Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-08 10:07:05 · 7 answers · asked by STORMY K 3

2006-10-08 10:04:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

50 words or more if not no points !!!

2006-10-08 09:59:46 · 9 answers · asked by laura 1

What is one is enough two is too much three is a poison that kill a person?

2006-10-08 09:51:03 · 15 answers · asked by lolipop 3

both were made for children but its the men that end up playing with them

2006-10-08 09:33:51 · 33 answers · asked by jennymarc29 1

2006-10-08 09:33:27 · 12 answers · asked by phillipip 2

2006-10-08 09:30:15 · 21 answers · asked by Alison J 2

From movies I have gathered the following -

Willie
Nelson
Johnson
Peter
Dick
Dongle

2006-10-08 09:22:27 · 18 answers · asked by Sajjad 1

the lone ranger and his sidekick tanto was in the wilderness about 50 miles from the nearest town, the lone ranger went in the bushes to take a sh**. suddenly he made a loud scream, tanto ask "what happened" "a snake bit me on my penis, what to do" the ranger replied "I don't know" answered tanto
ride to the next town and find a doctor" replied the ranger.

so tanto jumped on his horse and rode, and rode going over hill and mountain, through rivers and snow, finally he spot a town, found a doctor and asked his what to do for snake bite, the doc told his suck poison from wound.

so tanto went back the way he came through river over mountains and hill repeating the phrase in his head suck poison from wound, suck poison from wound.

finally he reached the lone ranger lying on the ground, tanto took a look at the wound and said "doctor said you go die." and he rode off leaving the ranger on his own

months later in town someone spot the ranger with a beautiful lady who saved him

2006-10-08 09:20:31 · 6 answers · asked by jagon 2

2006-10-08 09:18:29 · 25 answers · asked by fivelighters 4

acne doesn´t come on a boys face until hes 13!!

2006-10-08 09:17:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

a black car is driving down a black street with black houses in a blackout.... everything is black... the road the footpath etc...there are no street lights...
the car has no lights... a black dog is lying right across the middle of the black road... how does the driver see him?

2006-10-08 09:15:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can any one tell my an ancient egyptian related (pyramids, etc. ) joke appropriate for my history class? I need one for a class project! :)

2006-10-08 09:10:09 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Michael Jacksons hand.....


now who found that offensive?... come on start moaning about that joke....

2006-10-08 09:07:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

In my back yard?

2006-10-08 08:54:49 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

are going on their annual day out... so they all get onto the nun mini bus and away they go... about 10 miles up the road they meet with a terrible accident and all die...
at the gates of heaven St Peter comes out to greet them... "welcome ladies... no you´ve all lead very good and selfless lives and so you will all be welcomed into heaven... but just one condition before you enter... if at any time in your life any part of your body has touched a mans penis you must dip that part into the holy water here beside me"... so he asks the 1st nun... "well sister have you ever touched a mans penis"?... she replys "oh my.. well once when i was on a crowded bus my elbow brushed a mans crotch"... so St Peter tells her to dip her elbow in the water and pass through the gates... he says to the next nun "well sister have you ever touched a mans penis"?.. all of a sudden theres lots ofpushing and shoving in the group and 2 nuns emerge to the front...

2006-10-08 08:44:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.peripherique.org/article-2722983.html

he is the most funny man i ever see do you you know where i can see him on stage for his show ?? if you know let me know where i can buy tickets ..
thanx

2006-10-08 08:43:50 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Dave and Pete were lined up at the urinals and Dave couldn't help but notice how well endowed his mate was.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, "that's a remarkable piece of equipment you have there. "Yeah," replied Pete, "It wasn't always like that. wasn't happy with the one I had, so I went to this exclusive private clinic and had a transplant. It cost £1,500 but it was worth it."
Now Dave couldn't stop thinking about this so a few weeks later, he got the address from Pete and booked into the same clinic. The next time they met, he smiled at his mate and said,
"I think you were had, my new todger only cost £750."
"What!" shouted Pete. "Same place, same doctor? Let's have a look."
Dave showed off his new possession and Pete creased up with laughter.
"Oh that's alright," he said, "no wonder it didn't cost so much, it's my old one." :)

2006-10-08 08:35:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A college class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were that the story had to contain the following three elements: religion, sexuality, and mystery. There was only one A+ paper in the entire class, witch read...

"Good God, I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it?"

2006-10-08 08:12:48 · 10 answers · asked by ariel 2

The toughest jail in America that is, he gets put in a cell
with a 20 stone big muscly black man.
The big black fella says "Tonight at lights out me and you are gonna play Mummies & Daddies" The little white man is scared to death and dreads going back into the cell.
Well night-time comes and the black man says "Come on then time to play" But the little white man tries his luck and replies "OK but only if i can play the Daddy" to which the black man says "OK ,get up here and suck Mummies CO*K

2006-10-08 08:11:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

At the beginning of the English lesson, the teacher announced to the class that they all had to think of a sentence using the word 'marvellous'.
"Last night I went to the theatre and saw a marvellous show" said little Tommy.
"I had a marvellous time on my holiday!" said Johnny.
Then Kevin put his hand up. "Please miss, I've got a sentence...Last night my sister told my patents she was pregnant and my dad said 'Well that's marvellous, bloody marvellous'!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The local radio station was doing a feature about life on isolated farms. They interviewed one such farmer and asked hm whether it was true that people like him shagged cattle, sheep, goats and chickens.
"WHAT!" roared the outraged farmer, "chickens!?!"
-----------------------------------------------------
One prisoner said to the other,
"I think my cell mate's gay."
"How can you tell?"
"He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight."

2006-10-08 08:01:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

The professor's voice boomed out across the lecture theatre.
"Today, we will study the human body in closer detail," he told his class of first-year medical students.
"Here in front of me is the dead body of a male aged 46. I shall remove parts of his anatomy. Here is the heart, here is the liver, these are the kidneys."
At that moment, a latecomer arrived and whispered to the student sitting next to him...
"Hey, what's he doing?"
"He's giving an organ recital," came the reply. :)

2006-10-08 07:51:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I now this is a dumb question but it doese'nt hurt to ask.so give me answers the sillyer the better.

2006-10-08 07:39:00 · 8 answers · asked by poppadog75 1

2006-10-08 07:38:04 · 36 answers · asked by Bruza 17/uk 3

A woman was so overweight that her health was suffering but she was unable to keep to a strict diet. Eventually, the doctor gave her the news that she would no longer be taking any food through her mouth. From now on she would take all nourishment through the rectum. Two months later she returned to the surgery with the good news that she had lost three stones.
"Well done," congratulated the doctor, "keep on like this and we'll soon have you down to a reasonable size."
The woman smiled happily and walked towards the door.
"Just one thing," said the doctor noticing she was walking with a strange waddle, "Is there anything wrong with your legs?"
"Oh no doctor, they're fine."
"Then why are you walking in that strange way?"
"I'm only chewing some bubble gum, doctor," she replied. :)

2006-10-08 07:34:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-08 07:33:59 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Sikh was dancing on the street with holding a drum in his hand. And suddenly a man came forward and asked: "What are you celebrating for?". He replied: - "My brother has got the disease of brain-tumer". The other man asked: "Your brother has got a disease and you are celebrating, why?". The sikh replied: - "The reason of my celebration is that, all the peoples suspect us that we haven´t got any brains. But not, my brother has proved everybody wrong. Because we have got the brain, that´s why my brother has also got the disease of brain-tumer".

Hahahaha, isn´t it funny?

2006-10-08 07:29:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-08 07:12:59 · 65 answers · asked by fivelighters 4

2006-10-08 07:02:21 · 22 answers · asked by for a pound 1

2006-10-08 07:00:53 · 9 answers · asked by kelly 3