Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-29 12:17:28 · 21 answers · asked by nala enegue rellet 1

2006-06-29 12:16:59 · 19 answers · asked by singdancelove 3

Here it is again.....

Everyone has to cross this river in Japan. Here are the rules:

1) Only 2 people can be on the raft at one time.
2) Only mom, dad, & cop know how to operate the raft.
3) The sons can't be with their mom without their dad present.
4) The daughters can't be with their dad without their mom present.
5) The thief (in stripes) can't be with anyone in the family without the policeman present.
6) Everyone has to make it to the other side of the river.
Click the big blue circle to get started, and to move the raft, click the pole with the red tip on either side of the river. Have fun!

http://freeweb.siol.net/danej/riverIQGame.swf

2006-06-29 12:13:22 · 49 answers · asked by ☼Shiloh☼ 2

A palindrom is a word/phrase that is spelled same way forward and backwards. Ex-racecar

2006-06-29 12:09:56 · 11 answers · asked by iluvsoftball 2

Tell me a joke- the funniest one wins
anything goes

2006-06-29 12:09:10 · 12 answers · asked by Aryca D 2

......your girl/boy friend told you that they had something very important to tell you but they could only tell you on the Jerry Springer Show?

2006-06-29 11:52:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-29 11:52:03 · 7 answers · asked by the bodine machine 1

2006-06-29 11:44:28 · 9 answers · asked by big buff 2

2006-06-29 11:40:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-29 11:38:04 · 19 answers · asked by reezer314 1

Ok, this one is a bit more complex....
My friend invited me for a drink the other night, so I asked what time i should meet her, she then spouted this apparent nonsense!
"There are 2 brothers who guard this mansion, they circle the ground constantly, one of the brothers is a bit older than the other and takes him a bit longer to patrol the ground, so every so often they pass and the older brother looks up and nods to his younger brother." She told me to meet me at the seventh time the brothers meet. When do I need to meet my freind??

2006-06-29 11:34:43 · 9 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

1. the check is in the mail
2. ill respect you in the morning
3. im from the government, and i am here to help you
4. its only a cold sore
5. you get this one, ill pay next time
6. my wife doesnt understand me
7. trust me, ill take care of everything
8. of course i love you
9. we are getting a divorce. we lead seperate lives anyway
10. drinking? why no officer
11. its not the money, it the principle of the thing
12. but we can still be good friends
13. she means nothing to me
14. dont worry, hes never bitten anyone
15. ill call you later
16. ive never done anything like this before
17. now, im going to tell you the truth
18. its supposed to make that noise
19 ....than take a left. you cant miss it
20. yes, i did

2006-06-29 11:33:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Grilling 101
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day when the man
looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I
mean really big.
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."
With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measures the
barbecue grill and goes over to where his wife was working and
measured his wife's bottom.
"Yes, I was right, your butt is 2" wider than the barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He
makes some advances towards his wife who completely coldly brushes
him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: " Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-***
grill for one little weenie ?"

2006-06-29 11:23:46 · 13 answers · asked by beckabee74 2

just having a litle fun!!

2006-06-29 11:19:24 · 15 answers · asked by Amanda F 4

1. practice the art of limp handshakes
2. tell the ending of movies
3. blow out other peoples birthday candles
4. when giving directions, leave out a turn or two
5. before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons, incuding the buttons on the emergency phone
6. draw mustaches on posters
7. bite your dentsts finger
8. dance fast to slow music and vice versa
9. tell people they have breath
10.smell smoke often and announce it
11. eat out at an expensicve restarunts with friends and "forget" your wallet
12. put everyone on speakerphone
13. step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
14. make scary faces at babies
15. flirt with a friends spouse
16. pretend your listening
17 shake with your left hand

2006-06-29 11:11:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

it was inside out

2006-06-29 11:09:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Another little puzzle to play with, something easy to start with...

XXIII VIII XV XI IX XII XII V IIII X XXI XII IX XXI XIX III V XIX V I XIIX?

2006-06-29 11:07:52 · 6 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

I think it's Dane Cook

2006-06-29 11:01:12 · 23 answers · asked by Sgt. Pepper 2

I mean, who is going to question or disprove anything an astronomer, for example, say's? ;-)

2006-06-29 11:00:39 · 12 answers · asked by Aristotle 1

he made the kids by the candy

2006-06-29 10:55:40 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 when they ask "how r u 2oday?" tell them "im so glad u asked bcause no 1 these days seems 2 care, and i have all these problems my arthritis is acting up, my eylashes r sore, my dog just died...
2 if they say theyre john doe from xyz company, ask them to spell their name. than ask them where it is located. than ask them to spell the company name. continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as neccessary
3 cry out in surpeise, "judy! is that you? oh my god! judy, how have you been? hopefully, this will give judy a few breif moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from
4 tell the telemarketer you are on home incarteration and ask if they could bring you beer and cornchips
5 after the telemarkerter gives there spiel ask him/her to marry you. ehen they get all flustered, tell them that you could not give your credit card to a complete stranger
6 tell them to very slowly , because you want to write every word down

2006-06-29 10:50:59 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-29 10:50:48 · 20 answers · asked by AnswerBot 4

2006-06-29 10:41:16 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two blonde girls were working for the city public
>works department.
>
>One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind
>her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of
>the street, then down the other, then moved on to the
>next street, working furiously all day without rest,
>one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in
>again.
>
>The onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but
>couldn't understand what they were doing.
>
>So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the
>effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't
>get it-why do you dig a hole, only to have your
>partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
>
>The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I
>suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a
>three-person team. But today the girl who plants the
>trees called in sick."
>

2006-06-29 10:31:33 · 11 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4

do you have any jokes so i can laugh?!in so freakin bored!

2006-06-29 10:31:05 · 6 answers · asked by Grack 5

There are in ascending order of difficulty:

1. If a rooster is on the top of a roof and it lays an egg, to which side does it roll?

2. Thirty white horses on a red hill. First they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still.

3. This thing all things devours,
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers,
Gnaws iron, bites steel,
Grinds hard stone to meal.
Slays king, ruins town,
Beats high mountain down.

4. What is greater than God,
More evil than the Devil,
The rich need it,
The poor have it,
If you eat it, you will die?

5. Pretend you are in a room with steel walls, floor and cieling. There are no doors, windows, or other openings, and there is nothing in the room. How do you escape?

2006-06-29 10:17:58 · 15 answers · asked by forealmsnwn 2

2006-06-29 10:17:02 · 19 answers · asked by theford 1

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to friends you know. You want them to know you all are living in 2006.

2006-06-29 10:15:27 · 12 answers · asked by Kooties 5

I bet someone knows this funny one...

2006-06-29 10:08:19 · 8 answers · asked by Peter in La Jolla San Diego CA 4

2006-06-29 10:02:54 · 31 answers · asked by budgetcasket 2