Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

But apparently, they're not a 'proper present'

2006-12-15 11:55:43 · 44 answers · asked by Ecko 4

Whenever blokes tell them, women clam up or look disapproving.when other women tell the same joke,they screech like banshees!!! Why? women only reply please.

2006-12-15 11:54:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I had 2 pieces of pie.. the pie is gone. There is no one else in the room, there is nowhere to get rid of the rest of it. Where's the rest of the pie?

2006-12-15 11:51:17 · 30 answers · asked by sally b 4

You have been magically transported by some evil Dark Fairy into a room with no doors, no windows.

All that is in this idle room are a table and a mirror.

What can you do to excape?

And the answer might be a little complex for some of you. Do what you can. I'd love to see you try. ;-)

And PLEASE give it your all, don't go looking for some random online tips, do it yourself! I can tell if you've cheated or not..

2006-12-15 11:48:23 · 17 answers · asked by sally b 4

2006-12-15 11:44:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was standing in the kitchen holding an egg in my hand and I made a motion to crack the egg and it flung out of my hand, over my head and i heard it land and crack, but I looked all over the place and couldn't find it? Do you think the chicken found it and was burying it in a funeral? Perhaps a weasel got into my house and stole and ate it.... was it anyone reading this question? Because I don't really want to smell it first. Any tips for finding it? Thanks.

2006-12-15 11:42:36 · 8 answers · asked by sally b 4

You may think you know, but you have no idea. The real answer is yet to come. Which is why I have chosen you, yahoo answers community, to answer the age-old question. If you say.. "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE", I will email you naked pictures of my grandmother.

2006-12-15 11:36:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-15 11:36:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

u r supposed 2 concentrate and then when the face appears it scares the pants off people,want 2 know where 2 find it

2006-12-15 11:29:18 · 4 answers · asked by niki g 3

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night after leaving the neighborhood pub.

While viewing the bedroom, they noticed a big brass gong hanging above his bed.

"What's that gong doing there?" one of his guests asked.

"It's not a gong, it's a talking clock" the drunk answered.

"A talking clock, seriously?!" asked the astonished friend.

"Yup" answered the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch" the drunk answered.

He picked up a large wooden mallet that was lying alongside the bed. He gave the gong a whack and stepped back. Suddenly someone on the other side of the wall screamed "YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT!! IT'S 10 PAST 3 IN THE MORNING!!"

2006-12-15 11:05:56 · 21 answers · asked by a m 4

1st:
There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer.
So the teacher asks Bobby, “What is this animal called?”
“I dunno,” claims Bobby.
So then she says, “I'll give you a hint—it's what your mother calls your father.”
The boy thinks for a minute and then says, “Oh that's what a son of a ***** looks like!”

2nd:
John and Sam are two neighbors always in competition.
One day John walks over to the fence of Sam's yard and sees Sam's wife watering the garden naked. The next day he tells Sam about this. So Sam wants revenge. That night he catches John's wife performing oral sex on John.
The next day Sam comes up to John and says, ''Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night.''
''Hah,'' John says, ''I wasn't home last night!''


If you are lvl 2, then please rate the THUMBS UP or THUMBS down under my joke?? If you like it then PLEASE rate thumbs up.

And please tell me if 1st one or 2nd one you liked most.

2006-12-15 10:51:30 · 16 answers · asked by Coolkid81 3

What is it that God can't do, Jesus won't do, and man can do?

we have 2 answer it for Church.

2006-12-15 10:47:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

No ovence to any blonds it's just a joke

2006-12-15 10:35:18 · 23 answers · asked by Aelita 2

dead body in the middle of the room
who did the killing




the irishman,the other two don't exist.

2006-12-15 10:26:30 · 21 answers · asked by mark 1

If you're trapped in a concrete room that has no windows, no ventilation system, and is virtually just a hollow block with you, a table, and a mirror inside, how would you get out?

2006-12-15 10:20:53 · 15 answers · asked by Le Petit Fleur 3

2006-12-15 10:19:51 · 6 answers · asked by patrick m 2

A bartender notices that every night an Irishman orders three pints of Guinness. Finally, he asks him why he always orders three pints at a time.

The Irishman says, "I've just moved to the United States, and before I left my two brothers and I all agreed to have three pints of Guinness every night, one for each of us."

The bartender thinks this is great. The Irishman continues to come in and order his three pints every night for the next few weeks. Then one night, the Irishman comes in and only orders two pints. The bartender sees this and says, "I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother."

"What do you mean?"

"I noticed you only ordered two pints, instead of the normal three, one for each brother."

"Oh no, my brothers are fine," the Irishman says. "I just gave up drinking."

2006-12-15 10:19:02 · 9 answers · asked by a m 4

2006-12-15 10:15:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

such as brain teasers
what is made of wood but cannot be sawed?

2006-12-15 10:10:47 · 2 answers · asked by mskita1 1

2006-12-15 10:09:49 · 28 answers · asked by auf wiedersehen 2

2006-12-15 10:04:29 · 23 answers · asked by auf wiedersehen 2

anyone know how this works?

http://magicmacaw.com/colors/cr001.htm

2006-12-15 10:02:36 · 2 answers · asked by bean 6

I am a fruit. I am orange in colour on the inside and have a rougher skin that is green and red. I have a pit and I contain significant amounts of the vitamins A, B and C. I am also in the same family as poison ivy. I am NOT a peach. What am I?

2006-12-15 10:01:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-15 09:53:51 · 30 answers · asked by stone 3

doesnt have to be awsome, i just want some ideas,
like this one:
you get a garbage can and fill it 3/4 full of water,
lean it against a door of any house and knock, run really fast
and hide.

2006-12-15 09:51:57 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

One of it's legs are both the same.

2006-12-15 09:48:45 · 12 answers · asked by stone 3

My manager asked me, "How sick are you?"

I replied, "Well, I'm in bed with my sister".....

2006-12-15 09:47:10 · 34 answers · asked by Ecko 4

Suzy about the new olympic condoms they have in the chemist, gold silver and bronze he said, i think i will get gold and be a winner.
maybe you should get silver said his girlfriend.
why darlin? asked Jon

Suzy replied, well i think it would be nice if you came 2nd for once.

2006-12-15 09:45:56 · 25 answers · asked by chris w. 7

2006-12-15 09:43:42 · 10 answers · asked by Dazzle 3

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your goddamn cat.”

2006-12-15 09:41:03 · 5 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3