Whats a good joke?

Question

I love to laugh so if u have any jokes tell me them and i will choose the funniest one as the best answer!

Answer 1

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in

the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30

minutes.The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a

ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to

put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and

knock

the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls

off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The

bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the

back of the van."



He hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks

the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

Answer 2

Blonde Joke

>>A blonde walks into a barber shop ( wearing headphones). "The barber says sorry mam your gonna have to take those off" she grabs them and screams, then she runs out.
>>Then the next day the same thing happens.
>>On the third day the barber Says "fu** it" and stats to cut her hair with the headphones on then he rips them off. She falls over Dead. He puts the headphones to his ears and Head "Breath in, Breath out".
>> THE END

Answer 3

Ok I have 2 jokes,

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up you’re A*se!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

____________________________________________________

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

Additional Details

6 days ago
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages
to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on...very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together
without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of
eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped
on a duck."

Answer 4

I bought a Book named "Dogs are barking"..300 pages were in it..

when i started reading the book... from the 1st page till the last...it was written on everyline.... after the title that..
"Dogs are barking"
bhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoobhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoobhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoobhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoo...............................bhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoobhao bho bhoo bhao bhoo bhao bhoo........lolz