Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

add 25, now add another 25, subtract 10, add 15, subtract 7, add 12, now take that total and subtract it from the number you started with

your end result is 60 isn't it ;-P another joke to use when your friends are drunk

2006-10-31 07:52:53 · 6 answers · asked by scaman 1

2006-10-31 07:50:20 · 30 answers · asked by Georgia W 2

4, 1 to hold the lightbulb and 3 to turn him!!!!!

2006-10-31 07:49:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

So i'm waiting at the buss station with this person and a car starts honking right behind us. How exactly can you make that moment a humorous one instead of a rather irritating one ? Thanks in advance :)

2006-10-31 07:47:59 · 11 answers · asked by Nothingness 1

A 1936 austin7 full of Jews

2006-10-31 07:42:42 · 5 answers · asked by jabelite 3

when a vampire jumps on the bonnet. One says to the other, "quick!! show him your cross!"
the other leans out the window, and shouts, "get off our fu cking car!!!"

2006-10-31 07:40:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Games to play when we are really old...
1) Sag, your it.
2) Hide and go Pee.
3) Red rover, Red rover, the nurse says Bend over.
4) Musical Recliners
5) Pin the toupee on the bald guy
6) Simon says- Huh, What's that you say?
7) kick the Bucket- for real!
8) 20 questions: Shouted in your good ear.

2006-10-31 07:39:13 · 5 answers · asked by P!ss Ant 5

There's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs."

2006-10-31 07:33:35 · 8 answers · asked by Inferno13 6

2006-10-31 07:28:04 · 5 answers · asked by Kim 3

St Peter asks them if they have ever touched a mans Penis,
First nun admits that once she did touch one with the palm of her hand. St peter asks her to bathe her hand in the holy font in front of them, then continue into heaven,
As she does this the Third Nun rushes past the Second Nun and starts to drink the water from the font, St peter asks her why she is doing this, she Replied "I want to wash my mouth out before Sister Maria sticks her #rse in it!

2006-10-31 07:22:05 · 7 answers · asked by jabelite 3

to let oxygen into there brains

2006-10-31 07:18:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Has anyone figured out the answers to the remainder of Challenge 11? I know 1 is Wind and 2 is seven..any help out there??? Thanks..

2006-10-31 07:16:13 · 4 answers · asked by Marsha J 2

Asteroids and Hemorhorroids are located in the same spot?

2006-10-31 07:16:07 · 7 answers · asked by barrettins 3

3 friends were driving in the desert when the car broke down. They then decided to walk until they found a village. The first man took out a loaf of bead to carry just in case they got hungry. The second man went into the car and got a gallon of water just in case they got thirsty. The third man wasn't so bright so he ripped off the car door. when asked about his reason for doing this. He replied "when it gets hot i can screw down the window"

2006-10-31 07:13:24 · 11 answers · asked by Black Like A Tar 4

blonde walks into a bar, orders a pint of lager, throws it back in one go and is completely legless. she makes her way outside where she bumps into a guy who sees the state she's in, brings her up an alley and has his wicked way with her for about 2 hrs. Same thing happens every night for 2 weeks then one night she enters bar and barman asks her if she'll have the usual. no she replies, think i'll try an ale, that lager gives me an awful pain in the c**t.

2006-10-31 07:09:01 · 8 answers · asked by mine of useless information 1

Could he Ring himself?

2006-10-31 07:08:27 · 13 answers · asked by jabelite 3

The Bush Family is sitting around the dinner table. Ma Bush (barbara) says let's play 20 questions...

George HW Bush (I) says, "Ok. Is it bigger than the breadbox?"

Barbara says, "yes".

George W Bush (II) says, "Can I fit it in my mouth?"

Barbara says, "yes, you can."

then, as if on que, the Bush twins (Jenna And Barbara - George W's Daughters) say, "is it a black man's c*ck?"

2006-10-31 07:01:36 · 12 answers · asked by johnny come - lately, esq. 2

Marry one and have children

2006-10-31 06:55:39 · 17 answers · asked by jabelite 3

YOUR AGE WITH CHOCOLATES

DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO THE END ...
It will only take a minute
Do the maths as you read the instructions
Don’t read the end until you have done all the calculations
I promise it is not a waste of time, you will find this amusing.




1. How many times a week do you fancy eating chocolate?
(choose between 1 and 9)



2. Multiply that number by 2



3. Add 5



4. Multiply by 50 – go on, get that calculator out!



5. If you have had your birthday in 2006, add 1756. If your birthday is still to come, add 1755.




6 Now take away the year you were born.




You should have a three digit number. The first is the number of time you fancy eating chocolate in a week.

The other two digits are ...


YOUR AGE!!!

2006 IS THE ONLY YEAR IN ALL ETERNITY WHEN THIS WORKS. SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS WHILE IT WORKS!

2006-10-31 06:51:21 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman walked in her home one day and walked by her daughter's bedroom
She heard a noise,She opened the door and saw her daughter using a vibrator
The Mother asked what are you doing?
The girl explained,Mom I am 32 years old,I am not that pretty ,This is the closest thing i will ever have to a husband.The mother sighed and left the room
The next day the father walked by his daughter room and he heard a noise and opened the door and saw his daughter using a vibrator and ask What are you doing? The daughter replied Dad i am 32 years old i am not that pretty and this is the closest thing i will ever have to a husband. The dad sighed and left the room. The next day the mother came home from work and heard the same noise in the living room she saw her husband laying on the couch.She said What are you doing with that.He said me and the Son In Law are watching a football game
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah
Don't care who you are that's funny

2006-10-31 06:49:31 · 14 answers · asked by tr2thhrt 5

hi I have this clip art picture of a tombstone for Halloween. It's blank and I need some real funny lines or ideas to fill it in with. who can help come up with the most cleaver ideas of what to write on this tombstone, gets my points :) Any ideas? thanks
Kelly

2006-10-31 06:46:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

where is a womans asshole while she is having an orgasm on the golf coarse playing golf

2006-10-31 06:44:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

This pig farmer has all female pigs and he wants to breed them so he calls the farmer down the road who has all male pigs... and asks if he can bring his pigs over. The neighbor says put them in the back of your pick up and bring them over. Afterward he asks "how will I know if their pregnant"? The farmer says they will be grazing in the field. So next day he looks out the window and they are not grazing. The other farmer says put them in your pick up and bring them over again..next day their not grazing so the guy says put them in your pick up and bring them over again. Next day he says to his wife "look outside and see if the pigs are grazing"? His wife says no ...Their all in the back of the pick up and one is honking the horn!

2006-10-31 06:44:05 · 8 answers · asked by Fireman T 6

ok down the page are 4 lines of numbers add them up as quickley as you can out loud as you see them







2030
1030
1030
10









the answer is not 5000



write this down on a piece of paper and uncover them 1 at a time
95% of all people will answer 5000 try it and see

2006-10-31 06:34:08 · 17 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

what do a clitoris an anniversary and a toilet have in common

2006-10-31 06:33:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am from Kazakhstan and I never heard this word.
Also in his move title he is using "BORДT" what language is this?

2006-10-31 06:21:56 · 11 answers · asked by Rustam K 2

2006-10-31 06:09:54 · 23 answers · asked by chris n 1

I've got a big box of sweets for the trick or treaters, i've been giving them out since the first came at 5 O'clock, and now the bast**** have thrown eggs really hard at the window. what's the point if they don't even knock the door. I am so mad.

2006-10-31 05:55:40 · 27 answers · asked by Jayne 2 (LMHJJ) 5

The word between small and woman? Please?

2006-10-31 05:49:49 · 7 answers · asked by JusWondering 1

this is your last chance and these are only jokes but near the mark


simon weston has filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery, he said kids look nothing like him

what did the disabled kid says when his dog jumped onto the sofa?
down syndrome

what did eric claptons nanny say when his son fell 7 floors to his death?
there goes my job out of the window

i sat in front a leper in a restaraunt the other day, i looked at him and threw up, he apologized his seaping wounds were putting me off my food, its not that i said the guy behind you keeps dipping his chips in your back

at a train station a man asked for " a dirst dass ticket to dottingham please
the man behind the counter said " you need a packet of tunes mate
the man asked " why? does it cure down syndrome ?

elton john has finally agreed to do a tribute song for mother theresa,
its called sandals in the bin

2006-10-31 05:43:05 · 31 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3