Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

be in a dark scary room with Freddy Kruger or in a lit room wit Michael Jackson?

2006-12-03 13:31:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is it that men stand up to do, women sit down to do, and dogs lift thier legs to do?



If you answered pee youre wrong the answer is...





Shake hands

2006-12-03 13:30:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

if water is inside a water hydrant whats outside

2006-12-03 13:22:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

heres my contribution-

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

2006-12-03 13:20:11 · 11 answers · asked by kimandchris2 5

three people from avignon were going on a walk. they reach a long deep river. there is not a bridge and they didn't have a boat or a raft (nor did they have the skills to make one) however they get across the river... How did they do this???

2006-12-03 13:16:19 · 11 answers · asked by Grammar B*@%h 4

They yelled quick see what she was listening to. The beautican picked up the headset and the tape said, "Breathe In,Breathe Out , Breathe In Breathe Out." The tape was keeping the girl alive. The moral of this is" STOP BEING SO NOSEY." What do you think?

2006-12-03 13:12:30 · 6 answers · asked by Cinnamon 2

answer: it really sucks!

hahahars

2006-12-03 13:11:25 · 6 answers · asked by ♣valentine melons♣ 4

One day a girl came into a beauty salon and told the beautican that she wanted to get her hair done, but she said" you can do my hair anyway you want but don't remove the headset from off my ears." So the beautican did the the girls hair and the girl left. The next week the girl came back and said the same thing" you can do my hair anyway you want but please don't remove the headset from my ear" She got her hair done and left. After she did this for a month the other beauticans asked her beautican " what is she listening to that's so good she won't take the headset off? Don't you ever wonder? she then said yes. So they came to an agreement that the next time the girl came in they would snatch the headset off the girls head and see what she was listening to. Well the next week the girl came in and sat down she said what she normally did. The beautican did her hair and as soon as she was finished she snatched the headset off and the girl dropped dead, everyone started yelling ,,,,,

2006-12-03 13:08:13 · 3 answers · asked by Cinnamon 2

2006-12-03 12:59:59 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

13 letters
_h_t_ _ _i _ _ me_.

2006-12-03 12:46:40 · 7 answers · asked by SHOBAN R 1

What do these have in common?
1:05, 2:10, 3:15, 4:20, 5:25, 6:30, 7:35, 8:40, 9:45, 10:50, 11:55, and 12:00.
Please don't say anything about you times the first by five or they increase by one hour and five minutes or they're times on a clock or anything like that.

2006-12-03 12:41:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

He or She
-Is a very old character and he or she gets chased in shows
-He or she is yellow
-With the Lonney Tunes

2006-12-03 12:32:25 · 16 answers · asked by hoodqueen118 3

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast.
Suddenly her
husband burst into the kitchen.

Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're
cooking
too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more
butter.
Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to
stick!
Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me
when you're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost
your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the
salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you?
You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels
like when
I'm driving with you in the car."

2006-12-03 12:29:32 · 27 answers · asked by stone 4

Just Wondering

2006-12-03 12:28:39 · 15 answers · asked by Swazy 2

He or She
-Is a crime fighter
-Side kick never does anything
-Last name starts with a Poss...

2006-12-03 12:21:43 · 5 answers · asked by hoodqueen118 3

Bouncing Bob was riding a particularly frisky horse when suddenly its bridle came off. As they raced down the road, a screaming Bob clung to the horse's ears for dear life. Out of the corner of his eye, Bob saw a car coming, and realizing the horse was completely out of control, he panicked. Flailing his arms about, he accidentally caused the horse to come to an abrupt halt. What could Bouncing Bob have done to make the horse stop?

2006-12-03 12:20:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

He
-Climbs On Walls
-Is A Super Hero
- Loves Mary Jane
- Killed his best friends Dad


First Right answer gets 10 points (So Hurry)

2006-12-03 12:12:15 · 10 answers · asked by hoodqueen118 3

2006-12-03 12:11:58 · 25 answers · asked by Reyna ♥ 1

As defendants, we deny all involvement in the unscrupulous dealings which have come to light
in the recent government investigation.

2006-12-03 12:07:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-03 12:01:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

what did the german bi-sexual girl do?


she went down on her Hans (her cousin) and her niece

2006-12-03 12:01:46 · 11 answers · asked by Grammar B*@%h 4

When her tampon is in her ear and she cant find her pencil

2006-12-03 12:00:39 · 11 answers · asked by mschultz00 2

What charactar is this?
-he lives under water
-he always rips his pants
-and he is a fry cook
First right answer gets 10 points!

2006-12-03 11:56:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a big 'turnup' at the funeral !!

2006-12-03 11:52:17 · 19 answers · asked by mazza71 2

was the one that killed Nicole? He wanted to borrow the car and OJ said, "go axe your mother."

2006-12-03 11:51:23 · 9 answers · asked by al p 3

2006-12-03 11:44:48 · 17 answers · asked by anna 2

2006-12-03 11:39:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-Sore-A**!

LOL. Sorry..I love that joke:)

2006-12-03 11:34:20 · 14 answers · asked by ♥-Madelyn's Mommy-♥ 3

Genesis 3:16 says "To the woman He said, 'I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will (A)bring forth children'" (Thanks to Bible.com for the text).

If Eve had not sinned, what would birth feel like?

2006-12-03 11:26:17 · 11 answers · asked by xgravity23 3

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep s***."

2006-12-03 11:22:38 · 17 answers · asked by Kiara 5