2006-10-08 07:00:53 · 9 answers · asked by kelly 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
True Fishing Terms
Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.
Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.
2006-10-08 07:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
2) Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.
3) You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".
4) Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
5) You keep a flippin stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
6) You name your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
7) Bass Pro Shop has a private line just for you.
8) You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.
9) You have a photo of your 10 lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.
10) You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal.
11) You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
12) You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot.
13) You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.
14) Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.
15) You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage.
16) Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone,
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
2006-10-08 10:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by ShellyBelly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rednecks go fishing
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
2006-10-08 07:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay mate, might be true ?
Went fishing for catfish one day with some live frogs....
The fish were biting well and we were down to our last frog, and a damn snake came and grabbed the last frog...it wouldn't let go and we poured some whiskey down it's mouth, and it let go and slithered away.
i baited up , threw the last frog in...and felt a tap on my shoulder..when i turned around, there was the snake with another frog....
2006-10-08 08:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Featherman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
irish man say a man walking down the street with a salmon under his arm and asked how he caught such a beauty, the man replied by saying with the art of tickling, it stuns the fish allowing it to be caught, irish man were he got it and was told his mate held him by the ankles over the bridge and waited for him to say haul me up, so off went the irish man and a friend to a bridge, rite he said hold my ankles and pull wen i shout, after ten mins his friend shouted down have you got anything, no shut up, 20 mins the same , then 35mins he shouts haul me up haul me up, his friends calls down have you caught one, irishman replied no theres a bloody train coming
2006-10-08 07:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by polly a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what does a fish say when it hit the brick wall?
dam
2006-10-08 07:57:08 · answer #6 · answered by tabkat93 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that joke is dumb
2006-10-08 07:07:43 · answer #7 · answered by jonny d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a lady was fishing!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-08 07:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by I want to delete my answers account 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No im sorry
:(
2006-10-08 07:19:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋