Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.

What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?
"Chop chop."

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!


One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal barge goes down to speak to the slaves in the hold of his ship. "Men, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, the Queen will be joining us today for a trip up the Nile." The men cheered and rattled their chains. "The bad news is, she wants to go water skiing."

Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
.............................................................
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A Monkey eating cherries.

2006-06-06 03:53:36 · 3 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?" The Old Farmer Said, "that's My Pet Rooster Chucky . Wherever I Go, Chucky Goes."
I Am Sorry Sir," Said The Ticket Agent . "we Can't Allow Animals In The Theater."
The Old Farmer Went Around The Corner And Stuffed The Bird Down His Overalls . He Returned To The Booth, Bought A Ticket And Entered The Theater .
He Sat Down Next To Two Old Widows Named Mildred And Marge.
The Movie Started And The Rooster Began To Squirm . The Old Farmer Unbuttoned His Fly So Chucky Could Stick His Head Out And Watch The Movie .
"Marge," Whispered Mildred . "What?" Said Marge
"I Think The Guy Next To Me Is A Pervert."
"What Makes You Think So?" Asked Marge .
"He Undid His Pants And He Has His Thing Out," Whispered Mildred .
"Well, Don't Worry A Bout It," Said Marge.
" At Our Age We've Seen 'em All"
"I Thought So Too," Said Mildred,
But This One's Eatin My Popcorn!"

2006-06-06 03:48:53 · 12 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

What is your favorite blasphamous 'pope' joke? Here's my new one.

Did you hear the pope got the bird flu?
He got it from one of his cardinals!

2006-06-06 03:43:09 · 8 answers · asked by yozombiesmama 5

except Black Celebration
" Let's have a black celebration
Black celebration
Tonight.........."

2006-06-06 03:36:38 · 18 answers · asked by Styloroc 4

" The ------- physician was ------- to operate because he had -------"

2006-06-06 03:36:02 · 11 answers · asked by super b 4

to end at 6 PM eastern time or central time today? This daylight savings stuff has got me all messed up so I would just like to know how many hours I have left so I can decide if I want to bother with thawing something out for dinner.

2006-06-06 03:09:23 · 14 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

A guy goes to visit his granny and he brings his friends with him.While he`s talking to his granny, his friends starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table and finishes them off.

As they`re leaving, his friends says to his granny,"Thank for the
peanuts."
She says,"Yeah, since I lost my DENTURES I can only suck the chocolate off `em."

2006-06-06 02:53:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

few-bridge freezes berfore road-is there anyone in america who doesnt know this-slow moving school buses use this road-buy faster ones-stop ahead-why we arent bothering anyone-fallen rock zone-didnt know they had morals-deaf child ahead-she is not blind why poke fun at her-blind child ahead-they are blind cant read sign-slow child ahead-stop inbreeding-speed limit anything-dont think so i see cars going faster all the time-help out and throw some more in one i like best gets ten-keep the peace old hippie

2006-06-06 02:35:57 · 6 answers · asked by bergice 6

It can be crazy, funny, a joke, retarded or just thinking back...I'll start just to break the ice...I remember when I was the prankster in my high school football team, one day we were getting ready to go to a football party and some guys on the team told me that the party changed to a pajama party, so when I went to the party I came in boxer and a tank top everybody else were in there regular clothes and the guy in my team were in the back laughing, I guess what goes around comes around...LOL

2006-06-06 02:30:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ten 10 points are involved

2006-06-06 02:08:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-06 02:04:40 · 7 answers · asked by I'm eating right now. 2

Its the third box of Pringles that I m opening today.....
Help!!!!

2006-06-06 02:00:43 · 20 answers · asked by Styloroc 4

A woman enrolled in nursing school was attending an anatomy
class. The subject of the day was involuntary muscles.
The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asked
the woman "Do you know what your a*s hole does when you're
having an orgasm?"
"Sure" she said. "He's at home, taking care of the kids"

2006-06-06 01:53:24 · 13 answers · asked by Pd 6

on Lombard street http://www.sftravel.com/lomabardcrookedstreet.html

2006-06-06 01:39:48 · 11 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

2006-06-06 01:37:57 · 13 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

2006-06-06 01:34:42 · 19 answers · asked by MojoMan 6

so if you dont get a f... you dont give a f....

2006-06-06 01:14:59 · 2 answers · asked by Peter B 3

2006-06-06 01:12:43 · 16 answers · asked by udayy2 3

2006-06-06 01:06:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-06 00:51:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

a music note that you play with your eyes?

2006-06-06 00:31:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Im on the 27th Riddle. Something about the flame is stronger than the morning star. Can anyone help?

2006-06-06 00:25:46 · 3 answers · asked by isaac_thelionhearted 1

2006-06-06 00:22:22 · 43 answers · asked by DJ ABK 3

People who buy it, don't use the one they buy. People who are using it, don't know they're using it. People who make them, don't use the ones they make. What is it?

2006-06-06 00:11:15 · 9 answers · asked by lakey214 2

2006-06-06 00:00:15 · 17 answers · asked by nine 1

2006-06-06 00:00:14 · 9 answers · asked by nine 1

2006-06-06 00:00:11 · 16 answers · asked by nine 1

2006-06-06 00:00:09 · 8 answers · asked by nine 1

2006-06-05 23:53:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-05 23:53:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous