C'mon, share your fav. joke!?

Answer 1

Little Johnny was passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeked in and caught his folks in The Act.

Before his dad could even react, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, Daddy agreed.

Johnny hopped on and Daddy started going to town. Pretty soon Mommy started moaning and gasping.

Johnny cried out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

Answer 2

This is an old norwegian joke my grandfather told me.

Sven was flying to see his sister Lena in Minneapolis. On the plane he sat next to a distinguished looking man in a three piece suit. Being a friendly guy Sven turned to the man and asked, "So, how's it goin' for ya then?" The man glared at Sven and snarled back, "Sir, I am an English professor at the University of Minnesota and I am disgusted by your butchery of the language. You cannot end a sentence with a preposition."

Well Sven felt pretty bad, but he decided the man was probably right. After a minute of thought he turned back to the man and asked, "So, how's it goin' for ya then, a**hole?"

Answer 3

A blonde, and red head and a brunette are walking through the desert and the brunette decides to bring a apple, she said " So when I get hungry, I will have something to eat. The red head decides to bring an orange. She said " so when I get hungry and thirsty, I will have something. The Blonde said she was bringing a car door. The other two girls look at her and ask why. The blonde says, Just in case I ge to warm, I will roll down the window.

Answer 4

2 boys at camp enter a poetry contest. The first boy Tim had to make up a poem with the word dove in it, he studied a minute and said " my heart it sits upon branch waiting for the seldom chance to fly and fall in love." Everyone clapped and then it was Steven's turn his word was Timbuktu. He frowned and knitted his brow and studied for several minutes and just when he was about to give up a smile crossed his face as he recited " Tim and I a campin we went, spied 3 maidens in a tent, them being 3 and us being 3 I bucked one and Tim bucked 2." Ha Ha

Answer 5

My favorite joke is not actually a joke.I like to hear Ron White tell about the time he got arrested in New York for being drunk in public.

Answer 6

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!" He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again. "Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?" The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

Answer 7

A Priest, Alcoholic,and Pediphile walk into a bar! This is the first guy!

Answer 8

its long but hey what the heck ive got time and uve got space! lol

ok there a cowboy sitting at the bar and a woman sits down next to him and says are you a real cowboy, the cowboy says yes..... she goes well im a lesbian. the cowboy goes ohh really. she says yeah i get up in the morning thinking about girls i go throught the wole day thinking about girls and i go to bed playing with my self thinking about girls. the cowboy says well thats intresting she goes hey well i gotta go ill see you around. a man walks up to the bar and sits down he too asks are you a real cowboy? the cowboy says well i used to think so but now i think im a lesbian!

haha i dunno maybe its better if someone is telling it lol

Answer 9

i dunt know if u lyk it or not but its my favourite

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro,
and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok.
In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John.
Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of Supporting a friend.
Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues...

And the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see Bubble in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."


First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next."
You sweet Girl; Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class gets up:

"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

Answer 10

a guy goes in to see his doctor, who tells him he has 24 hours to live, so he goes home and tells his wife "i want to make love to u as many times as i possibly can before i die" so they do it a couple times and fall assleep, around 4:30 in the morning he wakes her up and says "i want to make love to you one last time" and she replies "thats easy for you to say jerry, you dont have to get up in the morning :D