Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, and the end of every place?

2007-03-27 03:56:33 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

It was a white snowy day,

The schools were closed,

The children were out to play,

But Then Came The big Evil snowplow.


The driver was an angry, scary guy,

He had big bushy brows, with scary little eyes,

The children were scared, some of them even cried,

As they saw the big evil snowplow.


He looked like he was getting ready to start plowing,

The children were throwing snowballs at him,

It didn't work but at least they were trying,

But then stopped the big evil snowplow.


The children were scared, as the driver stepped outside,

He went to the back and reached for something,

Then he came with a shovel, right by his side,

Now getting further from the big evil snowplow.


He approached the kids, not looking like that old angry man,

He stuck that shovel in the snow,

"Let's make a happy white snowman",

Said the nice man from the big evil snowplow.


Don't judge people from appearances as you may know,

People can be very nice even if they look really low,

Always look at their heart not what their faces show,

A great example is the man from the Big Evil Snowplow.

2007-03-27 03:47:54 · 4 answers · asked by aj r 2

A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

2007-03-27 03:43:01 · 9 answers · asked by Katie S 3

An older jewish woman's husband just died. To have some fun she went to the beach to relax. A man about the same age put a towel next to hers and began to read. She wanted to start a conversation so she started something simple, " Beautiful day isn't it," she said. The young man agreed and they started talking. She found out that he was a widower to. She wanted to keep the conversation going so she said something simple, "Do you like pussycats?". As soon as she said that the man ripped off their bathing suits and made love right on the beach. "How'd you know thats what I wanted?" she asked. "How'd you know my name was Kats?"

2007-03-27 03:39:28 · 5 answers · asked by The warlock. 2

2007-03-27 03:32:22 · 18 answers · asked by tracindarella 1

Scientists have proven that married women live longer than married men. Because they aren't married to women.

2007-03-27 03:32:04 · 17 answers · asked by Smart_Guy 4

I dig out tiny caves,
and store gold and silver in them.
I build bridges out of silver,
Make crowns out of gold,
But everyone is afraid of me
Even the young and old.
Who am I?

2007-03-27 03:30:06 · 12 answers · asked by Alice 3

2007-03-27 03:22:09 · 11 answers · asked by Brandon F 1

George walked for thirty minutes in the pouring rain without getting a single hair on his head wet. He didn't have a hat or an umbrella and his coat had no hood.
How did he do that?

2007-03-27 03:21:04 · 12 answers · asked by Alice 3

Rumours that bin Laden was dead were confused last night after al Jazeera broadcast a video in which the al Qaida leader said that West Ham had played absolute c**p for the last three games.

Intelligence sources dismissed the claims, saying that the tape could heve been made any time in the last two years.

2007-03-27 03:20:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

i can read it lol can u?
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid, too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe tuo fo 100 anc.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

2007-03-27 03:19:30 · 33 answers · asked by Smart_Guy 4

Scientists have proven that cats have more hair on one side then their other side. Some people believe that this is because when cats laydown they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a cat has more hair?

2007-03-27 03:18:18 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The
father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in
the water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw
ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes
back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

Mom says, "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes
back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and
the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

2007-03-27 03:15:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their politics or religion, agree is between heaven and earth?

2007-03-27 03:10:34 · 12 answers · asked by Katie S 3

This one is interesting!!!

The link -
http://creepyone.rediffblogs.com

Try not to use the net

2007-03-27 03:04:14 · 3 answers · asked by lokesh_timpu 2

1)How are a jeweler and a jailer alike?
2)How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of bricks?
3)How many animals did MOSES take on the ark?
4) If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chick will hatch??

~~~HAVE FUN~~~

2007-03-27 02:58:17 · 16 answers · asked by Katie S 3

what has six faces but wears no mask

2007-03-27 02:50:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish,she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That
will make your husband the richest man in the world."That's okay, because
what'mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman
in
the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a
mild heart attack."

2007-03-27 02:49:17 · 10 answers · asked by julia1975 4

He has married many women, but he has never been married. Who is he?

2007-03-27 02:47:34 · 10 answers · asked by Katie S 3

I don't just know how to screw this bulb, I don't know how to bring it pleasure. please help me screw my bulb. Thanks!!

2007-03-27 02:47:19 · 7 answers · asked by Andrew O 2

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish,she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That
will make your husband the richest man in the world."That's okay, because
what'

2007-03-27 02:47:14 · 2 answers · asked by julia1975 4

2007-03-27 02:43:14 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A middle age woman was rushed to the hospital after suffering a heart attack,while on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing god she asks "is my time up?" god replies "no you still have 35 years,4 months and 6 days left."

So after the op she decides to stay at the hospital for more surgery,she had liposuction,tummy tuck,and her breasts lifted she also asked on of the nurses to change the colour of her hair.

So when she finally leaves the hospital she is walking home is struck by a car and killed outright, well she is pissed right !

She gets to heaven and says to god "why didn't you pull me out of the way of that car ?" god replies"sorry i didn't recognise you."

lol star if funny

2007-03-27 02:42:24 · 1 answers · asked by thewokinn 1

In ireland and its 14.32 and im bored at work...where are you and what time is it???

2007-03-27 02:33:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

GUY: I prefer 68.
GAL: What's that?
GUY: You do me, and I'll owe you one.

2007-03-27 02:20:49 · 7 answers · asked by stefanocurione 2

ok first with correct answer gets the points so we could be here 2 secs or a year lol

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room what will eventually happen???????????

goodluck
mizzp xx

2007-03-27 02:17:13 · 9 answers · asked by MizzPinkDiamond 2

Good afternoon people!
I'm in central england and I have a maths lesson at 3:10pm.

Sigh...

are you having fun though?
loveya peeps ;D

2007-03-27 02:12:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

3 GUYS RENT A HOTEL ROOM ITS 30 BUCKS SO THEY PAY 10 EACH THE HOST GOES TO THE MANAGER TELLS THEM HOW MUCH THEY PAYED AND WHAT ROOM THERE IN AND HE TELLS THE HOST THAT IT IS ONLY 25 A NIGHT AND THE GIVE THEM BACK THE 5 DOLLERS SO ON THE WAY TO THE ROOM THE BELL HOP AKA HOST KEEPS 2 DOLLERS AND ONLY GIVES THEM BACK 1 EACH SO THEN THEY ONLY PAYED 9 OUT OF POCKET RIGHT WELL WHATS 9+9+9 IT EQUALS 27 RIGHT PLUS THE BELL HOPS AKA HOST 2 DOLLERS ONLY EQUALS 29 WERE DID THE OTHER DOLLER GO

2007-03-27 01:57:15 · 15 answers · asked by Yo 1

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who

seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me

over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo,

so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a

Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a

beat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I

outrank you. Trayt up *****!

2007-03-27 01:56:50 · 14 answers · asked by ambidextrous25 3

baby,what between your legs? my heartbeats? my tears?my dreams?....what?

2007-03-27 01:53:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous