Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

Two nuns are driving down a road last night ,when a vampire jumps on the bonnet.The nun who is driving says 2 the other, "quick !show him ur cross"so the other nun leans out the window and shouts,"get off our f---ing car ".

2006-11-14 19:51:28 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

If someone called you gay say, "I'm not gay, my husband is."

2006-11-14 19:49:24 · 16 answers · asked by chriskelly656 2

An old lady's urine samples get replaced with a pregnent lady's sample in a lab. When report arrived she yelled: ' Gosh! you can't rely on your own finger nowdays'!!!!

2006-11-14 19:43:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two flea's on a f---y,1 is a burglar,1 is a junkie.How do u tell them apart?..... The burglar is hideing in the bush,and the junkie is sniffing the crack

2006-11-14 19:21:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

the other day , i was doing 90 mph when this van came up alongside me , the driver leaned right across and stuck his head out of the window and said , have you got a light mate , i said , you daft b*stard you'l kill yourself doing that , he said , no i wont mate , i only smoke two a day !!

2006-11-14 19:16:19 · 13 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

There was a power outage at the mall and paramedics were called in to rescue two blondes. It seems that when the power went out, the two got stranded on an escalator.

2006-11-14 18:40:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-14 18:34:05 · 13 answers · asked by master_betty_101 2

The got to a hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite. The Desk Clerk asked "Do you have any reservations"?
My friends wife said "Yes, I won't take it up the @rse"!

2006-11-14 18:29:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-14 18:24:07 · 11 answers · asked by Heell yeaah! 3

2006-11-14 18:17:57 · 13 answers · asked by Heell yeaah! 3

What do you think about this poem? It might seem wierd. Just let me know.. I am tring to see if I should publish this poem or not.

Murder #1
In red car,
Driving far
With needles bending
My wits ending
His not caring
Being daring
Stabbing blankly in the dark
Looking at where he parked
Another day another day
Wonder what lies today he’ll say
Wonder blankly what dues I’ll pay
Don’t think this time I’ll be okay
Grabbing hair bending knees
Scrapping bones and skin that bleeds
With each sign it reads
Dead end... woods appearing
Knowing life is ending shortly
With each blow to my head getting deeper
Each twist of the knife going steeper
I guess I’ll be an all day sleeper
Wait until I see the reaper
Carry be back to his all day keeper

2006-11-14 18:09:20 · 15 answers · asked by t_marie_02 2

and the dog ate a minner
would he sh*t a catfish
big enough for dinner

2006-11-14 18:00:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Leave it on Playing Ground?

2006-11-14 17:57:32 · 8 answers · asked by PsycHedelic 1

i went into my closet to get my fresh blankeys and pillows, i seen a big spider in the corner of my closet..as i got my show to smash it..a bigger spider crawled on my foot..i jumped and squashed it with my bare foot..as i was going to pick it up with a tissue, i seen lil white balls near it..in a cluster..they started moving..and i freaked...and suddenly, hundred of baby spiders came oozing out! and i just ran!...nasty huh?...

2006-11-14 17:53:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some
cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband!

That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in
jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT
have any cyanide!"

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband
having dinner in a restaurant with pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now... You didn't
tell me you had a prescription".

2006-11-14 17:46:28 · 6 answers · asked by stone 4

Girls what do you think about a guy with abs and the "v"
(for example me)? My girlfriend loves it.

2006-11-14 17:45:28 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-14 17:44:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have fun!!! I hope u enjoy them!!! AND remember first one to answer the question correctly gets the 10 points and NO CHEATING PLEASE!!!

2006-11-14 17:43:19 · 4 answers · asked by Dreaming♥ 5

2006-11-14 17:41:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-14 17:38:05 · 1 answers · asked by markie 3

2006-11-14 17:33:23 · 3 answers · asked by Stevensan I 1

2006-11-14 17:16:48 · 22 answers · asked by gary a 2

A good friend is like a...

'__(*)-(*)__'

BRA...

Comfortable,

Supportive,

Prevents you from falling,

Holds you tight

&

is always close to your heart!!!!

2006-11-14 17:16:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A candidate's application "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist'and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post."

An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife.please sanction me one week leave"...

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:"Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache.
I request you to leave me today"

A family friend of our's told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"

As I'm not in the well I'm unable to attend the class. Please
leave me till I come to well

2006-11-14 17:13:28 · 17 answers · asked by pussy 1

Go Wilmer :)

2006-11-14 17:07:04 · 16 answers · asked by westsida 4

There was a man in Arizona, he killed himself and after he ran away. The police are still looking for him

2006-11-14 16:48:39 · 15 answers · asked by Levi 2

Go to this site. It's really cool. If it brings you back to yahoo answers try again!
http://answers.yahoo.com

teehee

2006-11-14 16:46:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-14 16:42:32 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

THERE NAMES WERE BEN DOON AND PHILL McRAVISS

2006-11-14 16:39:40 · 6 answers · asked by free-spirit 5

2006-11-14 16:39:28 · 5 answers · asked by gwbsbodygaurd 1