Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

just lookin to hear some funny jokes.....dirty and clean alike...whatever makes me laugh hardest get best answer

2006-10-08 20:03:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Last time, we saw this following riddle:

Who has friends for lunch?
A: A cannibal!

Hehe. And here is today's riddle:

Which part of the car is most tired (hint: not tires)?

Good luck! :)

2006-10-08 19:33:43 · 11 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

How many words can you make of HAPPY HALLOWEEN ?
Write the words, not the numbers please!
( I'll give you 2, happy and halloween) LOL
If you can get the most I might pick you as best answer but if you don't get it you still get 2 points for answering!

2006-10-08 19:16:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man lies on the ground dead. Nothing but a hundred foot cliff are near him and a glowing green stone are near him. This man has no injuries on him, didn't die from a diesease or old age, and no one was around to kill him. Who was this man and how did he die?

2006-10-08 18:52:50 · 17 answers · asked by ☼Divine Wind☼ 3

he tells her: "to your right is the door to heaven and to your left is the door to hell: chose!" immediatelly the old woman goes to the right door but before she gets to open it she hears drill noises followed by intense screams of pain. "what is that noise?" asked the old lady. "oh don't worry!" replied the man, "when you get to heaven they must drill holes on your back for the wings and one in the head for the halo." the woman then starts heading to the left door. the man says: "where are you going? if you go to hell the devil will do all kinds of sexual acts on you!" "i know," replied the old woman, " but at least the holes are already there..."

2006-10-08 18:37:55 · 13 answers · asked by jqdsilva 3

A lady walks into a penthouse bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the
counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you."

He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk!"

2006-10-08 18:27:55 · 9 answers · asked by Candi S 2

now give me the german names for every kind of garment you can think of. for example "panties: fisch es hidden."

2006-10-08 18:24:58 · 6 answers · asked by jqdsilva 3

He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you been bad or good.
So be good for goodness sake
So you better watch out
You better not pout
You better not cry

2006-10-08 18:13:08 · 18 answers · asked by barrettins 3

mary says mark is telling a lie.
mark says marge is telling a lie.
marge says that both mary and mark and telling lies.

Can you tell if it's possible to
determine who is telling the truth?

2006-10-08 17:44:27 · 28 answers · asked by 3d 3

2006-10-08 17:42:32 · 17 answers · asked by ~Kobe 4 MVP!~ 2

The people u r closest , like , tell me ?!
For me My Parents , Friends & Cousins .

2006-10-08 17:41:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

What kind of friend do u like ?

2006-10-08 17:25:21 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

2006-10-08 17:03:14 · 11 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

2006-10-08 17:02:28 · 14 answers · asked by jen 7

2006-10-08 16:49:19 · 8 answers · asked by knrose 1

1.Why does a dog get mad at you when u blow in its face but when u r in a car with it, it sticks its head out the window?!?!?
2.how important do u have to be to be assasinated and not murderd.
3.why to toaster have the ability to set itself to burn the toast tha no one in the right mind would eat.
4.why does circle pizza come in a square box?
5.why do peeps point at their wrists when the want to know the time but they dont point to their crotch when they want to know where the bathroom is?!?!?!?!?

2006-10-08 16:35:43 · 11 answers · asked by nafarius333 2

2006-10-08 16:31:11 · 13 answers · asked by tazmanjr 1

in-us-e-ia-iz-d

2006-10-08 16:30:44 · 8 answers · asked by mad t 1

Carry's mother had for children, not to mention a rather unhealthy fixation on monetary names. The oldest child was named Quarter. The second child was called Dimeond. The third child was named Nickelass. What was the fourth child and only girl likely named?

2006-10-08 16:14:35 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man with 2 of his babies were chase by canabals. They came across a bridge. There was a sign, the sign said: only 70 kilo maximum.The man weight 60 kilo and each baby weight 10 kilo. The question: What must the man do to cross the bridge without losing 1 of the baby? tik tok tik tok....they have less than minutes to cross the bridge!!!
provider: http://www.crazyjokes.tk
check the website for more jokes and riddles.....

2006-10-08 16:05:18 · 9 answers · asked by I agree... 1

1. What is twice the half of 1 3/7?
2. If two peacocks lay two eggs in two days, how many eggs can one peacock lay in four days?
3. How many cubic feet of earth are there in a hole meauring 3 feet wide by 4 feet long by 5 feet deep?
4. Do u know how long cows should be milked?
5. Where was Queen Cleopatras temple.
6. In what month do americans eat the least?
7. How many marbles can u put into an empty bag?
8. The greengrocer stands 6 feet tall, has a 46-inch chest, and wears size 12 shoes. What do u think he weighs?
9. If a duck came paddling down the Nile, where would it have come from?
10. How long will a seven-day grandfather clock run without winding?

2006-10-08 16:01:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

She starts with .... A man once said........

2006-10-08 15:54:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

You approach two talking doors. One door leads to the City of Truth, while the other door leads to the City of Liars. You do not know which door is which. You are able to ask only one question to determine which door is which. The door that leads to the City of Liars always speaks lies, while the door that leads to the City of Truth always speaks the truth. You want to go to the City of Truth. What question do you ask to determine which door leads to the City of Truth

2006-10-08 15:50:20 · 7 answers · asked by DiamondXxx 6

2006-10-08 15:14:02 · 13 answers · asked by barrettins 3

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.


After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood.....big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all...NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.


He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness's. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.



As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."


"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."


"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me." He leads him to a back "delivery alley," then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."


The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.


Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.


As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you ... is that what you call English Hospitality?"


"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

2006-10-08 15:13:59 · 9 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Well then?

2006-10-08 15:12:31 · 10 answers · asked by Momma Jette 4

Be sure to add lots of detail so we can have a laugh too.

2006-10-08 15:11:51 · 6 answers · asked by Momma Jette 4

2006-10-08 14:59:16 · 26 answers · asked by Dave R 1

before they are assassinated instead of just murdered?

2006-10-08 14:44:20 · 3 answers · asked by NANCY K 6

After his visit, his cellmate asked who it was. He said,"Brothers and sisters I have none. but that man's Father is my Father's Son." Who was the visitor?

2006-10-08 14:36:05 · 22 answers · asked by Darrell T 1