INSIDE HER!"

2006-06-24 09:18:51 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

it's kind of stupid but it makes you laugh when you are in the dumps: do your breast hang low do they flobble to a flow do you tie em in a knot do you tie em in a bow do you throw em over your shoulder like a continential soilder la la la, do your breast hang low...lmao

2006-06-24 08:59:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

How large does my "English Ivy" have to be before it becomes sentient?
I am getting a little worried.

2006-06-24 08:57:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

rather have a big ole good one, good ole big one?

2006-06-24 08:13:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-24 08:08:40 · 11 answers · asked by Mummy of 2 7

2006-06-24 07:58:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am just looking for some clean fun jokes - I so a great deal of online work and want some laughs to take away the stress of work and school
10 points to the best laugh that I can get..........

2006-06-24 07:43:18 · 13 answers · asked by MS L 3

and he gets beaten up by a bunch of tictacs, just then an extra strong mint walks in chases off the tictacs and asks the soft mint if he's ok. "Don't worry mate" says the extra strong mint to the soft mint, "I'll look after you". Just then a bunch of halls soothers walk in and the extra strong mint promptly legs it and hides under a table.
The poor old soft mint gets another beating, dazed and cofused he askes the extra strong mint why he didn't help. "Are you mad" replies the extra strong mint. "Those guys are MENTHOL"

2006-06-24 07:38:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

my guess... it's not to keep them warm!

2006-06-24 07:08:37 · 19 answers · asked by destineypyle 4

A nice bunch of naughty jokes sent in by MM:

• Judge: So, when did you realise that you were raped?
Prostitute: When the cheque bounced!

• What’s fashion designing?
Too many brains, with too many ideas working on too little pieces of cloth… just to cover two little **** of a model.

• A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed!

• BAR & BRA… wonder what it’s about these three letters that both induce sudden desire & thirst, anytime you see them open…

• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don’t know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

• Q: What’s the difference between gud & bad gals?
A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

• Why did English teacher slap johniee?
Because johniee asked her: Y is Bra is singular when it covers 2 & Panties plural when it covers only one?

2006-06-24 07:05:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

we seem to be the only one feeding it anyway and it using our yard as a litter box!

2006-06-24 07:03:21 · 7 answers · asked by destineypyle 4

2006-06-24 07:02:05 · 13 answers · asked by Dreamcast2001 1

hebie fully loaded fully loaded with ****

2006-06-24 06:50:34 · 38 answers · asked by Brian 4

2006-06-24 06:48:02 · 13 answers · asked by destineypyle 4

The funniest gets 10 easy points

2006-06-24 06:45:37 · 18 answers · asked by JaMaHo 2

you see those construction signs MEN AT WORK whats the deal? Women work all the time!

2006-06-24 06:40:19 · 5 answers · asked by destineypyle 4

Love u all!!!

2006-06-24 06:32:15 · 22 answers · asked by F.B.I. 4

slams his fists on the bar and demands a pint. The bar man just looks at him, shakes his head and quietly asks him to leave. Another customer comes up to the bar a bit confused and says "Why didnt you serve that piece of tarmac?"
"Are you joking?" asks the barman, "He's a cyclepath!"

2006-06-24 06:12:00 · 9 answers · asked by Delgado 3

In my own little world the sky is always a lovely pinky colour, with the occasional hint of blue. :)

2006-06-24 05:50:30 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous

After a few minutes it`s obvious they hate each other. The pilot says, "i hate the chinese." "Why?" says the chinaman. "You lot bombed Pearl harbour!" he says. " no we didn`t, that was the japanese." says the chinaman. "vietnamese, chinese, japanese. It`s all the same to me." says the jewish pilot. After a few minutes the chinaman pipes up and says, "i hate the jews as you lot sank the Titanic." "No we didn`t, that was an iceburg." says the annoyed jew. The chinaman says, "iceburg, golgberg, greenburg, it` all the same to me." :)

2006-06-24 05:48:10 · 7 answers · asked by maxmoves 2

At which battle did Nelson die? His last one silly....

2006-06-24 05:41:39 · 7 answers · asked by l 2

Please read this list of words or letters out loud:
I
M
Sofa
King
Wee
Tod
Did

2006-06-24 04:55:10 · 29 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-06-24 04:37:39 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-24 04:34:37 · 3 answers · asked by debhead830 2

I just don't want to be stepping on anyones toes when I open my practice.

2006-06-24 04:25:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

i need some plz!!!!

2006-06-24 04:24:40 · 14 answers · asked by beach babe 1

find the largest diamond in the world???

2006-06-24 04:22:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Those penis enlargement pills I bought, online, work! Everybody says, I'm a bigger freaking prick than ever before!!!!!!!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-06-24 03:28:52 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

You are in the middle of the desert. The nearest town is too far to reach by walking in a single day. How do you get to the town in a single day?

2006-06-24 03:28:02 · 28 answers · asked by Bedam 2

2006-06-24 03:24:33 · 11 answers · asked by brian_the_lion2000 3