Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

Okay, you put a glass of water on the ceiling and use a broom to hold it up. (Make sure its a plastic cup). Tell your victim that you can make the cup stick to the celing but you need to get something so you ask them to hold the broom on the cup. They hold the broom but then you 'get what you need' and never come back. So they are stuck with the cup on the ceiling and they can't move or else the water will spill on them. If they move the broom SPLASH! they're wet. Is this a good prank??

2007-03-07 09:29:36 · 17 answers · asked by Bob 3

It sleeps but is awake, it woks and yet its lazy, you can control it but its controling you, without it you are nothing............go ahead take a guess!!!!

2007-03-07 09:26:50 · 17 answers · asked by plum_145 2

sheep can't cook!!!

2007-03-07 09:21:02 · 19 answers · asked by lkrhtr70 4

Please tell me jokes, story jokes. Best one gets 10 points. Oh and after your joke, please explain. If you can't do a story joke you may just do any joke. Ad please explain too cause sometimes i don't undersand.

P.S roddles are open, oh and please give answers to riddles

2007-03-07 09:16:15 · 3 answers · asked by babycakes_rocks 3

brothers and sisters i have none but this man's father is my father's son? can you figure it out?

2007-03-07 09:12:08 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

2007-03-07 09:08:33 · 3 answers · asked by Joshua P 1

Guy jumps out a plane and his chute fails to open, as he hurtles to earth trying to get it to work he sees a guy hurtling upwards on a white box...he shouts hoy mate know anything about parachutes...the guy replies nawwwww....do you know anything about gas cookers....Lol!!

2007-03-07 09:04:50 · 10 answers · asked by William C 2

Irish sailor died on board so they decided to bury him at sea, 3 sailors died trying to dig the grave.

2007-03-07 08:51:57 · 11 answers · asked by William C 2

What is greater then God, More evil then the Devil what poor people have and what rich people want?

2007-03-07 08:40:22 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young man, shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.
If he stopped, she stopped.
Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout,& she turned to him & said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good-Bye,Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Good Bye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, & smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much....?
I only bought 5 items...?"
The clerk replied,"Yeah, but your mother said you'd be paying for her things,too."

Don't Trust Little Old Ladies!!!!

2007-03-07 08:37:16 · 28 answers · asked by Nancy M 7

2007-03-07 08:34:32 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion
or politics, agreed is between heaven and earth?
3. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

2007-03-07 08:33:07 · 6 answers · asked by glitters 2

This old man, with a wooden eye, walks in a bar. He spots this pretty spry lookin' old broad with a hairlip. he drinks a couple of beers and asks her if she wants to dance. she turns toward him and dreamingly says " wouldn'd I" the man looks at her carefully and, disgusted, yells out, " HAIR LIP, HAIR LIP"!!!
Well, waddaya think?

2007-03-07 08:26:38 · 1 answers · asked by chris j 7

Hy i'm italian and i often see in american movies/cartoons that someone says Knock-knock and the other says "who is it?" somebody told me it's a joke, can you explain me plz coz i don't get it..

2007-03-07 08:21:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

My 4yr old would just love that. He likes to hide around the house and "scare" me and my hubby. I wouldn't want anything too scary. We saw it on home video show on tv, and thot we'd try it.

2007-03-07 08:12:21 · 5 answers · asked by drsmom2004 2

What can bury a bone without digging a hole,
and bleed for days but not die?

2007-03-07 08:11:50 · 20 answers · asked by Metal 4

i mean its like why are you asking about toast in the jokes section, whats the problem the worlds not going to end no one has died , get a grip if ya dnt like the quetion dnt answer it move on to the next one

2007-03-07 08:10:07 · 19 answers · asked by kaye j 3

A Policeman, Fireman, Carpenter, Bricklayer, Military, Electrician or Plumber or your average Joe? Why??? Please connect your answers w/their profession

2007-03-07 08:03:59 · 5 answers · asked by momof3 5

i know four animals but if u know more just post them
men no offense plz :)

2007-03-07 08:03:51 · 6 answers · asked by ♥ 3

2007-03-07 08:03:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Best joke gets 10 points.

2007-03-07 07:58:56 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

i got one
Yo momma is so fat.....that the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs.

2007-03-07 07:58:15 · 6 answers · asked by cexymama696969 3

A richwoman passed away and willed all her money to her grandchildren and her children. At the end of the will she stated that she had her most important thing to give-- her precious diamond. Here is the clue she left: She wrote "it's in a cylinder surrounded by a thousand squares." One grandchild said, "I know where it is" and found it. Where was it?

2007-03-07 07:54:59 · 13 answers · asked by Sara L 1

-I think there's a huge conspiracy with the news media. They murder people and commit other crimes so that they can always have stories.

-Dying defeats the purpose of living.

-Lying is a key to survival.

-Virgins just don't know what they're missing!

-What's all this jibberish about people having to find themselves? Don't they realize all they need is a compass, a map, or a GPS system?

-I'm a gambler; my needs are simple. All I need is a pair of dice, and I'm in paradise!

-All a passport really says is that someone was able to PASS through all the security at the airPORT.

2007-03-07 07:52:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

No really someone help me out here!!! im sooo confused!!! Find the error. It's impossible!

AAA
BBB
CCC
DDD
EEE
FFF
GGG
HHH
III
JJJ
KKK
LLL
MMM
NNN
OOO
PPP
QQQ
RRR
SSS
TTT
UUU
VVV
WWW
XXX
YYY
ZZZ

Did you know that 80% of UCSD students could not find the error above?

2007-03-07 07:45:59 · 21 answers · asked by unruly_1 2

No, it is not spongebob or gary...

2007-03-07 07:31:08 · 16 answers · asked by mjolnir1174293 2

2007-03-07 07:30:25 · 17 answers · asked by jon jay 87 2

chinese man rings his boss.
"me no work i sick"
boss says"when i'm sick,i f#ck my wife.try that"
2HRS later chinese man rings back
"me better.you got nice house!"

2007-03-07 07:29:50 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 time this guy wuz on his last year of hi skool. unfortunately he still had 2 share a room w/ his brother of 9 yrs of age. 1night he decided 2 take his girlfriend 2 his house 4 sum fun. him n his brother had bunk beds.he noticed his brother wuz on the bottom bed asleep. so him n his g/f got on the top bunk bed.then things started gettin hot. then he remembers his brother is asleep on the bottom bed so he tells his g/f 2 say lettuce if she wants him 2 hit it harder n tomato if she wants him 2 take a new position. so she goes lettuce!! tomato!! lettuce!! tomato!! lettuce!! tomato!! she screamed lettuce!! tomato!! ahh!! take it out!! take it out right now!! i can't get pregnant!!then the brother goes"hey could yall stop makin sandwiches up there?!! yall rgettin mayonese all over my face!*!*!*!*!

2007-03-07 07:27:01 · 10 answers · asked by Adi 2

this poem was written by an african child:
when i born,i born black
when i grow up,i black
when i go in sun,i black
when i scared,i black
when i sick,i black
& when i die,i still black.
and u white fella......
when u born,u pink
when u grow up,u white
when u go in sun,u red
when u cold,u blue
when u scared,u yellow
when u sick,u green
& when u die,u grey.
AND U F##KING CALL ME COLOURED!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-07 07:23:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous