Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

32 white horses gallop in all directions an inch they move and not inch farther. Up, down, side to side what are these white horses? Please do not answer horses.
Try and guess what book it comes from?

What creature crawls on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and 3 feet at night?
Think out of the box please

2007-01-26 05:43:40 · 7 answers · asked by Fastdog 2

tell the blind man that the deaf man took away his wife.

2007-01-26 05:38:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was watching an epsiode of "My Wife and Kids" and Katie's class was doing a play and all the kids were saying this same joke, "you put the peanut in the peanut hole" and then they would crack up laughing...but I don't get it.

2007-01-26 05:32:54 · 10 answers · asked by missmozee 3

I was wondering if anyone can make me laugh..i prefer clear, easy to understand jokes...not ones like "the guy and the wife were in a fight..so he told her to wake up in the mroning..." i don't like jokes like that because i don't understand them. OR, do something that you think will cheer me up. anything goes.. i will be grateful.

I feel depressed. thank you.

2007-01-26 05:30:58 · 8 answers · asked by A Girl 4

he didnt have the guts wat do u think about tht joke

2007-01-26 05:29:32 · 16 answers · asked by Emedi E 2

answer correctly and I will award you with best answer

2007-01-26 05:29:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Joke: Woman wearing robe
Posted on January 25, 2007 10:00 PM, Filed under Jokes

Dave rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, a very attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

Dave smiles at the young woman and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Dave breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."

He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off.

Now completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

The flustered and embarrassed Dave stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, its got to be your ears!"

Astounded, she replies, "My ears? Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they are firm and don't sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes, or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!"

Clearing his throat once again, Dave stammers, "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? . . . That was me."

2007-01-26 05:28:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man goes to a female urologist for an exam. The female
> doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but
> this new procedure is a little different from what you are
> probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend
> your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep
> breath and say 99."
>
> The guy did as the doctor instructed and said, "99".
>
> The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and
> again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say 99."
>
> Again, the guy says, "99."
>
> The doctor said, "Very good Now then, I want you to lie on
> your back with your knees raised slightly. I am going to
> check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I
> am going to hold on to your penis.
>
> Now take a deep breath and say 99."
>
> The guy says, "One. . . two. . . three.

2007-01-26 05:22:04 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need to Settledown in Australia/New Zealand/Canada.

Please let me know some useful tips/advices/hyperlinks/websites.

will select you as a best answer!
---------------------------------------------------------
a joke too!

There was a loser who couldn`t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It`s simple. I just say, I`m a lawyer."
So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.
She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?" He said, "Why yes I am!"
So they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself.
When she asked what was so funny, he answered,"Well, I`ve only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I`m already screwing someone!"

2007-01-26 05:18:00 · 14 answers · asked by Oh My God! 6

.Four dumb blondes were in the woods around a camp fire philosophyin about life and what they think will be the fastest thing in the world

First blonde said, the fastest thing is a thought, cuz b4 u can think u already thought.

2nd blonde said, the fastest thing is a blink cuz b4 u can think of it u already blink

3rd blonde said, the fastest thing is electricity cuz when u turn on the lights the electricity has to travel very fast

The fourth blonde said all of u wrong the fastest thing is Diarrhea, cuz b4 u can think, blink, and put on the lights u already shi*!

2007-01-26 05:17:48 · 23 answers · asked by bootygirl 2

It's 2 dimes and nickel wrapped in duct tape.

2007-01-26 05:15:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

and a wheelie bin.

2007-01-26 05:12:50 · 7 answers · asked by madmum 3

What should I do now?
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that ****?"

2007-01-26 05:11:45 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

and says, "Doc, you gotta help me...I'm a Wigwam, I'm a Teepee, I'm a Wigwam, I'm a Teepee!" The Doctors says, "Just calm down, calm down, you're TWO TENTS

2007-01-26 05:07:54 · 5 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

There have been many, many times when I may have;

disturbed you

troubled you

pestered you

irritated you

bugged you

But today I just wanna tell you that


I PLAN TO CONTINUE !!!!!!!

2007-01-26 05:01:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

mine is : this guy i liked a little just liked me back as a frnd so i ddnt tell him but he told all his frnds that he knew i likd him.. he has too much pride inhimself!! (",)

2007-01-26 05:01:29 · 5 answers · asked by nouna 2

it should be from one to one thousand. i will choose a random number and choose it as a best answer.

2007-01-26 04:50:54 · 57 answers · asked by Nouni 3

what is 5+5

2007-01-26 04:43:08 · 13 answers · asked by Arber 1

Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the blacks would jump up and start dancing.

2007-01-26 04:37:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

The trimmer

Found on the Web. Shortened to fit.

Tam and Shuie, are in a bar. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through life without an education. I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes"

Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Tam goes to meet the college admin, who signs him up for math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic? What's that?"
"I'll show you. Do you own a trimmer?"
"Yes"
"Because you own a trimmer, I logically think you have a Garden"
"I've a Garden"
"Because you have a Garden, I logically think you have a house."
"I've a house"
"Because you have a house, I logically think you might have a family"
"I have a family"
"Because you have a family, I logically think you have a wife"
"I have a wife"
"Because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual"
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a trimmer"

2007-01-26 04:26:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

What begins with t ends with t and has t in it?

2007-01-26 04:25:22 · 7 answers · asked by ♣Kellina♣ 5

3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SO
EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.

A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SO
HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5.

ON THE WAY, THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY
BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR
HIMSELF.

THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTA L OF
$27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?

2007-01-26 04:22:09 · 14 answers · asked by Lg 4

You are standing in a house. Three of the walls face south. A bear walks by the window. What color is the bear? Why?

2007-01-26 04:16:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because every time they opened the lid..they found Raggedy Anne sitting on Pinnochio's nose screaming "Lie to me,Lie to me!"

Funny or not? I think it's cute.What's your favorite joke?

2007-01-26 04:13:07 · 3 answers · asked by ? 7

this will make you go wild and may even make u draw some pics of it .....

2007-01-26 04:12:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have no idea. I'd like some funny, CLEAN answers.

2007-01-26 04:05:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

n e thing i can look up on the internet or any thing funny appreciated

2007-01-26 04:00:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two women were talking and one says' To be honest I am thinking of getting a boob job'. The other says, that's nothing I'm thinking of getting my asshole bleached. To which the first replies - Woah - I can't picture your husabnd as a blonde

2007-01-26 03:53:11 · 5 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

the guy led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. 'What's that big brass gong for?' asked one of his guests. That's the talking clock. How does it work the guest enquired. The drunk picks u a big hammer and whacks the gong and produces an ear shattering noise. Suddenly someone on the other side of the wall shouts – For F**k sake, it’s 2 am in the morning ya W****r

2007-01-26 03:49:28 · 8 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

2007-01-26 03:47:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous