Do you think this is the end???

Question

I am Palestinian girl. I engaged to an American 2 months ago while he was spending his vacation here in Palestine. We signed the merrage contract before he left, and we planned to do the wedding in the next February. I ask you to read the following paciently and then give what you advise me to do please.
Before few days he sent me the following email:
"I don't know what to do either. I am being
completely honest when I say I really have been busy.
I get home I'm always tired. I fall asleep at home, I
fall asleep at work and I know it's driving you crazy
as well. I am so stressed out and some of the doctors
are so mean and they add stress to our lives. I
couldn't even stay awake to watch the world cup game
and the only reason I know who won was because my
friend told me. I'm sorry that I got you into this
mess. I am miserable right now. I am so overworked
and I guess in reality I wasn't ready to make these
big life changing steps that I thought I was ready to
take. We can't go on like this...there is no time to
get to know one another but at the same time I don't
blame either you or I. Because I think you did not
know I would be this busy and then you get angry at me
for falling asleep or not calling. I sleep in the
hospital 3-4 times every week. And I feel that even
if I were married this life would be too difficult for
another person to deal with. A wife should be able to
see her husband to get to know him and with this life
there is no time for either person. I know I told you
I would be busy but I didn't know it would be like
this. And I apologize but I think there is too much
heartache and I am in the most difficult and stressful
part of my life right now. I think you feel the same
way when I say we should really reconsider and think
about what we are doing here and if we can carry on
this way. Let me know what you think but I feel very
bad and I have been extremely depressed on top of all
the work that I am doing. I will talk to you soon and
I am sorry that the cards my father brought for me
didn't work. But he said he was sorry about this.
Take care and I hope this reaches you in good health

Answer 1

Yes, indeed, this is very much the end. He is telling you that in every which with except in neon letters. Do destroy the contract and tell him that you have your own life to lead also, so that you understand and concur. The more graceful the end, the less painful the process.
And DO go on to lead your own life. There is always plenty of time to meet a real caring person instead of this wimp. Good luck and I wish you well with much happiness in your life.

Answer 2

Does he work as an intern at a hospital? If he does then he is not lying about the lack of sleep. They normally don't get much sleep and they crave it really badly. I think he knows this and doesn't want to bring you into his life when he's going through all of this. It will last the duration of his internship. Perhaps, if you really love him and want to try to make this work, become his email pal where you should not expect him to reply for a week or more. I know several guys like this and they are all single because of the hours that they place in work and there is almost none left over for anyone else or themselves. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Hi there
Well, I honestly could not tell you what to do here. What I can tell you is what I read in his letter:
he cares for you
he is truly sorry about not being able to keep in touch with you
he is overworked, overstressed and does not know how to get out of that
possibly he thinks that there is no other option in his life at this stage but to be that busy
he wants to know what you think (can you carry on like this?), he knows that is not a great life he is offering.

Now, the choice is yours really.

I have spent 20 years with a guy (my husband) who has always been that busy but never thought it would nice to apologise or to acknowledge it does not make my life easy or to express he understands why I would want to be with him...

All I can say.
Good luck anyway.

Answer 4

Dear Lady, after reading this I would say that your marriage is OFF for next year. This man clearly does not want to be married to you or anyone else. He's making excuses and has said he cannot be burdened with a wife at this time. Do yourself a favor and tell him you burned the contract (and do it). I noticed that he really didn't ask about you or profess that he loved you. He is selfish and self-centered. Find yourself another man. This one has more problems than you want to deal with. Good luck.

Answer 5

It really hurts to be in love. It is part of it. The fact that he told u that he isnt ready for that big change in his life means he is not ready for the married life. Be thankful and look at the brighter side of it. Thank God u knew he isnt ready as early as now if not u will surely suffer more. Dont worry, u can recover also, just be strong. When he calls you, just tell him your true feelings but then tell him that u realized he is not the type u want to marry, that u want a family man and one who can show love.

Answer 6

His stress is confusing him. I agree completely with every word Claire, above said. I know he is telling the truth and he hasn't CLOSED the relationship, just feels overwhelmed by his schedule. The fatigue he's experiencing is bad. BUT...where is the love? He didn't say he loves you? THAT is the troubling part. Does he express love to you? If not, that is a complete deal breaker. Hope you all work it out. It sounds like he cares for you.

Answer 7

Dear
The man was honest all the way with you at least thats what i see and feel in his e mail... so why bother your self and keep think what went wrong coz am sure nothing went wrong but i know much about long destance relation and believe me it hurts for both sides ... my best wishs to you ... i hope i helped some how
♥

Answer 8

it all depends on what exactly YOU wanna do.catch the next flight sit across the foolish man and try to figure out whats up his mind.I dont think he is very clear in his mind about the relationship and it will lead to a disaster even if u live together...thats my guess...best of luck

Answer 9

Its an absolute escapist mentality.And worst is the excuses he is trying to find out.He should have the coourage to say that he has changed his mind.Better u sho wtaht courage.He is not worthy of your emotion lady.

Answer 10

that is the lamest excuse out of the relationship.....drop him....it hurts but it beats waiting a never ending story....go...live your life of freedom once again...learn to love again.....it pains....yes I know....better to let go now and hurt wont last for too long...