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Give me some good jokes and u will get 10 points!

2007-03-07 13:42:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

5 answers

an escaped convict breaks out of jail and goes to a nearby house looking for money and possibly a car when he walks in on a husband and wife in bed. he ties up the husband to a chair and leans in and kisses the wife on the neck after which he gets up and goes to the bathroom. shortly after the husband says to his wife look honey this man is an escaped convict he is dangeruos and probably hasn't seen a woman in years i saw the way he kissed you i want you to do everything he says no matter how gross be brave honey i love you after that the wife says he wasn't kissing me he was whispering he said he was gay and he thought you were kinda cute and he asked me where the vaseline was and i told him in the bathroom be brave honey i love you too.

2007-03-07 14:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by marcus g 1 · 0 0

this isn't funny but I found it @ www.ahajokes.com :
NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

2007-03-07 13:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ariel Mermaid 3 · 0 0

Do black ppl have nightmares?
who knows we shot the only one that had a dream

A poll was taken in the US if illegal immagration across the border was a problem. 35% said yes it is 65% said no problemo senior!

Why doesn't Mexico have an olympics team?
everyone that can run, jump, and swim is across the border

How do you find the population of Mexico City? Roll a penny down a hill.How do you find the richest person in Mexico? find the person that got the penny

What do you call black ppl runnin down a hill?mudslide
White ppl? avalanche
Mexicans? there are 2 answers air pollution and jailbreak


What do you call a black man driving an airplane?
A PILOT YOU RACIST!!!!!!!

2007-03-07 13:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Lone Hunter 4 · 0 3

what did katrina say to the coconut tree ?
Hold on to your nuts this aint your average ********

2007-03-07 14:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

what is green and can dance?





elvis parsley

2007-03-07 13:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by Andy Warhol 1 · 0 0

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