Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

3 guys go to a motel for a convention. They decide to share a room to save money. The room is $30, so they all pay $10. After they pay and go to their room the desk clerk realizes he did not give them the appropriate rate. The rate for the conventioners is $25. The clerk gives the bellboy $5 and tells him to take it to the guys. The bellboy does not know how to divide $5 evenly 3 ways so he gives each of them $1 and keeps $2 as a tip. Now each guys has paid $9 for the room. So, 9 x 3 is $27. Add the $2 the bellboy kept is $29. Where is the other dollar??

2007-03-07 14:54:25 · 23 answers · asked by ns_conductor_29m 1

plz...provide me jokes......website....i wanna collect jokes....

2007-03-07 14:51:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

" Do i want the one with jelly filling..or without"??

2007-03-07 14:44:33 · 17 answers · asked by sugar_n_spice 5

LOST ;)

2007-03-07 14:43:04 · 16 answers · asked by sugar_n_spice 5

I couldn't get this. My 6th grade teacher told us this riddle at the beginning of the year and I still dont get it, but I want to prove him wrong that I know this riddle can you help me out? A female named Phoebe walked through the front door everyday and she would count before she walked out. One day she forgot to count and she reached a ghastly death. How did she die?

2007-03-07 14:38:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-07 14:36:27 · 10 answers · asked by ad_sessionrd 2

A friend of mine just emailed this to me so i thought i'll share it with you.

Only a GEORGIAN could think of this... from the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Savannah, Georgia. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

2007-03-07 14:28:13 · 5 answers · asked by Dream_Catcher 4

3 men need a place to stay for a night. They find a hotel and ask the nightman about the price, he says £30 a night for one room, so each man scrapes together £10, they then go up to the room and decides who should sleep where. In the morning the owner of the hotel realises they'e been overcharged by £5. Obviously he can't share £5 between 3 people, so he gives them £1 each and saves £2 pound for himself. (Everyone's happy then)

Each man therefore payed £9 (£27 all together)
The hotel owner keeps £2

Altogether thats £29......so where did the other £1 go?

2007-03-07 14:16:26 · 11 answers · asked by Lifeless Energy 5

If you are a blond female, hold the Alt key down and then tap the F4 key. Don't even bother answering this question.

2007-03-07 14:11:53 · 6 answers · asked by Jack Me Up 1

So you have somewhere to hang an air freshener.

2007-03-07 14:11:14 · 16 answers · asked by THE VIOLATER 1

I love being blonde & don't take offence to blonde jokes at all, but this one is our revenge:

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The
car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and
everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for
the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at
the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies.."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

At last, a smart blonde joke!

2007-03-07 14:10:57 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you reverse the digits on this three-digit number, it will have 4 hundreds,9 tens,and 7 ones.What is the original number?

2007-03-07 14:01:31 · 3 answers · asked by Yahoo! 2

And it better be so good that I 'll really laugh out loud. That's kind of what I'm expecting out of the best joke you ever heard. I'm open for anything! But, I better easily understand it or you will have to give an expanation. I like long jokes. DO NOT GIVE ME A LINK!

2007-03-07 14:01:11 · 5 answers · asked by Tiful K. 2

WITH A CROWBAR..

2007-03-07 14:00:51 · 10 answers · asked by THE VIOLATER 1

A guy was in his car with his girlfriend. He wants to have sex with her, but she refuses. Finally, he tells her "Come on, girl. I won't put it all in." And she agrees. "Not all the way, ok? It's a promise." She says. The guy accepts. He goes all the way. The girl starts to like it, and starts screaming. Then she says, "put it all in! put it all in!"
To try and save his own pride, the guy says "No, a promise is a promise."

2007-03-07 13:55:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

What do elephants have for dinner?

An hour-just like all the other animals.

2007-03-07 13:55:13 · 5 answers · asked by THE VIOLATER 1

1. Symphon 2. timing tim ing

3. agb

4. night fly

5. at the . of on

6. dothepe

7. strich groound (it is really small, idk if that helps?)

8. lu cky

9. worl

10. the x way

11. word YYY

12. go off coc

13. no ways it ways (this one is also small)

14. 1 at 3:46

15. a chance n

16. wheather




17. lo ose

18. y fireworks

19.
World
World
World
World

20.
L
D
Bridge

2007-03-07 13:43:37 · 14 answers · asked by x0hxbemyescape 2

Give me some good jokes and u will get 10 points!

2007-03-07 13:42:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never
let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the
Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as
marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

2007-03-07 13:33:37 · 16 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

unto the fullest...or the seecreep
pink floyds commin to get you................

2007-03-07 13:27:23 · 6 answers · asked by amri 5

2007-03-07 13:11:03 · 25 answers · asked by dodfish99 2

What is it?

2007-03-07 13:03:23 · 8 answers · asked by kissaled 5

One day a 2nd grade class was learning about the current war in Iraq. "Does anyone know the defination of war?" the Teacher asked. A little girl rose up and said, "Wrong and regretful"

How did she come up with that conclusion?

2007-03-07 13:02:26 · 11 answers · asked by *Ninja w/ awesome pirate powers* 3

i don't mind any jokes....anything thats funny plz

2007-03-07 13:02:10 · 19 answers · asked by Lone Hunter 4

If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, will it still make a sound?
I believe that it does. I was wondering if you did or didn't, and why. I am also using this for a report in school, so please help me out!!!!

2007-03-07 12:36:45 · 25 answers · asked by .:Feliciano:. 3

you have a bag and 2 doughnuts. how many doughnuts are in the bag?

2007-03-07 12:34:25 · 21 answers · asked by Melinda N 2

ok i heard this a couple days ago

i got sum F's on my report and went back to the teacher's office and said throw some d's on it.

^^i dont get the joke

2007-03-07 12:22:27 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'll pick the person who gets the right answer first as the best answer...
what is 6-8 inches long, goes in and and out of your mouth, and lives white stuff around your mouth?

2007-03-07 12:19:30 · 24 answers · asked by Kathrine 1

2007-03-07 12:16:48 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was a kentuckian and an ohioian driving along the road and the kentuckyian said"look man i think i have to go to the restroom."
the ohioian said"well which one?"
and he replied"i think its bad"
and the ohioian said"oh well i will pull over and you can go over than hill but wipe with a dollar"
so the kentuckian went and came back.
the ohioian starts sniffing and says"uhh man i thought i told you to wipe with a dollar?"
and the kuntuckian said"i did!i wiped with 2 quarters 2 nickels and a dime!"

2007-03-07 12:15:52 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous