my husband of many years cheated on me for approx four years. i know the other women and it's making it so much harder to get over. i picture them together and things she has told me make sence now... my husband admited to it and is trying hard to move on. i'm told that that's the way men work, they make a mistake, admit to it and feel badly bout it but just want to move on, as appose to us women who harp on the mistake and constently try to rectify the mistakes we've made. how am i spose to move on when i keep on getting down about it and thinking about times they spent together and things and places they went to and what they did. my husband is being very understanding and is trying hard to make up for all the wrongs he's done... any advice?
2006-07-17 22:22:52 · 9 answers · asked by me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Cheaters never change. Sorry
Forgiveness is one thing. It is OK to forgive him, but don't forget. If you are to stay together he should understand that your trust will be hard to earn back. If he can not except your skepticism I would say move on.
There are men out there that don't cheat.
2006-07-17 22:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jon H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know about marriage and cheating but a friend of mine grew up with her father cheating on her mother all of her life (for 18 years with the same woman). Her mother continued to be married to this day to the man but they no longer live together and she has, over the years, become an alcoholic.
My friend didn't put two and two together when she was young but it is messing up her relationships with men now. I just hope kids aren't involved because it hurts them. As someone said to me once, "it is better to be from a broken family than to live in one".
I am sorry this isn't more uplifting.
2006-07-18 05:32:39 · answer #2 · answered by Tell it like it is 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying, "Once a cheater - always a cheater" holds true. You can suck it up and forgive him, but can you trust him? It gets easier to cheat the 2nd time or 3rd time. For one thing, stay away from that woman. She won't tell you anything to make you feel better. A woman who cheats with a married man is too dishonest to ever trust. This woman only wants to hurt you.
2006-07-18 05:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lied and cheated for four years. No way can you trust this guy ever again. Don't get over it, divorce him and move on. It's not like this was a one time thing, he cheated for FOUR YEARS! You deserve better and he is not worthy to be with you. I know it is hard to do, but you should move on.
2006-07-18 11:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend...4 years? Thats not like some one night stand when he went out with his buddies and got drunk. He had an intimate relationship with her. Im not sure if I could ever forgive him. He lied and deceived you for years now he just expects you to just say, "ok...I forgive you." It's never easy and even if you forgive... you will never forget. Check into counseling....you two really need it!
2006-07-18 18:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from the male perspective, ive been cheated on and fot with it for years, even tho i knew she was sorry it still did not take the hurt away. its easy to forgive but to forget is something i still cant do. i hope yours turns out better. mine ended in a divorce 3 years later
2006-07-18 05:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men work like that, you know? Only jerks do. If I ever cheated on my girl, I would never even dare to ask her for forgiveness. My advice is dump him.
2006-07-18 05:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's what he is doing now.
if you do get over it and move on.... he will wait a while then do it again.
the only reason he stopped this time is because you found out.
2006-07-18 05:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him pay...need to say more?
2006-07-18 06:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by chasing rainbow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋