Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

AAARGH KELLY

2007-01-28 13:07:23 · 14 answers · asked by JUSTASKING 1

i have twenty five people running a race and then there going out for pizza. They wanna take the least amount of cars so five of them have cars that seat eight, three of them have cars that seat five and six have cars that seat six. how many runners are there?

2007-01-28 12:54:02 · 12 answers · asked by Am m 1

I have never asked for help on this riddle before. This level is ment to be easy but I must have gone to deep. Please help!

2007-01-28 12:44:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

1) "Oh my god, they've killed _____. You _______
a)tyler, butt
b)bob, f***er
c)kyle, a$$hole
d)kenny, ba$tard
2) Where are asian people from?
3) Which of the following is just plain dumb? (there is more than one!!)
a)a fat guy making $4.50 an hour
b)michael jackson
c)Scary Movie 4
d)the zune
4) How do you say "Your mom is ugly" in spanish?
5) Which one of these characters have not been at least in one episode of South Park?
a)Loogie
b)Tom Foley from the ADA
c)Michael Jackson
d)Mrs. Chokesondick
e)none of these
6) Google it or Yahoo it?
7) Finding _____
a)your mom
b)a job
c)nemo
d)none of these
8) Is "Santa" real?
9) Where is Disneyland located? (BE SPECIFIC!!)

2007-01-28 12:41:49 · 39 answers · asked by HockeyIsRadd 2

Rule 1: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

Rule 2: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

Rule 3: It is okay for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

A. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
B. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
C. After wrecking your boss' car.
D. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game" movie.
E. When she is using her teeth.

Rule 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bale a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

Rule 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever -- unless you actually marry her.

2007-01-28 12:35:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Their was a bear chasing a bunny then a genie came and said "You are the first animals I've seen in 10,000 years. I'm going to give you each three wishes" The bear went first "I wish that all the other bears in this forest were girls except me." The Bunny went second "I wish I had a helmet" The Bear went again "I wish that all the bears in this state were grils except me." The bunny asked for a motorcycle The bear wished for all the bears in the world except him were girls The bunnies finnal wish was "I wish the bear was gay" and then drove away.

2007-01-28 12:30:02 · 16 answers · asked by MzChamillinator 5

a goat is tethered to the edge of a circular field,

the field has a radius of 20 metres,

the owner of the field only wants the goat to be able to graze on half of the field,

how long should the rope be?

2007-01-28 12:07:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-28 12:06:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

im doing a survey for a hw. please be serious:)

2007-01-28 11:49:02 · 12 answers · asked by randomdood 2

who sings this song?

2007-01-28 11:44:38 · 2 answers · asked by vivalavalo 1

I usually don't. It is like amnesia for me.

2007-01-28 11:40:47 · 9 answers · asked by Ejsenstejn 2

I was working in the wines and spirits department at Asda and this oriental gent came up and asked if I could recommend a good port. I said Dover

2007-01-28 11:35:42 · 14 answers · asked by peter d 2

All jokes excepted!

Thanks

2007-01-28 11:34:33 · 12 answers · asked by Stary_989 2

a monkey piloted jet propelled rocket car in the uk ?
as close to london as possible.
thanx

2007-01-28 11:26:29 · 15 answers · asked by gundaewoo 2

In the backward country of Uphrates ,an Englishman ,a Scotsman and an Irishman are all found guilty for being drunk and disorderly.the judge sentences them all to thirty lashes across the back.Because you all pleaded guilty ,says the judge ,I will allow you all to wear one thing on your back to make the beatings less severe. First up for flogging is the scotsman. What do you want on your back says the flogger. I;ll have my old overcoat,he says .He puts on the coat and is flogged. He falls in a heap on the floor. Next up is the irishman. what do you want on your back, asks the flogger? Nothing you bastar- I can take it. He receives his flogging and also falls to the floor.Last is the englishman, Now says the flogger ,and what do you want on your back englishman? The englishman answers ...the irishman!

2007-01-28 11:23:51 · 15 answers · asked by peter d 2

think of words ending in "gry". hungry and angry are two of them. there are three words in the english language. the third word is something that you use every day and the word is mentioned in the riddle.

2007-01-28 11:21:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is a four-digit number in which
the first digit is one-third the second digit,
the third is the sum of the first and second, and
the last is three times the second?

2007-01-28 11:10:17 · 17 answers · asked by Hannah J 1

tell me some funny jokes.........i need to laugh!



and riddles...but give the answers !

2007-01-28 11:01:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-28 10:49:40 · 22 answers · asked by GhostRecon48 2

Tony Blair dies, and obviously goes to hell; the devil awaiting for him anxiously tell him that because he is such a high profile, he will have the luxury of choosing his penitence; the devil explains..
"OK Tony, there are three rooms for you to choose, feel free to look and decide which penitence you will have to do for all eternity."

Tony open the first door and sees Sadam Hussein breaking a huge rock that never ends; Tony exclaims " oh no, this is not for me".

So he checks the second room and sees Osama Bin Laden swimming in a pool with high walls, so he can never get out of it and have too keep swimming; Tony again decides that it is not what he deserves.

he opens the last room and sees George Bush sitting on a chair with his trousers down and Monika Lewinsky sucking his dic*; Tony very eagerly tells the devil "oh yeah, this is it, I believe that this is the penitence I deserve for all eternity, I choose this room", the devil smiles and says "ok Monika you are free to go"

2007-01-28 10:44:59 · 25 answers · asked by lokito 2

A man
has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of
himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home
> >and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at
> >the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
> >
> > His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts
> >right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
> >

2007-01-28 10:44:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I walked along in the woods today and came across a pig,
She told me she was very sad because no one gave a fig!
Her sty was under scrutiny,
Her Mum had lost a trotter
Her Man was very stupid
and everyone says she's a rotter!
I said, oh pig now never mind, your life was once more happy.
You will one day shine again, things will not be so crappy.
You made so many smile with your chirpy talk and
made them cross when you would beatch.
You'll make them smile again one day,
When you're a bacon sandweach!

2007-01-28 10:42:51 · 10 answers · asked by bumbleboi 6

now i'm not so sure

2007-01-28 10:42:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

What has 10 legs and 9 arms

2007-01-28 10:38:39 · 11 answers · asked by Cdy99 1

2007-01-28 10:34:21 · 8 answers · asked by cable guy 1

and the doctor says "i have your results back and i'm afraid you have AIDS and altzhimers" and the man says " it could be worse,i could have AIDS"

2007-01-28 10:28:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man asks "Are you lost?"

Boy replies "Yes"

Man says"What's your mummy like?"

Boy says "Big c0cks and Bacardi breezers!"

2007-01-28 10:26:00 · 16 answers · asked by jabelite 3

Jeanneine and two of her friends were hired to rake leaves by a neighbor. The house has a backyard and a frontyard that are the same size. The neighbor agreed to pay $60 for the entire job.

Jeanneine and one friend arrived to start at 9 a.m. By the time the third person came, the front yard was finished. All three of them finished the back yard together.

Each person must be paid based on the amount of time worked. How should the money be split between three friends?

Can someone please answer this for me? Also please include how you got the answer.
thanx

2007-01-28 10:20:15 · 9 answers · asked by Mariniac 3

Four thousand odd species.
Only two thousand six hundred are taxonomically reconized.
It is small.

2007-01-28 10:18:08 · 9 answers · asked by cripm88 3

2007-01-28 10:15:32 · 9 answers · asked by olly 2