Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-08 01:28:31 · 14 answers · asked by geoffrey2312 3

Because they bend over pages

2006-10-08 01:15:46 · 4 answers · asked by rsist34 5

a man goes 2 a restaurant and orders a tuna soup. he drinks it all up ...later on he decides 2 kill himself.. why?

2006-10-08 00:56:33 · 12 answers · asked by silk_escore 2

ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST
Count every "F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

2006-10-08 00:50:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man goes 2 a restaurant and orders a tuna soup. he drinks it all up ...later on he decides 2 kill himself.. why?

2006-10-08 00:41:25 · 10 answers · asked by silk_escore 2

2006-10-08 00:33:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become
detectives.


To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"


The first Singh answers, "That's
easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman
says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side
profile."



Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for
5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how
would
you recognize him?"



The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,


"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer
you can come up with?"



Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?



He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh
looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears
contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he
really


doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an
interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and
I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office,


checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming
smile on his face.



"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact
lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"



"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he
only has one eye and one ear."

2006-10-08 00:16:16 · 11 answers · asked by sea_vancouver 1

2006-10-08 00:16:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A scientific study lasting more than seven years has just been completed.
Its conclusion is that the most frequently used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position..
The husband sits up and begs...the wife rolls over and plays dead.

2006-10-08 00:05:04 · 5 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

You decide to go out with your family to the beach,but cant get a day off.The day of the trip u call your boss and tell him the you're sick and cant make it to the office.However while having fun at the beach u happen to run into ur boss(OH MY GOD).Whats ur excuse or what do u do?

2006-10-07 22:39:04 · 23 answers · asked by mk137 1

2006-10-07 22:36:48 · 23 answers · asked by eden b 2

a. Lorena is a hero of our time.
b. You gotta admit, she had one hell of a sense of humor.
c. She was a pathetic abused woman who exploded.
d. She's a nutcase who should be locked up.


And by the way, is it really true Lorena and Stumpy are back together?

2006-10-07 22:30:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

IT IS GREATER THAN GOD,

MORE EVIL THAN THE DEVIL.

THE RICH NEED IT,

THE POOR HAVE IT.

IF YOU EAT IT,

YOU WILL DIE...

WHAT IS IT??

For those of you who know the answer...
lets see what those who don't...
think.

2006-10-07 22:11:14 · 23 answers · asked by Sillira 3

he bum his way in to the cinema and got chuck out 4 standing on the seats

2006-10-07 21:53:42 · 12 answers · asked by for a pound 1

2006-10-07 21:41:42 · 51 answers · asked by senior 1

2006-10-07 21:02:07 · 41 answers · asked by vishaldsh 2

i got two things while a cow got 4 of it.
i am not who u think i am but i am what i U think i aint but u know i AM that.
who am i?

2006-10-07 20:58:58 · 13 answers · asked by fresh_new_attitude 1

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Bunnings with



her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through



the entrance. The Bunnings Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to



Bunnings. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"







The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they

ain't!



The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell

would



you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?"







"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid

twice!"

2006-10-07 20:47:47 · 12 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

2006-10-07 20:47:04 · 22 answers · asked by vishaldsh 2

Are you READY--
Last Night I came and sc_r*w*d you when u were asleep, DO YOU REMEMBER??

HAHA

2006-10-07 20:28:27 · 15 answers · asked by spice3boy 2

I am a Word of 5 Letters!

People Eat Me!!!!!!

If you remove my 1st letter, I will be a form of energy!!!

If you remove my 1st 2 letters, I will be needed for living!!!!

If you remove my 1st 3 letters I will be near you!!!!

If you remove my 1st 4 letters, I will be a drink for You!!!

Who am I

ANSWER IF YOU ARE GENIOUS

2006-10-07 20:21:10 · 12 answers · asked by M @ $ T @ N @ 1

One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom, how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling, but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?"

His mother ,very surprised, replies; "Honey you know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help him lose weight".

The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother why...

"Mom that's not going to help, because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work, and blows him back up again!"

2006-10-07 20:11:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Guess this band...
_ E _ _ O _ _ A _ _

They're sincere rockers with a difference - they have a violin player!

2006-10-07 20:04:59 · 6 answers · asked by blackhorse268 1

2006-10-07 20:02:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-07 19:36:24 · 42 answers · asked by vishaldsh 2

he wants me 2 cut his hair but i dont know what 2 do with it. he'd like 2 use gels. his face is pretty round & he has pretty big ears. if u have any ideas please let me know. pics would be helpful.

2006-10-07 19:31:17 · 7 answers · asked by myfrogisaprince1211 2

Last time, we saw this following riddle:

Can you explain the sign outside the toy store, that says not to feed the animals?
A: Because they are already stuffed!

Heheh. And here is today's riddle:

Who has friends for lunch?

Have fun! :)

2006-10-07 19:30:01 · 6 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

'the census taker told the sheriff of a small town there was something wrong with the population figures. 'for the last ten years the population had been the same: 2058.'
'yeah that’s right,' said the sheriff. its always been 2058.'
but surely someone has a baby every so often?'
'sure,' replied the sheriff. 'and every time it happens some guy has to leave town.'

2006-10-07 19:13:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man had decided to see a prostitute for the first time, but when he went to the address his pal had told him about, it looked like the place had shut down. 'hey,' he yelled. 'I want to come in.'
'okay then put $100 through the mail slot.' he did. but nothing happened and no one came out. 'hey, I came here to be screwed!'
'what?' called out a woman’s voice. 'again?'

2006-10-07 19:01:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball

2006-10-07 18:53:08 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous