Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

A farmer goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's a$$, and blow the pill up there."
The farmer comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
The farmer respondes, "The horse blew first."

2006-06-06 07:38:30 · 5 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

2006-06-06 07:29:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two moms and two daughters were waiting for a bus. When it came, there were only 3 seats left. Yet each got a seat. How could that be.?

2006-06-06 07:28:21 · 10 answers · asked by baghmom 4

can any1 do that w/o copyin and pastin the letter combination i kno it already i wanna see if u do

2006-06-06 07:18:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A crowd was gathered around a man about to be hanged for his crime.
In the crowd, a man was crying.
Someone asked him "Why are you crying?"
The man answered "Brothers and sisters I have none, but that mans father is my fathers son."
How can that be?

2006-06-06 07:10:43 · 16 answers · asked by baghmom 4

One Yo mama joke per user. I will award the one I see funniest with best answer and 10 points.

2006-06-06 07:10:17 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-06 07:05:40 · 105 answers · asked by gladys 3

2006-06-06 06:38:54 · 16 answers · asked by latino_pimp 1

I bought some of the lil happy sticker tink tink and went around for no good money and five dollar discount at cosco's at cosco onlyif u want some and one time girls in a jar. When that happens what do u say my lil pimkls? NOW THAT'S A TWO BY FOUR TECHNO DISCO CLUB FILLED WITH NOSHRIMP AT A CAR SALESMEN!!! AND WHEN U RUN ROUND WHERE??? OPERA IS NOT ONLY ON OPERA BUT SHE IS ON OpERA!!!!LKJH AMY GIVE ME BAG MY SQUAKY TOY OR I WILL NEUTER, SPAY, AND GET U A CAN FULL OF NO MORE CHAROLOTTE, I AM READY TO MOVE ON AND NEVER GO THE MALL AGAIN WHEN I EAT SOME OLD PEA SOUP, NO WAY. when a lil' boy gets all fed up he walked down my soup and found the left run as fast as u can, omg car!!! SWERVE RIGHT NO LEFT, QUICK STOP AT JOEY'S MEAT MARKET I NEED A MEATLOAF FOR SOME OF THEM ICE SPICE GIRLS IN ASIA:"?NEVER IF I SEE THAT BOY, AND A GIRL IN A TOOTOOOTTTO? WILL they ever make a car made of 50% gas, tele, Dakota Fanning and her brother air conditioner, and some fresh no way did i say????

2006-06-06 06:34:54 · 17 answers · asked by thejonsta 1

One time I got food poisening all over from a chipmunk, so I ran through the house barfing and goin all over the floor, looking for the garbage can. Then I wet myself, leaving a stain in the carpet, AND ON THE WAY I SPILLED JUICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!THEN I MADE SOME MILK USING MY INDOOR COW, AND SPIT THAT ALL OVER MY WIFE!!! SHE WAS ALL LIKE WASSSSSaaaaaa!!!!sdsd#@!@#!@#!... I WAS ALL LIKE, SORRY PAMELA ANDERSON!!!!AND THEN I MADE TOFU AND SOME ALFONSO AND A BUKET FULL OF PIZZA HUT AND WAASSSAAABBII AND TUESDAY AND KAREOKE MACHINE, A LIL HUMMER, AND THEN SOME OF MY GRANDMA, EMINEM, MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND WAT DO U GET? LAMASOAIANOEDAMNCZZQWTIYUODGJ!... VERY GOOD GIRLS!!! COME BACK TOMORROW FOR SOME MORE CHEARLEADING PRACTICE AND REMEMBER, WHAT LITTLE CHICKEN WENT TO THE FARM, ELMO, TOOT TOOT!!!!BUT IT'S OKAY JERRY SPRINGER CUZ I WENT THERE WHEN I MADE FAST BEFORE THE COPS GET U WHEN THAT LIL TOOT MOAJE FARMER TIN CAN SOUP !!!!!!! ONCE UPON SOME OF THAT LIL GIRL!!!!!!! EAT UP!!!!

2006-06-06 06:32:55 · 12 answers · asked by thejonsta 1

2006-06-06 06:17:25 · 7 answers · asked by isyangets 2

Two girls are born on the same day of the same year to the same parents, yet they are not twins. How can that be?

2006-06-06 06:17:06 · 18 answers · asked by Armaan 1

all say hello to the thicko's who hated my question so much,that you sat there with your big fat smelly fingers and answered the bloody thing,now who's a ******** and slappers!!! T o everybody who's normal that answered thanks.Last not to the others how can there be so many tossers on here!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-06 06:16:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I Want To Pull A Prank On My Brother But I Don't Know Any Good Ones.

Does Any One Know Any

2006-06-06 06:12:41 · 10 answers · asked by Bryan Luna 2

l played a little joke on you in my last question and some of you answers are so silly i'm sure some all you are 5.Please try and have alaugh this is in the joke catergory.So lets try and be happy and to the really thicko's who can only say...l don't get it but thanks for the points get a life you sado's!!!! Any body agree with me. p.s to the rest of you have a nice day

2006-06-06 06:06:54 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-06 05:57:23 · 12 answers · asked by PreciousQueen 1

got ya you dirty minded poeple,is that a good joke? People who don't find it funny don't answer.....take care to you all

2006-06-06 05:51:23 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

there is only 1 answer .

2006-06-06 05:50:41 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous

i will give u the correct answer in....... i'll see when
just guess

2006-06-06 05:38:47 · 23 answers · asked by c.ronaldo fanatic (turkey hater) 2

is there?!

2006-06-06 05:33:37 · 17 answers · asked by isyangets 2

One day a big tough piece of tarmac walked into a bar. A man said "Wow, you are a seriously tough piece of tarmac". The tarmac replied "Yeah, I'm from the M5: 100,000 cars roll over me every hour. I'm pretty darn tough." And he goes to sit down in the corner of the bar.

A minute later, a piece of even bigger, tougher tarmac walked in. The man said "Jeez, you are a massively tough piece of tarmac!" The tarmac replied "yeah, I'm from the M4. 1 million cars roll over me every hour. I'm too tough for anything!" and he went to sit down in the corner of the bar.

A minute later, a small piece of orange tarmac walked into the bar. Instantly, the two tough pieces of tarmac screamed and ran out the door. The man wondered why they were frightened, and followed them out.

"I thought you were all tough! Why are you running scared from that tiny little piece of tarmac?"

One of the big pieces of tarmac said fearfully "We're just road tarmac, but him, he's a psychopath!!!"

(cyclepath, geddit???)

2006-06-06 05:30:35 · 5 answers · asked by pittising 2

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that when pregnant, they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.

2006-06-06 05:10:37 · 12 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

There are three houses one is red, one is blue and one is white. If the red house is at the left of the house in the middle and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle, Where is the white house?

2006-06-06 04:54:32 · 13 answers · asked by Armaan 1

Be funny, or creative, or think of what my answer would be.
Best one gets ten points!

2006-06-06 04:45:28 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

How many pickles can a pickle packer pack
if a pickle packer packs picked pickles?

2006-06-06 04:44:58 · 9 answers · asked by opjames 4

2006-06-06 04:31:14 · 30 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

2006-06-06 04:23:30 · 18 answers · asked by Meghana Singh 2

sorry but it's kind of new to me... thanks for answering
*anything that u know of similar and usually used is much appreciated if added*

2006-06-06 04:20:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

not serious, just want the most clever answer.

2006-06-06 04:15:03 · 15 answers · asked by redhead 2

Saw this on a question earlier and just wondered what the heck it is.I may want to be one myself.

2006-06-06 03:57:31 · 8 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5