Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

is this funny ?http://youtube.com/watch?v=oK2RfA1Ga0o

2007-03-03 12:03:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh you almost got away with it. the other guy said i...

2007-03-03 12:00:49 · 27 answers · asked by ♥{puεrtoяicaи. аиgεl}♥ 5

I have four spheres
but I am not round
I am in a prison of water
but do not drown

What am I?

2007-03-03 11:54:00 · 15 answers · asked by Clara Isabella 5

This creature, part man and part tree,
hates the termite as much as the flea.
His tracks do not match, and his limbs detach,
but he's not a strange creature to see.

What is he?

2007-03-03 11:52:26 · 23 answers · asked by Clara Isabella 5

seven days makes one WEEK. seven days of sex makes one WEAK. but no sex in one week makes one SICK, however, good sex in once a week makes one SEEK...

hahaha

2007-03-03 11:52:12 · 4 answers · asked by mar 2

2007-03-03 11:49:31 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

A word there is of plural number
Foe to ease and tranquil slumber.
Any other word you take
And add an “s” will plural make;
But if you add an “s” to this
So strange the metamorphosis:
Plural is now plural no more
And sweet what bitter was before.

What is the word?

2007-03-03 11:49:07 · 5 answers · asked by Clara Isabella 5

Its one where a mom tells a little boy that sh*t is another name for carpet and other stuff and then cops i think knock on d door and d boy answers and tells em in a sentence with all the other names the mother tells him. 'walk over the sh*t come into...' thats all I really know.

2007-03-03 11:47:17 · 2 answers · asked by well.theres.a.few 6

FRONT: as days go by, i think how lucky i am
INSIDE: that you are not here to ruin it for me

FRONT: i always wanted to have someone to love and hold
INSIDE: after having met u, ive changed my mind

FRONT: i must admit you brought religion in my life
INSIDE: i never believed in hell till i met u

FRONT: looking back over the years that we have been together, i can't help but wonder
INSIDE: what the hell was i thinking????

hehehehe:))

2007-03-03 11:46:38 · 11 answers · asked by mar 2

The doctor arrives & goes into the bedroom to examine her. After a while he returns to the crowded room & says to the husband
"I think your wife has acute angina"
The man replies "Yes, well she's got great t*ts as well, but we don't have to tell the whole family, do we?"

2007-03-03 11:45:14 · 15 answers · asked by funnygirl 4

if u get it right i send a feedback saying "yes"

2007-03-03 11:43:06 · 3 answers · asked by rbjb 2

Jeez....It took the firemen four hours to get me out from under her, not good, not good at all.

2007-03-03 11:40:43 · 3 answers · asked by florrie f 3

a lady." "Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy. "But Mommy, I was sitting on Daddy's lap."

2007-03-03 11:38:31 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

At the disco? He won the championship freestyle competition. He shook it, he shook it, he shook it like a polaroid picture.

2007-03-03 11:36:11 · 10 answers · asked by florrie f 3

i turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

2007-03-03 11:34:00 · 17 answers · asked by slaboochie 4

2007-03-03 11:30:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life." She said, "So what? Lots of people have to take a pill every day their whole lives." He said, "I know, but he only gave me four pills!"

2007-03-03 11:20:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-03 11:15:29 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.

"Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"t he guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."

"We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.
"No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it."

I don't understand the last part, when he sat on it? What's that suppose mean?

2007-03-03 11:07:46 · 23 answers · asked by babycakes_rocks 3

any type of joke doesnt matter what its about.

ex:Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat *** out of the way.
whats that wrinkly thing on your grandpa?>>>>>>> YOUR GRANDPA

2007-03-03 10:59:26 · 16 answers · asked by D-Ray 2

Can you friend request me?

My e-mail for myspace is secksybiscit24@yahoo.com

2007-03-03 10:45:56 · 14 answers · asked by ♥ Jazzy™♥ 1

2007-03-03 10:45:24 · 10 answers · asked by florrie f 3

ive heard it so much and have never understood wut it means!

2007-03-03 10:39:23 · 10 answers · asked by chiquillagorda 1

one day, there were 3 girls- a brunet, black head, & a blond. they went to steal a cow. the farmer was stupid, but he heard something. he got a shot gun and shouted, "who's there?" the black head hid behind a cow, the brunet hid in the chicken coop, and the blond hid behind a sack of potatoes. the farmer went to room with the cow and said "who's there?" the black head said "moo." so the farmer went on. the farmer checked the chicken coop and said "who's there?" the brunet said "cluck cluck." so the farmer went on. when the farmer went to the potato sack, he said "who's there?" the blond said" potatoes potatoes potatoes." the farmer searched the sack and shot the blond.

2007-03-03 10:35:14 · 18 answers · asked by ♥frisco♥ 6

Just Mustard

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

2007-03-03 10:31:20 · 19 answers · asked by Tangerine 1

My answer would b 3 more wishes 4 me! dont copy and u cant say 10 more wishes or any number of more wishes cuz thats copying!

2007-03-03 10:13:02 · 45 answers · asked by mjeanieclue4ya2 3

i turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?


97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the riddle?

haha. i was on myspace and then i saww it..

i cant figure it out, can you?

2007-03-03 10:10:38 · 4 answers · asked by Hottgurl 2

I've discovered that other people on 'answers' were also looking for this song but as yet, no-one's told us! The song goes:
'All of a sudden a great big pudding came flying through the air,
it missed me mother and hit me father and knocked him off his chair...'
Apparently it's to the tune of the Souza March and I think it's quite old (ask old relatives!!!).
My eternal gratitude to anyone that can tell me where this song is from, or the rest of the words! PLEASE it's driving me mad!

2007-03-03 10:09:34 · 7 answers · asked by Cpt. Willard 4

i bet you all can not answer this riddle.,

2007-03-03 10:08:48 · 9 answers · asked by emmanuel n 1

The bartender tells the pig, "Down the hall & to the left."

A 2nd pig walks in & says, "Give me 2 drinks & tell me where the bathroom is." The bartender says, "Down the hall & to the left."

A 3rd pig walks in and says, "Give me 3 drinks & tell me where the bathroom is." The bartender says, "Down the hall & to the left."

A 4th pig walks in and says, "Give me 4 drinks & tell me where the bathroom is." The bartender says, "Down the hall & to the left."

A 5th pig walks in and says, "Bartender, give me 5 drinks." He drinks them and gets up to leave.

The bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you going to ask me where the bathroom is?"

"No", said the pig.

"I'm the little piggy that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home!"

:)

2007-03-03 10:00:55 · 20 answers · asked by Matty A 3