Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

And George Michael have in common ?

They both get sucked off in bogs !

2007-03-27 09:53:41 · 5 answers · asked by Joe Ninety 2

can anybody tell me some great easy pranks to play on people?

2007-03-27 09:51:34 · 5 answers · asked by roller coaster lover 1

the answer is here but not all that clear,what bad people do with a knife,or when people drink an accoholic red drink,they need to wash there hands in a sink because there red,they are mad in the head,when they do this someone is dead you might need a mirrow to drink
hint:get a mirro for a accohalic red drink that is red(you may need to be smart even thogh its easy just worded hard)rate this 1-10

2007-03-27 09:50:13 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

To figure out what the chicken was thinking..... Was the crossing necessary to it's existence, was it an historic event, what else could the chicken have done.?

What kind of chicken was this....... Was the chicken mexican?

2007-03-27 09:42:33 · 15 answers · asked by luxlugger 1

get a sheep,wolf and bail of hay across the river only one can go at a time and you cant leave the sheep an wolf alone or they will eat each other or the bail of hay and sheep get it so easy i figered this out while i was in dippers

2007-03-27 09:40:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

HA! i just watched Eddie Griffin crash into the side of a wall with someone elses ferrari and i couldn't help but chuckle a bit and then feel sorry for him! it's a good thing he has money .. cause if it was me.. well i would be a HOBO !!

2007-03-27 09:35:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Dear IT Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

2007-03-27 09:35:19 · 14 answers · asked by Jay A 3

A guy takes his ill and ageing wife in to the doctor's office.

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers or AIDS."

"What do you mean!" The guy says, "Can't you tell the
difference?"

"Well, says the Doc, the two look a lot alike in the early
stages ... tell you what to do, drive her way out into the
country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way
back, don't have sex with her anymore!"

2007-03-27 09:29:23 · 7 answers · asked by Jay A 3

he was fat and round and had no bounds on bumping off the misses, he loved the kisses and had many p!sses from all the lager he downed from under that jewel incrusted crown.. name thee and thy wives and u shall gain 10 points!

(this is the second time ive posted, the first time it didnt get put up!!! so b a pal and answer for me would ya)

2007-03-27 09:26:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

He asked us to use the word "had" six times in a row in a sentence and have it make sense and be legitimate sentence. I still have yet to figure this out. Can anyone figure it out?

2007-03-27 09:18:54 · 19 answers · asked by Mai Ke 1

i dont get this aight yesterday i went to go take my driving test and the lady workin there ask do u read english or in spanish and after i left and was drivin home i was lookin at all the signs and they were all in english

but anyways my point is if u cant read in english then how are u gonna be able to read the signs

2007-03-27 09:14:50 · 11 answers · asked by jazz 2

(We, Us) basketball players have a hard time finding boys tall enough to dance with.

Our grandfather knitted sweaters for Lila and (she, her).

In the space provided, write PE beside sentences that contain pronoun errors. Write C beside sentences that use pronouns correctly. Then cross out each pronoun error and write the correction above it.

On Sunday morning, many families stop at the diner after they have been to church. __________

My father's habit of eating about a dozen fried eggs a week is bad for you. __________

Neither Thelma nor Donna wore their own clothes to the party. __________

I know from the fit that (these, these here) slacks aren't mine

2007-03-27 08:41:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said - "Well yeah, if that's what they are, I never heard of circle flies".

So the farmer says- "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, " Hey---wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ***?"

The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ***." The Trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

2007-03-27 08:40:48 · 25 answers · asked by dianemelloniemarlenejerryginder 3

A blonde was driving in her new BMW, when suddenly she took a turn on a red light, and smashed into a Ferrari convertible. The Ferrari is totalled, yet the blonde's car is left without a scratch. The Ferrari's driver steps out with a crowbar in his hands. He yells at the blonde, draws a circle with chalk on the sidewalk, and tells her that if she moves one inch out of the circle, he's going to pound her. The man then turns around and starts to smash the car doors. He hears a giggle behind him, he turns around and yells at her to stop laughing. He then smashes the windshield and ignores the giggling behind him. The car is finally totalled, and the blonde is on the ground laughing her head off.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" He asked her.

"While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

2007-03-27 08:39:26 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two guys were walking home from a party late one night, and they decided to take a shortcut through a cemetery. Halfway through, they hear a tap - tap - tapping sound, and they went to investigate. They eventually found an old man chiseling away at a headstone, and they asked the old man "You scared us to death, we thought you were a ghost!! What are you doing out here so late at night?" The old man replied "Those fools!! They misspelled my name!!"

2007-03-27 08:34:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Someone just said to me, "Earth to Alex"! Everyone laughed and so I laughed too, but I don't get the joke. I am on Earth already?

2007-03-27 08:34:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

If cornoil is made from corn,
vegetableoil from vegetables,
what's babyoil made from?
"something to ponder"- tongue in cheek!

2007-03-27 08:32:11 · 9 answers · asked by wernerk 2

and then it blew up.

2007-03-27 08:31:30 · 6 answers · asked by Shades of Green 2

2007-03-27 08:29:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

ships out at sea, one was carrying blue paint, the other was carrying red paint. They collided, and the crew was MAROONED.

2007-03-27 08:25:57 · 9 answers · asked by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7

A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were covered with clocks. He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the clocks were for. She replied that everyone in the world had a clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second. He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was told that it was Mother Terisia's. He then asked where Bill Clinton's clock was. The woman replied "It's in the kitchen, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

2007-03-27 08:25:34 · 11 answers · asked by lala 2

RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT, WHO IS AFRAID OF A BIG BLACK BAT?

2007-03-27 08:24:08 · 11 answers · asked by Darkice 3

with a laughing Hyena? That would be a Yamahahahahaha

2007-03-27 08:23:45 · 5 answers · asked by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7

Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says "Hey Doc how long till we can have s**?" The Doctor says "At least wait till he is walking Michael!!"

2007-03-27 08:23:10 · 11 answers · asked by lala 2

“Can you tell me what the temperature has been at noon for the past five days?” John asked the Weatherman.

“I don't exactly recall,” replied the weatherman, “but I do remember that the temperature was different each day, and that the product of the temperatures is 12.”

Assuming that the temperatures are expressed to the nearest degree, what were the five temperatures?

2007-03-27 08:19:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-27 08:17:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

i have a hubby whose name is jim,
i just love to lob tomatoes at him,
tomatoes are soft and dont hurt the skin,
but these do, cos they're still in the tin.

2007-03-27 08:16:36 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-27 08:16:36 · 13 answers · asked by momomo 2

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get
paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom
and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming, too. I

want to see how you're going to live on £800 a year".

2007-03-27 08:12:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-27 08:12:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous