Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

What happens twice in a week, and once in a year, but never in a day?

2006-10-09 04:04:21 · 15 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5

Name three keys that unlock no doors

2006-10-09 04:02:34 · 11 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5

Think hard about it!!!!!

2006-10-09 04:01:01 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you had a full glass of whatever and drunk half, i would say the glass was half empty, if it was poured fresh half way up then it would be half full!!

What do you think?

2006-10-09 03:59:52 · 37 answers · asked by ♥Lexi♥ 3

2006-10-09 03:58:41 · 20 answers · asked by saj 1

2006-10-09 03:51:12 · 19 answers · asked by edwark3 1

approx., at least....

2006-10-09 03:49:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-09 03:46:09 · 25 answers · asked by Polo 7

Three macho mice are sitting at a bar discussing just how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says: "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says: "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and turns to walk away.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" ask his friends.
The third mouse stops and replies: "I'm going home to shag the cat."

2006-10-09 03:41:47 · 12 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD? witty funny answer gets a cute prize in their email if they provide it

2006-10-09 03:39:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman gets on a bus holding a baby and the bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

In a huff the woman slams her fare down and takes an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her senses that she is agitated and asks her what is wrong.

“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumes.

The man sympathises and says, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”

“You’re right,” she says, “ I think I’ll go back and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea,” says the man, “here, let me hold your monkey."

2006-10-09 03:37:43 · 17 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3

2006-10-09 03:36:12 · 20 answers · asked by hAnNaH bAnAnA 2

Woman:We need to talk
Man:I need to complain

Woman:Do you like this recipe
Man:It's easy to fix so you'd better get use to it

Woman:You have to learn how to communicate
Man:Just agree with me

2006-10-09 03:33:22 · 15 answers · asked by FlossyQ 2

2006-10-09 03:19:03 · 16 answers · asked by playfire5 1

An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.

He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very load voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here... you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"

The heads of all the patients in the waiting room snapped around, to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"

2006-10-09 03:16:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

great at something you hate doing or useless at something you love?

2006-10-09 03:16:03 · 2 answers · asked by markhatter 6

2006-10-09 03:14:25 · 13 answers · asked by Bruza 17/uk 3

If the dems take over the Congress will that mean the country is being run by a bunch of Jackasses?

Hee Haw!!! Hee Haw!!! Dey's a pickin' and I'm a grinin"

2006-10-09 03:09:12 · 7 answers · asked by barrettins 3

It's difficult for me, especially the zippers.....

2006-10-09 02:57:22 · 11 answers · asked by crazylove 1

the name wendy was invented fot the story of peter pan.....
got anymore?

2006-10-09 02:43:44 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

ridiculed or ignored?

2006-10-09 02:41:12 · 34 answers · asked by markhatter 6

2006-10-09 02:26:20 · 10 answers · asked by diwakar 2

2006-10-09 02:25:42 · 16 answers · asked by pompeyfc 3

george bush ridin a skate bord with 3 weels, or micheal jackson moonwalkin in slippers??????????

2006-10-09 02:18:30 · 14 answers · asked by Bruza 17/uk 3

The man who loves to eat spam
just before he goes to the can
bim bam thank you maam
wish i had some delicious ham

lol lol

2006-10-09 02:18:05 · 21 answers · asked by HOTBITCH 1

spanked or lied to?

2006-10-09 02:12:12 · 9 answers · asked by markhatter 6

a pasty or a gluegun?

2006-10-09 02:11:39 · 6 answers · asked by markhatter 6

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.

After the first day they met up in the bar.

Ah, Pierre," asks one, " 'ow 'av you been doing?"



Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad a MOS' terrible day. Terrible!



At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E

Dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."



And Zen what 'appened?" inquires his mate.


I weel tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis silly leetle

Platform five feet off ze ground and Zen 'e said "Jurmp!"."


'And did you jump?" asks his mate.


I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jump

Five feet. It is beneass my dignity."

And Zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.



Zen 'e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze

Ground, and 'e said "Jump!"."


And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.


I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. It is beneass

My dignity to jump ten feet."



What 'appened Zen?" asks his mate.



Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a 'undred feet above ze
Parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous willy, and
'e
Said: "If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp your

Burm."."



Ooooh!" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"



A leetle, at ze beginning. "

2006-10-09 02:10:17 · 9 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

A markhatter or a hedgy

2006-10-09 02:09:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

An elderly man gets on a packed train and sees there is a teenage boy who is sitting right next to where he is standing. So he asks the boy "Hey can you stand up, you're young and strong and my knees are weak from age"

The boy says "Why should I stand up"

"Because I am your elder and deserve some respect and also have really sore knees"

"Did you stand up for your elders when you were a kid?"

"Yes of Course I did!"

"Well now you know why you have sore knees!"

Just want to know if you liked it and/or if you have anything similar or just generally funny to say.

2006-10-09 02:03:35 · 22 answers · asked by master_betty_101 2