Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

no one ever told me :( it always changes!!

2006-10-23 15:51:19 · 13 answers · asked by Nick Named 1

2006-10-23 15:48:55 · 8 answers · asked by "Call me Dave" 5

2006-10-23 15:28:10 · 11 answers · asked by anne710 1

Yo mama is so fat that when she got on a plane and it took off it crashed in the water
Yo mama is so small she tricked on a pebble
Yo mama breath is so bad that she makes everyone run when she enters a room
Yo mama is so hairy I shaved her back and there was alot of hair everywhere.

2006-10-23 15:00:54 · 34 answers · asked by Wilmer 1

Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man's father is my father's son. Who am I?

2006-10-23 15:00:25 · 19 answers · asked by rosemary w 3

What school would you most get into fights with. Use experience (it might help, like schools you were in)

2006-10-23 15:00:20 · 6 answers · asked by Link 2

Well now the symbol of the Democratic party is the donkey, right? So if the dems take over Congress will that mean the Country is being run by a bunch of Jackasses?

2006-10-23 14:44:37 · 12 answers · asked by barrettins 3

He b telling all about Monica. The title of the book.....JISM IN BLUE!!

2006-10-23 14:41:42 · 4 answers · asked by barrettins 3

2006-10-23 14:21:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man leaves his home. He travels a short distance and makes a left turn. He travels another short distance and makes another left turn. Again he travels another short distance and makes another left turn. He travels one more short distance to get himself back home. When he gets home he is confronted by two men in masks. Who are they?

2006-10-23 13:57:17 · 18 answers · asked by gojets126 3

english is hard language? read this....

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical
structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self
rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!

2006-10-23 13:44:10 · 18 answers · asked by Maxwell O 1

yes= no
no= yes
maybe= never
i'm sorry= you deserve it!
we want it= i want it
do as you wish= you'll pay for this
we need to talk= i need to make a complaint
go away= stay
stay= scram
i'm not nervous= and if i am, it's your fault, idiot!
you're so masculine= you're sweating and need a shave
be romantic, turn off the lights= i'm fat!
this kitchen in impractical= i want a new house
i want new curtains= ...and carpet, furniture, washing machine...
i heard something= you're almost asleep.
how was your day?= i'll ask you for an expensive gift...
how much do you love me= i did something that you won't like
i hate my butt= tell me that you adore me!
am i fat?= say that i look pretty
i need a new pair of shoes for the wedding= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of black.
you need to learn how to communicate= just agree with everything i say
nothing= everything
everything= my PMS is at its peak
nothing, really= you're and idiot!

2006-10-23 13:42:33 · 25 answers · asked by jqdsilva 3

2006-10-23 13:36:32 · 14 answers · asked by lonesome me 4

what is yoour personal opinion on this matter: to the inequality X<-2
is there an infinate number of solutions? tak into consideration how the numbers -2 and up are not included

2006-10-23 13:34:59 · 7 answers · asked by hmmm?? 3

what do you think?

2006-10-23 13:28:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-23 13:24:17 · 36 answers · asked by LAURAH H 1

2006-10-23 13:18:27 · 14 answers · asked by Myra 4

It was posted on here a while ago and it was about the "legend of yoodeling" About like this wonderer dude that needed a place to stay and this farmer took him in and the wonderer had sex with his wife and kid. I can't remember the whole thing, could you post it? Please and Thank you. Its driving me nutz!

2006-10-23 13:15:18 · 7 answers · asked by Shorty 4

Two boxers are in a boxing match (regular boxing, not kick
boxing). The fight is scheduled for 12 rounds but ends after 6
rounds, after one boxer knocks out the other boxer. Yet no man
throws a punch. How is this possible?

2006-10-23 13:11:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two bored male blond casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

















Anyone have anymore jokes?
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?

2006-10-23 13:10:14 · 23 answers · asked by ... 2

mother superior got all nuns together at the patio and said:
-my sisters, last night a man was in our midst!
the 99 nuns went:
-oooooooooh!...
and one nun giggle:
-heehee...
mother superior continued:
-this was certainly not the first time!
the 99 nuns went:
-oooohhh!!...
and one nun giggled:
-heehee...
mother superior added:
-this man was in one of our chambers!
the 99 nuns went:
-ooohhh!!...
and one nun giggled:
-heehee...
mother superior:
-i found a used condom!
the 99 nuns went:
-oooohhh!!...
and one nun giggled:
-heeheehee...
and the mother superior:
-the condom was broken!
the one nun went:
-ooohhh!!!
and the 99 nuns giggled:
-heeheeheehee...

2006-10-23 13:00:21 · 14 answers · asked by jqdsilva 3

2006-10-23 12:56:02 · 24 answers · asked by kellenator 4

2006-10-23 12:51:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating," says the woman.

"What a coincidence," says the man.

As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For months all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did you manage that?"

"I switched c-o-c-k-s," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

2006-10-23 12:48:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a freaking bus!

A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days, so the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear.

When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume. The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear."

The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement.

The husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"

The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and the third item is 2 x 4.

The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"

The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up ya butt and go as a fudgesicle."

http://www.willyblues.com/

2006-10-23 12:47:49 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

a gye left on friday stays for 3 days and comes back on friday,is it possiable?

2006-10-23 12:34:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

"I turn Polar Bears white,
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee,
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown,
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop."

Can you guess the riddle?


97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the riddle? Just repost this bulletin with the title "The World's Hardest Riddle!!!", and then check your inbox. You'll get a message with the correct answer in it. Good luck

2006-10-23 12:32:17 · 17 answers · asked by Lindsay M 1

write me an alphabet poem?.. incase you dont know what that is its when you write a poem and the first line begins with a.. then the next one begins with b.. then c then d.. all the way to Z.. who ever has the best one gets 10 points! :D

2006-10-23 12:31:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins. The old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

Think about this: No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.

I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

2006-10-23 12:15:13 · 17 answers · asked by Woody 3

then man and dog walks over to sit down.
second man walks into the bar slips up .barman says sorry i give you a pint.
third man walks into the bar slips up , second man said you allright mate i just done that
third man gets up and smacks him in the mouth

2006-10-23 12:13:10 · 21 answers · asked by FRANCIS247 2