All jokes excepted!
Thanks
2007-01-28 11:34:33 · 12 answers · asked by Stary_989 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pant s and the bar tender asks, "What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arrg, it's drivin me nuts!"
2007-01-28 11:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by ?Princess Aurora? 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course you may. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid that they'll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, "God bless you, Father, go ahead."
2007-01-29 02:12:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
(The Little Rascals)
One day sitting in class the teacher ask the children to spell a word and then use it in a sentence.
The teacher says, can somebody spell the word dumb and use it in a sentence. Darla raises her hand. OK Darla spell dumb and use it in a sentence. Darla stands up and says: d-u-m-b dumb, Buckwheat is dumb. The teacher gives her a stern look and moves on. OK, who can spell the word stupid and use it in a sentence? Again Darla raises her hand. Not wanting a repeat the teacher ask is there anybody else that can spell stupid? Darla is still the only one raising her hand. OK, Darla spell stupid. s-t-u-p-i-d stupid, Buckwheat is stupid. The teacher again gives her a stern look and continues. OK class who can spell dictate and use it in a sentence. Well Buckwheat is pretty tired of all this so he raises his hand. OK Buckwheat spell dictate and use it in a sentence. d-i-c-t-a-t-e dictate, I may be dumb and I may be stupid but Darla sure says my dictate good.
2007-01-29 02:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by AMC615 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A blond walks into a store and says, "I want to buy that t.v." the man at the counter says,"sorry main, we don't serve blonds here." So the blond goes to a wig shop and buys a red wig. She goes back to the store and asks for the TV, yet again the man at the counter says that they don't serve blonds so she leaves and buys a brunette wig. She goes back into the store and asks for the TV. The man at the counter, once again, says that they don't serve blonds there. the blond says,"How did you know it was me," then the man says,"Because that's a microwave."
2007-01-28 20:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by Luna Lovegood 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times.
You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."
2007-01-28 21:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There was a blonde, a brunete, and a redhead that were escaped covicts. so the cops were chasing them and they come across a farm. so the brunete jumps into a pig pen and says "oink, oink, oink" and the cops don't catch her. so then the redhead runs into a field of cows and says "mooooooooo" so the cops pass her up. then the blonde leaps into a sack of potatoes and says "PO-TA-TO" and the cops pass her up because they were also blondes.
2007-01-28 20:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by Look into the Air 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's black and white and dead all over?
Written instructions on how to properly conduct a funeral.
2007-01-28 19:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by Blue Rose Thorn 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yo momma so fat, she doesn't take pictures......she takes posters
yo momma is so stupid, she could't afford gas for her car so she sold the car to get money for gas
2007-01-28 20:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by AvesPro 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A 3-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mommy," he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
2007-01-28 19:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by leo_7_28 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
what did batman say to robin before they got in the car?
Robin get in the car
2007-01-28 19:42:02 · answer #10 · answered by Zaeah 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋