Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

Paddy sed the mick give me to days starting with the letter t he sed today and tomorrow. was that funny?

2007-01-21 00:57:28 · 18 answers · asked by philip k 1

a man dressed in black. They nod to each other and the man in white closes the door. He waits for a minute and then opens the door again. The man in black has gone. He waits for a minute and opens the door and the man in black is there. The man in white ask's. Where did you go? The man in black says "nowhere. I havn.t moved from this spot" and he is telling the truth. How can it be?

2007-01-21 00:47:05 · 12 answers · asked by oracle 1

Did you here about the irish firing squad? they formed a circle. was that funny?

2007-01-21 00:35:57 · 7 answers · asked by philip k 1

2007-01-21 00:09:13 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

that can be notified by any one

2007-01-21 00:02:15 · 12 answers · asked by chintan k 1

ok guys i dont tell jokes but im going to try here it goes..............

you remember the smurfs right well. do you know which one recycles??????...................

2007-01-20 23:55:20 · 12 answers · asked by littlebabystorms 1

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring a lazy cajun..."

He decided to set a test for Boudreaux, hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without any problems.

The boss asked , "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and draws three oak trees.
The boss, "What the hell's that?”
Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n' tree 'n' tree makes nine."

The boss says,
"Fair enough." "Second question, same rules, but this time represent 99."

Boudreaux makes a smudge on each tree.
""How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
Boudreaux says,
"Each tree is dirty now! so it's dirty tree, 'n' dirty tree, 'n' dirty tree...dat's 99!"

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire him, & says,
"All right, same rules, this time represent the number 100."

Boudreaux then makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and say,
"Dere ya go, 100."
" Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred."
Boudreaux points to the marks at the tree bases, and says,
"A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got,
dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, an dirty tree an' a turd, which makes a hundred! So when can I start workin'?

2007-01-20 23:54:32 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-20 23:51:20 · 6 answers · asked by ciscoan 5

what do you eat, that you throw away the inside, and throw away the outside, and then throw away the inside???????

2007-01-20 23:25:12 · 8 answers · asked by littlebabystorms 1

...so the barman gives her one!

2007-01-20 23:17:39 · 10 answers · asked by Chrisssy 2

2007-01-20 22:51:29 · 13 answers · asked by Chrisssy 2

2007-01-20 22:41:23 · 19 answers · asked by memododo14 1

and wouldnt have to work the rest of your days....what would you do or say on your last day at work? (I like how Wanda Sykes handled it on her show where she thought she won the lotto...thats how I would go down

2007-01-20 22:37:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I saw this parrot, check it out it's unbelievable!

http://www.boredtodeath.co.uk/ani217.php

2007-01-20 22:36:43 · 12 answers · asked by The Boss 2

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.''
The brother thought about it and apologized.
"So how's Mom?" asked the man.
"She's on the roof and won't come down."

2007-01-20 22:30:02 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man stands in an open ground on a rainy day.And lightning occurs frequently and he keeps smiling.a man puzzled by it asks him why he is smiling and he says "Dont you know.I am being photographed"HAHAHAHA What a joke.

2007-01-20 22:29:33 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"


A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out rude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. I'ts because of you that I have to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."
"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn'tmean to hurt your feelings." "Shut Up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"

2007-01-20 22:28:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-20 22:27:24 · 4 answers · asked by profeSSSSor 2

Every I drink Alcohol, I get wobbly on my feet, my speech gets slurred and I'm sometimes sick. The next morning I have a terrible headache and sensitivity to bright lights which sometimes lasts well into the afternoon. Am I alergic to Alcohol?

2007-01-20 22:25:20 · 8 answers · asked by Chrisssy 2

a man goes to the doctors,say's he's been feeling like a cowboy,
the doctor asked "how long you been feeling like that for"
the man replies about a YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2007-01-20 22:24:12 · 16 answers · asked by prince 2

have the same birthday, same year, and the same parents...but they're not twins. How is that?

2007-01-20 22:11:55 · 12 answers · asked by Sam I Am 3

If you attempt it, you will get punished...but if you succeed, they won't do anything.

2007-01-20 21:59:25 · 9 answers · asked by Sam I Am 3

A cows pack looks so inviting as you cross those green country fields so in july last year I dared my 14 year old niece to take her shoes off and step in a cows pack. Guess what! she refused, so I took off my shoes and showed how it was done. It was quiet fresh and my toes and feet sunk into the gooee mess. After proving myself I then reminded my neice that I was six foot four and built like a brick wall and ordered her to to remove her shoes and do likewise, Guess what! she refused, It was time to show who was boss. ''Ok then'' I said and walked up to her while she was screaming about the smell of my feet. I grabbed her took her shoes off and plummeted her into the mire. My wfe then joined in on my neice's side causing me and my neice to fall into several other cow packs causing us to become covered head to toe. Do you think that was immature of my wife to cause such an occurance?. luckely there was a stream near by. My car stank for days after.

2007-01-20 21:42:17 · 12 answers · asked by Redmonk 6

A guy sitting at the bar hears someone yell "36!" Then the whole place busts out laughing. A little while later, he hears someone else yell "17!" Again the whole place breaks out in laughter. He asks the bartender, "What's going on?" The bartender says, "We've all known each other so long and we know each other's jokes, so instead of telling the whole joke, we just call out the number and everyone knows what it is." So the man yells out "93!" The place erupts with more laughter. He asks, "What's so funny?" The bartender says, "We've never heard that one before."

2007-01-20 21:29:21 · 14 answers · asked by Sam I Am 3

2007-01-20 21:11:44 · 23 answers · asked by Mr Mojo Risin 4

2007-01-20 20:56:07 · 18 answers · asked by cuteypie 2

A man lies dead on a beach. All he has is his clothes. The only thing on the beach with him is a rock. How did he die?

p.s. he wasn't starving or beaten up or anything like that.

2007-01-20 20:37:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-20 20:33:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-20 20:16:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

you gotta give me stupid answer. Example: "Try not looking up your nose so often"...idk make up something funny. The ones worthy get thumbs up from me.

2007-01-20 20:16:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous