Two nuns are driving down a road last night ,when a vampire jumps on the bonnet.The nun who is driving says 2 the other, "quick !show him ur cross"so the other nun leans out the window and shouts,"get off our f---ing car ".
2006-11-14 19:51:28 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
old but still funny, although have to admit anything that can get me laughing during a double french lesson gets ten points from me, so here 10 out of 10 xXx
2006-11-14 20:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Star dust 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not bad but even later that day: -
the two nuns were walking through the Everglades where the heat and humidity were really getting to them when they came across a small hut with the 'lady' of the house (about 22 stone) sitting on the front steps eating a large slice of fresh melon with her dress hitched up around her waist and no pants on.
One of the nuns turned to the other and said "Oh Sister as it's so hot would it be possible for us to take our pants off?" the other one replied "No Sister, the only time we could do anything like that would be if it were a local custom".
The first Sister, ever hopeful, walked up to the local and said "excuse me, but it it customary for people to wear no pants in this region?" to which the local replied "No mam but it sure keeps the flies off my melon"
or
Mother superior was dying, Sister Mary Ann was sitting by her bedside, comforting her and reminishing about the old times. Sister Mary Ann asked the Mother Superior about the time they gone to to the zoo some 50yrs before. Suddenly she seen a tear appear in the corner of Mother Superiors eye. Sister Mary Ann asked "When that gorilla pulled you into the cage and raped you, I have to ask did it hurt." Morther superior screamed "did it hurt , did it hurt, of course it hurt he never wrote, never phoned
2006-11-15 04:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by billtheangler 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
And later still, Mother Superior is having a relaxing bath when one of the nuns knocks on the door and says "Mother, the blind man from the village wishes to have an audience with you" Oh bugger thinks Mother Superior (maybe) "Tell him I'm busy" she says. "But Mother, he's most insistent and you DO always say our doors are always open" reminds the younger nun. Hmm...thinks Mother Superior, what harm can it do...it's the blind man after all, so she tells the nun to bring him into the bathroom. A minute later a burly chap with a cigarette in his mouth and a roll of fabric under his arm strolls in..."Hey! Nice knockers for an old bird...where d'ya want these blinds then?"
2006-11-15 04:08:16 · answer #3 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Micheal: Sir, I got thrince boys.. What names should I give them ? Ajit ( The Don ): 1st boy's name - Peter, 2nd name - Repeter and 3rd one - Sheng Lee ! Micheal: Boss, why Sheng Lee ? Ajit: Idiot. Every 3rd child in dis world is chinese. *** Husband: 2day is sunday & I need to enjoy so I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why 3 ? Hubby: 4 u and ur parents. *** True luv is like a pillow. U can hug it when ur in trouble. U can cry on it when ur in pain. U can embrace it when ur happy. So, Wanna true luv ? spend 50 bucks and buy a pillow. *** Do u know wat do i do when i see someone extremely beautiful, Gorgeous, attractive, cute, fabulous ?.. I stare, I smile and when I get tired... I put down the mirror. *** To live a life one needs brain, Looks, IQ, Knowledge and many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u,coz u manage to live without any of them.*** Santa (Reading froma book of facts): Do u know that everytime I breathe,a man dies? Banta:Why don't u use mouthwash?****************************
1. How do u keep ur husband away from reading ur emails ? A: Rename the mail folder " Instruction Manuals". 2. Wat is an adult Joke ? A: A joke that is more than 18 years old. 3. He: Do u luv me just bcos my father left me fortune ? She: No, Stupid, I'd luv u no matter who left you the money. 4. 2 days of power cut made life miserable in Delhi. Worst affected was families of Santa & Banta stuck for 48 hours on Delhi Metro Station ESCALATORS ! 5. Man b4 marriage - SUPERMAN. After marriage - GENTLEMAN. After 10 yrs - WATCHMAN. After 20 yrs - DOBERMAN. 6. Reality of life. You luv someone & u marry someone else. Person u marry becomes ur Husband or Wife and the one u loved becomes ur password of email ID. 7. If u call ur mother mum. wat will u call her younger and elder sisters ? A: MiniMUM & MaxiMUM. 8. Teacher: wat is 5 + 4 ? Mr. Bean: 9. Teacher: wat is 4 + 5 ? Mr. Bean: r u fooling me ? u just twisted figures. Its 6 !
2006-11-15 04:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
an elderly welsh man is on his death bed,he can feel the end is near when he suddenly notices a wonderful aroma he realises his lovely wife of 60 years is baking his fav food welsh cakes he drags himself out of bed to the kitchen as he reached his frail hand up to the table he feels a whack of a wooden spoon , as his wife barks f**k off there for the funeral.........
2006-11-15 04:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by joethedog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A nun would never use such language!
Shame on you.
hahahahahahahahaha.
2006-11-15 05:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little later that same day, they met up with their mother superior and were having a pleasant chat sitting on a park bench when a male streaker went (literally) flashing past.
Two of them had a stroke, but the third wasn't quite quick enough.
2006-11-15 03:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Really funny i did like that one thumbs up laffing
2006-11-15 04:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heard it before
2006-11-15 05:19:30 · answer #9 · answered by hardupmatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, ok. I have heard funnier nun jokes, however. Sorry.
2006-11-15 03:54:57 · answer #10 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋