Two bored male blond casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
Anyone have anymore jokes?
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?
2006-10-23 13:10:14 · 23 answers · asked by ... 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
---ABOVE JOKE WASNT FINISHED THIS IS THE WHOLE JOKE!!!!!
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
2006-10-23 13:11:30 · update #1
I MEANT to put the tittle like that. ***
2006-10-23 13:13:21 · update #2
I've got one, I was told it by my sister's boyfriend who is blonde himself, though he's a pretty smart person. I do hate the stereotyping, but this is all in the name of humor and comedy.
Three guys work as window washers, a Scottish guy, a Mexican, and a blonde guy. They had lunch on the scaffold so they could continue working right after finishing their lunch.
The Scottish guy opened his lunch and he had haggis. He yelled, "If I get more haggis tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"
The Mexican guy opened his lunch and he had a tamale.
He yelled, "If I get another tamale tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"
The blonde guy opened his lunch and he had a ham and cheese sandwich.
He yelled, "If I get another ham and cheese sandwich tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off!"
The next day, they went off to work with their lunches again. Lunchtime came and they opened their lunches. Sure enough, they each got the same thing they hated again. They all jumped off after each other.
At the funerals, the Scottish man's wife sobbed and said, "If I had known he hated haggis, I'd have packed him something else!"
The Mexican's wife cried and said, "If I had known he hated tamales, I'd have made something else for him!"
The other two men's wives turned their head to look at the blonde guy's wife. The blonde guy's wife said, "What are you looking at me for? He packs his own lunch!"
2006-10-23 13:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by The World Ends with You 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha.......funny one........brought a laugh....LOL
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration, the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arrived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said:
''I told you to give each Elmo two test tickles, not two testicles!!''
2006-10-24 02:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by Electric 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A formerly blonde accountant was driving through the country, fed up with all the blonde jokes she hears. She had just dyed her hair to avoid any more jokes and was determined to prove she's smart. She sees a farmer with a flock of sheep and sees her opportunity. She stops, rolls down the window and beckons the farmer over to the car. He approaches and she poses a deal to him.
"If I can guess the number of sheep you have, can I take one?"
"Certainly," the farmer says. The woman jumps out of the car, stands at the edge of the field for about ten seconds, and then gives the farmer the exact number of sheep in the flock. Impressed, he confirms she's correct and offers any sheep in the field.
She walks into the field, and wanders through the flock for a few minutes. Finally she finds the one she desires and picks up her prize. As she walks towards her car, the farmer stops her.
"Ma'am," he says, "if I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
2006-10-23 20:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by Brawl2099 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great joke!
Here's one, if you've heard it just tell me so:
A blond walks into a bar and sits next to a man who's watching the news. A man is trying to commit suicide by jumping off a builidng.
The man turns and says: I bet you 200 dollars he'll jump.
The blond acepts the bet and they each lay 200 dollars on the table.
The suicidal jumper jumps.
The man turns to the blond and says : I can't take your money. I saw the news earlier today and I knew he would jump.
The blond replies: So did I, but I didn't think this guy would be stupid enough to jump again.
Tell me what you think!
2006-10-23 20:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by absolute_soahc 1 · 10⤊ 0⤋
What's the diffrence between a bnlode and a:
Greyhound bus? Fewer people have ridden the bus
Bowling Ball? Can only put 3 fingers in the ball
What do you call 30 bnlodes standing shoulder to shoulder? A wind tunnel
What do you call a bnlode who has dyed her hair? Artificial intelligence.
Bnlode, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the tooth Fairy are competing to see who is the smartest. Who wins?
The bnlode, the others are imaginary
What does a bnlode say after sex? You guys on the same team?
How does a bnlode turn on the light after sex? Opens the glovebox
2006-10-23 20:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by George Curious 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
A blonde sights a horse and jumps on it. It starts bucking like crazy! She doesn't know what to do and she falls off. Her foot is caught on the saddle, and her face is being dragged on the ground. In despair, she starts crying.....
when the Wal-Mart manager comes out and unplugs the ride!
2006-10-23 20:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
A Blonde and her Redheaded friend walks by a gentleman eating a bowl of Cheerios outside on his back porch. The Red Head noticed and said to the man "Good morning sir! I hope you enjoy your cereal this morning!" He nods to her, smiles, and continues eating. A moment later the Blonde notices the man eating a bowl of Cheerios and exclaims (rather loudly), "Boy oh Boy...look! He's eating a bowl of BABY DONUTS!"
What is a Blonde's mating call? "I'M DRUUUUNNKKK!!!"
What did the Blonde say to her pregnant friend? "Is it yours?"
2006-10-23 20:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Charlie Bravo 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well i thought they were quiet good. Being a blonde and all myself...Does it really matter that she spelt blonde wrong tho, we all understood her joke...Anyway all you idiots spelt it wrong also, it actually has an 'e' on the end! Its blonde not blond. Get over yourselves, Losers!
2006-10-23 20:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by Brookeo 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''
The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''
2006-10-23 20:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
wat do u do if a blond throws a grenade at u?
easy... pull out the pin and throw it back.
how does a blond turn on the light in the morning?
she opens the car door.
2 blonds are yelling at eachother and a brunette is standing in the middle,what is the brunette doing?
translating...
2006-10-23 20:13:40 · answer #10 · answered by cjsayers92 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋