Here's a NASCAR joke. Got a better one?

Question

Ok, this is for NASCAR fans. Do you know why Jeff Gordon is so good at Sonoma and Watkins Glen?

Because in both states, those tracks are located in what is known as the WHINE region!

Got a better one? Share it and I'll give 10 points to the one I judge as best.

Answer 1

Here you go...hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Peace :-)

Gordon is out taking a stroll in the snow. He slips off an icy bridge, hits his head, and falls into an icy cold river. Three kids see it happen. They jump in and save him. When he comes to, he says, "Boys, you saved a Three Time Winston Cup Champion. You each deserve a reward. You name it, and You Got It!" The first kid says, "I'd like to go to Disneyland." The Rainbow Warrior says, "I'll send you and your whole family for a week at Disneyland." The second boy says, "I'd like a 4 wheeler so I can Go out mudbogging out behind my house" Gordon says, "I'll get you the best Four Wheeler With all the safety Features and I'll have someone teach you how to drive it safely." The third kid says, "I'd like an electric twin-turbo wheelchair with a HiFi stereo and Cruise Control." #24 says, "I'll get you the Best ... Wait a second, you're not handicapped, You don't need a Wheelchair." The kid says, "I will be when my father finds out who I saved from drowning."

;-)

Answer 2

A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him and said "Hey little boy, what are you doing?" The little boy replied "I'm running away from home." The cop asked him "Why are you doing that?" The little boy replied "Because my dad beats me." The cops says "Oh, well get in the car and I will take you to your mother's." And the little boy says "No, no! She beats me too!" The cop says "Do you have an uncle?" "Yes but he beats me too", replied the little boy. And the cop says "Get in the car and I'll take you to your grandmother's then." The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandmother beats me also." The cop says "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can take you where nobody will beat you?" And the little boys says "Take me to live with Jeff Gordon because he can't beat anybody."

Answer 3

The phone call...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"

And his lovely wife replies, "I don't any idea who it was.
It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

The Tearful Bride...

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding."

"No, mother," you don't understand.
"I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about
the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom.
"Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane
ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on
the package and it said -
'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she
decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree,
and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow
morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree
next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A
Blonde."

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home
to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and
sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The
Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that
said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
tossit over her shoulder or nail it in. The other blonde, figuring
this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails
away?"

The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and
it's pointed TOWARD me I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's
pointed toward the HOUSE,
then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely pissed off and yelled, "You MORON!
The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER
side of the house!"

The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat

How do you make a blonde go crazy?

Place them in a round room, and tell them to stand in the corner!

A young man finally won a date with the blonde female that lived in
his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man
went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan
himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and
managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade". But, the young
man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his
manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at
his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner,
after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During
the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool
glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and
experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however,
wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him
with his johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the
blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"

Answer 4

A bigger joke is watching CAR Racing on TV!!!!

Talk about a non athletic sport not using body skill and a waste of fuel!!!!! ...also, who wants to see a car go round and round and round repeatedly on the same track???
NOT ME!!!!!

Answer 5

The only one I know is the one I heard the other day:

NASCAR= non athletic sport centered around rednecks