A Nice Sense of Humour yes ????

Question

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
then
the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never
let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the
Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as
marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Answer 1

Ha! that's a good one... u know, people should be coming up with jokes like those instead of the cruddy ones you hear all the time. Where'd u get that one from? ha im still laughing. i gotta show ppl this one. lol thanks

Answer 2

Hi

Answer 3

of direction what sturdy is a extraordinarily face without the character to experience. All adult males like a women persons they might sense confortable and be theirself around its much less annoying for them to try this as quickly as the girl has a humorousness.

Answer 4

Great! Thanx 4 sharing!

Answer 5

And to think I only flew qantas yesterday.
Thanks

Answer 6

you did save the best for laugh that joke was great

Answer 7

man that was so funny thank u so much u reallycheered me up

Answer 8

o thats so hilarious I'm crying over here lol

Answer 9

OMG That is so funny!
Thanks for the laughs!
:)

Answer 10

That's pretty funny!