Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

or leave it alone

2007-03-07 10:53:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I love to laugh so if u have any jokes tell me them and i will choose the funniest one as the best answer!

2007-03-07 10:52:40 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

One guy walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

2007-03-07 10:44:57 · 8 answers · asked by The G man 1

Invisable for just one hour what would you do !?

2007-03-07 10:31:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

what's special about this number 2675301?

2007-03-07 10:30:13 · 9 answers · asked by cookie 5

2007-03-07 10:27:55 · 16 answers · asked by scottie_metcalf 2

2007-03-07 10:25:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-07 10:25:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-07 10:24:37 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-07 10:24:19 · 13 answers · asked by old-bag 3

2007-03-07 10:23:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

i turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

2007-03-07 10:20:17 · 11 answers · asked by JESSE B 1

He counts 74 legs.
How many chickesn are there?

2007-03-07 10:19:53 · 22 answers · asked by marajader2d2 3

I have eyes, a nose, and even a face.
My ribs are short, my tail is flat. Yet I have no body.

What am I?

2007-03-07 10:10:41 · 10 answers · asked by terbiyesiz_herif 4

you can see a cunning array of stunts at the convention

2007-03-07 10:08:56 · 11 answers · asked by dunrockin404 5

The Computer Swallowed Grandma

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!

2007-03-07 10:08:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

mother. "Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. Things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful four-letter words! You've got to take me home. Please Mama!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful. Come get me, please." "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!" Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama, he used words like dust, wash, iron, cook." "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother

2007-03-07 10:04:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Be creative

2007-03-07 09:59:16 · 22 answers · asked by bosox2312 2

what can soar but has no wings,
what can travel in a blink,
sometimes bad and sometimes great,
has a tendency to be late.

go ahead give it a try...............you have nothing 2 lose.

2007-03-07 09:58:12 · 17 answers · asked by plum_145 2

If there are 12 houses each 42' wide on a circular street all with 9' driveways 6.5'of property on both sides and there are two streets entering the circle, measuing19.8' What color is my hair?

2007-03-07 09:58:00 · 9 answers · asked by Rob 6

at his first call the woman drags him up stairs bonks his brains out then takes him downstairs gives him breakfast and puts a pound in his pocket. Confused the milkman says "what was that all about Mrs Goldstien" she answers "I asked my husband what we should do for your retirement he said F##k him give him a quid the breakfast was my idea"

2007-03-07 09:48:50 · 10 answers · asked by dunrockin404 5

i know i know i have too much tie on my hands but seriosly what?

2007-03-07 09:48:33 · 8 answers · asked by zmanzono 2

2007-03-07 09:47:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clem and Joe work in a coal mine. At the end of the day, Clem and Joe come out of the mine and say good-bye. Clem's face is dirty and Joe's face is clean. As they leave Joe wipes his face and Clem doesn't bother. Why?

2007-03-07 09:47:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is special about the number 854917632?

2007-03-07 09:42:30 · 11 answers · asked by hollyblue_15 2

All of the sudden a Genie appeared: "Paddy, you've been a good man! Although, I can't get you off this island, I can give you threewishes to ease your lonliness. What would you like?"

Paddy: "Oh what a glorious day! Thank you kind sir! First, I would like a companion, the most beautiful Irish lass that ever trod the earth, with a nice healthy rack!" POOF-Maureen O'Hara appears (w/ a nice set). "Wow, I'm impressed!"
Genie: "Now, for your second wish?"
Paddy: " How about a pint of Guiness that never empties" POOF-A pint appears. "Oh, my- I must try this right now" Paddy drinks it up and sure enough the pint immediately refills itself. "Amazing!", Paddy says.
Genie: "And, for your third wish?"
Paddy: " That was so good, I'll just take another one of these"

2007-03-07 09:42:21 · 4 answers · asked by lkrhtr70 4

There was a man he saw a pretty girl on the beach. So he **** you went up to her and said "Baby, are you from Tennisee? Cause you the only 10 i see.

2007-03-07 09:40:42 · 11 answers · asked by babycakes_rocks 3

FUN THINGS 2 DO WHILE WAITING 4 A FREE TOILET CUBICLE
start crossing ur legs&squirm desperately,while edging ur way closer2the person next2u.
go2the hand towel dispenser&yank a whole heap out&deistribute them around,charging a dollar per wad.
get down on ur hands&knees&start peering under the cubicle doors,calling our gleefully,'I can see you!'
shake hands with everyone in line&tell them this is ur 4th visit 2day.
frown,sigh,&mutter,'Gotta go, gotta go!'then pause,grimace,&say'Oops!'
Talk about the new brand of toilet paper u have discovered.
get out ur lunch&start eating.
2vampire bats are hanging in a tree just before dawn,when1says2the other,'Did u hear that?my belly just rumbled.i've gotta get some more food.'his pal tells him that it is far too dangerous as the sun will be up soon,but he promises to be quick&takes off.within a minute,he's back on the branch,blood dripping from his mouth.'That was quick,where did u go?'asks his pal in astonishment.'c that tree?''yes' ididnt

2007-03-07 09:40:15 · 7 answers · asked by Rosenrot_663 2

How many miles do you think are inbetween WASHINGTON and MAINE! i bet youll come close! just guess to the nearest thouand!

2007-03-07 09:31:40 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

what gets bigger as you take away from it and smaller when you add to it? this may be to hard for some it's ok if it is we can't all be smart lol

2007-03-07 09:30:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous