Marriage & Divorce - 17 July 2006

I am aware that separation and divorce belong to the most stressful times in life. People start showing sides of them that are not their best etc.
Has anyone been separating (after many years together and when pre-teens were involved) and has managed that in a civilized way? I am talking situations when there is more than just the bicycle and the stereo to share.
Recipies please. Any advice?
Fyi, in my case, been together 20 years, 2 children (12 + 9), parents do care for each other and have made progress but just seem to have reached some sort of serious dead-end as emotional partners. Wife (me) gave up her work 2 years ago.
Some of my good friends have taken 5 years (triger to end) to do a reasonably amicable split in similar circumstances. Sounds right to you?
Many thanks for your help.
Easy-2-points-earners, do you mind picking another question? Appreciate.

2006-07-17 23:47:43 · 19 answers · asked by Claire 4

How can a man just stop talking to a woman he dated for over a year? No emails, no phone calls, or anything.

If he really loved her could he do this to her? Would it be too painful for him to just call to end things? And if he wanted to end things, why not have the decency to send an email at the least?

Can a man have a relationship with someone for that long and really not have feelings?

2006-07-17 23:30:39 · 18 answers · asked by torn 3

2006-07-17 23:25:08 · 23 answers · asked by runninfool 3

my husband is claiming bankruptcy on all his credit cards - only one of them has both our names on it. wondering if he can do that without my consent.

2006-07-17 23:22:45 · 6 answers · asked by Blueayez 1

2006-07-17 23:20:30 · 22 answers · asked by me 2

2006-07-17 23:18:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am Palestinian girl. I engaged to an American 2 months ago while he was spending his vacation here in Palestine. We signed the merrage contract before he left, and we planned to do the wedding in the next February. I ask you to read the following paciently and then give what you advise me to do please.
Before few days he sent me the following email:
"I don't know what to do either. I am being
completely honest when I say I really have been busy.
I get home I'm always tired. I fall asleep at home, I
fall asleep at work and I know it's driving you crazy
as well. I am so stressed out and some of the doctors
are so mean and they add stress to our lives. I
couldn't even stay awake to watch the world cup game
and the only reason I know who won was because my
friend told me. I'm sorry that I got you into this
mess. I am miserable right now. I am so overworked
and I guess in reality I wasn't ready to make these
big life changing steps that I thought I was ready to
take. We can't go on like this...there is no time to
get to know one another but at the same time I don't
blame either you or I. Because I think you did not
know I would be this busy and then you get angry at me
for falling asleep or not calling. I sleep in the
hospital 3-4 times every week. And I feel that even
if I were married this life would be too difficult for
another person to deal with. A wife should be able to
see her husband to get to know him and with this life
there is no time for either person. I know I told you
I would be busy but I didn't know it would be like
this. And I apologize but I think there is too much
heartache and I am in the most difficult and stressful
part of my life right now. I think you feel the same
way when I say we should really reconsider and think
about what we are doing here and if we can carry on
this way. Let me know what you think but I feel very
bad and I have been extremely depressed on top of all
the work that I am doing. I will talk to you soon and
I am sorry that the cards my father brought for me
didn't work. But he said he was sorry about this.
Take care and I hope this reaches you in good health

2006-07-17 23:04:37 · 13 answers · asked by Olivia 1

2006-07-17 23:00:23 · 31 answers · asked by sure 1

2006-07-17 22:59:40 · 5 answers · asked by R S 4

I'm 18 and I've never been Christianed, neither has my parents, so I guess I am protestant? I don't believe in God but I want to become a Catholic because when I get married I want to be Catholic and not Christian. Could anyone tell me what I do to become a Catholic? What do they believe in? I know they are very strict in such things like contraception and abortion, (they wouldn't like me much).

2006-07-17 22:38:46 · 24 answers · asked by susanradford18 4

Both my husband and I work at the same company and we have to be dropped off at our work sites each morning, I ride the company van and he rides the company bus, we do spend our lunch together but a new girl was hired and her first day I trained her, now she has an area of her own and she rides the bus but everyday she tries to sit next to my husband and I get a feeling that she is after him, He says he avoids her as much as possible, he tries to sit elsewhere on the bus but sometimes he has no choice when the bus is full he has to sit by her. She is married but when I trained her she talked as if she wasn't happy. Now she barely speaks to me but she always speaks to my husband, Am I being paranoid or should I watch out.

2006-07-17 22:37:21 · 7 answers · asked by faithsheart44 1

DO YOU THINK THAT IF YOUR MARRIED ITS YOUR OBLIGATION TO PLEASE YOUR MATE IN THE BEDROOM YOU DID MARRY AND YOU DID AGREE TO BE HIS OR HERS WITHOUT CONDITIONS . DO YOU THINK THIS APLIES TO THE BED ?

2006-07-17 22:25:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

my husband of many years cheated on me for approx four years. i know the other women and it's making it so much harder to get over. i picture them together and things she has told me make sence now... my husband admited to it and is trying hard to move on. i'm told that that's the way men work, they make a mistake, admit to it and feel badly bout it but just want to move on, as appose to us women who harp on the mistake and constently try to rectify the mistakes we've made. how am i spose to move on when i keep on getting down about it and thinking about times they spent together and things and places they went to and what they did. my husband is being very understanding and is trying hard to make up for all the wrongs he's done... any advice?

2006-07-17 22:22:52 · 9 answers · asked by me 2

Before my husband and I were married I made sure
he knew all about me, and the things I have done
that where the most controversial or dispicable.

In complete honestly, an engaged or soon to be
engaged couple should be forthright with such
things. It enables the other to freely decide
if they truly want to be married. I have heard
some say that there are some things that are
not the others business. I beg to differ.

Secrets can come out later in life and cause
disaster in the marriage. It also prevents
the person from forming an honest opinion of
you and conflicts with that persons freedom
of choice.

Witholding information to keep a relationship going
is not fair to the other person. I also feel it is a form of lying-especially where important/or controversial subjects
are concerned that person has a right to know
as your future spouse...

This would entail anything and everything that might offend
or cause the person to rethink the relationship.

What do you think?

2006-07-17 22:14:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

first off i read your answers and except for the one person i replied to who was fresh enough to make it sound like i had something to do with my child behavior,thanks to all the answers that made me feel better. i would like to point out like i did that my child was doing fine until her dad got locked up. she goes to church and sings on a choir. she just acting up cause her dad aint around. i want to say thanks to peach, c2god2. and jennifersuem you gave the best advice. next tell my kid her dad is in jail??? she is mixed and i am black her dad is latino. when she goes to school in sept. and says to the teacher her dad is in jail. they will sterotype against her. when i registered her and her dad couldn't show up the principal asked me if he was incarcerated?y i dont know.I told her no. when we went back for her 2nd interview and his mom came the teacher saw her an said am sorry i did not realize how busy your husband was that he could not make it it's nice his mom showed up.sterotype

2006-07-17 22:12:37 · 4 answers · asked by sexylousleo 2

2006-07-17 22:04:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-17 22:02:37 · 10 answers · asked by Jad 1

He got mad when he found out it was with the whole football team what should I do?

2006-07-17 21:46:56 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

We were a couple first...but then due to distance things went sour..and she lost faith in our relationship and moved on and got married. Now she again got in touch with me and professed that she wants desperately to come back. But ever since then again due to some of our mistakes things went sour again. I am also to blame but I have made just some minor mistakes...like calling up at the wrong times when her hubby was around...or throwing tantrum when I thought she gave me no attention bcoz she was too busy with hre hubby and frnds. And now again she says she wants to break up and is saying those same nasty things due to which we moved apart. And yes when she recently met me, we got physical. I feel used, and feel sick of always trying to make it work..and she always wants it to end. I want to be on the other side and have her tell me to not go and be around? She blames me for everything that goes wrong

2006-07-17 21:41:56 · 10 answers · asked by Viruosity 1

It is 2:10 and I am doing just that. My wife, the love of my life since 18 years of age has left me for another. She goes on with her happy life feeling no pain yet I sit here feeling miserable. "We grew apart". Isn't that always the answer these days. Anyone else in my shoes feel free to IM me.

2006-07-17 21:19:42 · 11 answers · asked by Scott B 2

I have been with my bf for 6 years and he has made it clear to me that he does not want to get married...he has even mentioned that I should move in with him...but he doesn't want to get married...he says he doesn't believe in marriage...should I throw away my dreams of marriage and move in with him in the future or should I look for someone else?

2006-07-17 20:59:40 · 24 answers · asked by sexyprincess 2

we have been together for 15 yrs now,life isn't grand but we get by,i have never let her go without anything,i work hard, we pay our bills, were buying a home,she has a nice car to drive,we got some money put away,so my ? is ,why do i want to leave,i do still love her,but i just feel like packing a few things and leaving,no their isn't another woman!i just want out,and i don't understand why i'm feeling this way.and i need to know why i'm wanting to do this to her,she has always been a good wife and mother,so why am i wanting to just walk away from it all?any help would be appreciated.

2006-07-17 20:51:32 · 15 answers · asked by hshellraiser 2

She is a divorcee and me too...! We r in contact for last 2 years, but met only 4-5 times and in presence of her parents. Last time we met in a garden, where we discussed our problems, we have faced during these years, and our future life & dreams. We talked about my Mom & my little daughter Jessica, who is now 7 years and studying in 3rd standard. Everything was perfectly O.K. till then, and now, to my surprise, she is saying - 'please marry another girl...'

2006-07-17 20:46:53 · 16 answers · asked by Patty 1

2006-07-17 20:38:22 · 20 answers · asked by Xena 3

he comes home late,wearing female perfum,doesnt spend weekend with me ,ful of excuses for everything.

2006-07-17 20:33:52 · 18 answers · asked by mwenda_d 1

We have two beautiful kids and a great relationship. But whenever we meet new people and they ask us how we met, when we tell them they're like, oh that will never last or they're shocked. Why? I believe I met my soulmate early. Is anyone else out there married to someone they met when they were young?

2006-07-17 20:33:52 · 18 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

I'm thinking about becoming married. Is it OK to be friends with past ex-lovers/girlfriends/boyfriends after we marry? Right, wrong, risky, impossible, OK, moral, immoral? What is the norm, or acceptable in our society?

2006-07-17 20:29:32 · 9 answers · asked by runninfool 3

2006-07-17 20:13:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

this is just sheer curiosity, i'm not shopping around.

2006-07-17 19:51:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-17 19:50:02 · 14 answers · asked by minako 1