Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

2006-12-15 20:42:41 · 5 answers · asked by cynamncyn11 2

slowing down with age ? This morning I dropped 10pence and it hit the floor, I used to be able to bend down fast enough for it to hit me on the back of the head. Ah well that's age for you !!!!!!!

2006-12-15 20:38:48 · 16 answers · asked by Shredder 6

is it a game? if it is .. so how to play it

2006-12-15 20:21:49 · 19 answers · asked by shosho_scorp 2

I'm not the fig plucker
I'm the fig puckers son
but i'll pluck figs until
the fig plucker comes

Try and say this 5 times in a row! Tell me how ya go

K!ll3r K!f

2006-12-15 20:18:40 · 8 answers · asked by kill3rkif 1

really what is the limit?,,,,and what is the fun?best answer ...

2006-12-15 20:15:17 · 7 answers · asked by angelheart 5

A Lame boy kissed a girl, A Dumb Boy see this. How this Dumb boy will say this incident to the Blind Boy, who is the brother of Girl?

2006-12-15 20:04:34 · 22 answers · asked by The Answering Machine 4

Come

2006-12-15 20:02:07 · 7 answers · asked by Jeremy 4

a city bus driver is offered peanuts 3 times by an elderly lady on his route, and he accepts graciously each time. On the third offer, he asks why she doesn't eat the peanuts, to which she replies "I can't eat them because they hurt my teeth, I just like to suck the chocolate off of them"

2006-12-15 19:42:24 · 2 answers · asked by Mark B 1

Because it was on the "suggested palcement" window.I did not notice that.That it was set at "jokes and riddles".So now there it sits.I cant figure out how to retract it.AT&T live chat won't respond.They have a pay money help line though.Any lawyers out there?

2006-12-15 19:38:14 · 6 answers · asked by wirfdirf@sbcglobal.net 1

Two guys rob a store, they burst out the door running as they hear the sirens of cop cars coming closer. The two dive into two separate bushes hoping they won't get caught. Soon the cop cars stop near the bushes and the two robbers hearing foot steps grow more nervous. A cop then grabs one of the guys out the bush laughing "Busted". As he drags the robber off he looks back shaking his head in shame... "Come on John!!!!!!!!" he screams "They got US!"

2006-12-15 19:31:37 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

2006-12-15 19:28:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-15 18:55:21 · 9 answers · asked by Dan 1

2006-12-15 18:53:39 · 9 answers · asked by kirsun10 4

An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

2006-12-15 18:46:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a b--tard when you're pi--ed, Superman."

2006-12-15 18:30:22 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?"

2006-12-15 18:26:49 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

2006-12-15 18:22:17 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

is there a jokes category? they arent questions. by the way i love the jokes but just wondered.

2006-12-15 18:21:05 · 8 answers · asked by i love americans 1

My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant!

I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are
going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said

"Well, that was the easy part.
I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin pack. And both tests were positive!

2006-12-15 18:15:46 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

i dont know if this will work, but just give it a try! :)






5+2=?









4+3=?









2+5=?








6+1=?









4+3=?








5+2=?








Quick! think of a vegetable! quick quick!















a carrot? :)

they say that if you thought of a carrot, then you are a normal person... if other vegetable, well...u are, lets say, quite different... :)

^_^ well, its just for fun.

2006-12-15 18:14:01 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-15 18:12:40 · 15 answers · asked by Rama K 1

2006-12-15 17:57:03 · 16 answers · asked by devu m 1

Last time, we saw this following riddle:

How do you know that flowers are lazy?
A: Because they stay in bed all the time :)

Heheh... here is today's riddle:

What should you do when you see a blue whale?

Good luck! :)

2006-12-15 17:38:00 · 11 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-12-15 17:33:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-15 16:49:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

2006-12-15 16:45:30 · 13 answers · asked by xxsabrina_ladnerxx 1

2006-12-15 16:44:38 · 9 answers · asked by Question 1

How much would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood

2006-12-15 16:39:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why did the traffic light turn red?

You'd turn red too if you had to change in front of so many people.

2006-12-15 16:29:16 · 17 answers · asked by ace 3

So what no solid gold Hummer WHO CARES http://music.download.com/weirdalyankovic/3600-10607_32-100948958.html
Tell me it aint funny

2006-12-15 15:56:39 · 9 answers · asked by Chris W 1