Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST (i love this part... its absolutely amazing!)
Count every " F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)




HOW MANY ?









WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind is further down.








The brain cannot process "OF".







Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

2006-10-09 08:31:11 · 23 answers · asked by zaazzy 4

2006-10-09 08:24:34 · 7 answers · asked by Tickler 5

2006-10-09 08:17:31 · 16 answers · asked by charley7515 2

Well....................... do ya? cuz I sure as hell don't

2006-10-09 08:07:51 · 15 answers · asked by icyhott4urmind 1

"Mam has God ever been in jail".The mother repies "No son why do you ask".Well the teacher said God works in STRANGEWAYS"
Funny Yes or No.
By the way STRANGEWAYS is a Prison in England.

2006-10-09 08:07:11 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A rabbit and a squirrel enter a bar, and since they can't talk... they had to call in a Rabbi and a Priest! BABOOM! Funny right? uh, ummm, yeah, never mind.

2006-10-09 08:05:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-09 07:50:41 · 15 answers · asked by Katiedd 1

This is not a joke, lol. This is not a riddle. Although it very well could be both. I will let you decide.

2006-10-09 07:45:51 · 23 answers · asked by icyhott4urmind 1

This is really not a joke, lol. It ain't a riddle either. Although it very well could be both.

2006-10-09 07:38:08 · 15 answers · asked by icyhott4urmind 1

1.why r u in a movie but on tv.
2.y does circle pizza come in a square box?
3.y does a dog get mad when u blow in their face but when the are in a car they stick their head out the window?
4.how important do u have to be to be assainated instead of murdered.
5.y do u point at your wrist when u want to know the time but u dont point to your crotch when u want to know where the bathroom is.
6.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
7.If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
8.If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9.Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
10.isn't it scary that docters call what they do practice?

the person that leaves the best one gets the choose as best answer button.

2006-10-09 07:30:09 · 8 answers · asked by nafarius333 2

i have a riddle here and was wondering if anyone can get it? here it goes:
"Suppose that someone put down a copper coin, a silver coin, and a gold coin and asked you to make a statement, with the understanding that if your statement is true, then you will be given one of the 3 coins, not saying which one, but if your staement is false, then you will be given no coin. what statement could you make that would guarentee that you would get the gold coin?"

and yes there is an answer

2006-10-09 06:47:16 · 9 answers · asked by crl_hein 5

Licking 500 payphones.
Licking a toilet rim at a gas station.





Eaten by your family member.
You eating the family member.





Ironing your shirt while still in it
Having a bird fall out of the sky and hit you on the head





Having your boyfriend tell you that he cheats on you.
Having yourself figured that he cheats on you





Being dirty and having clean clothes
Being clean and having dirty clothes





Discovering we are alone in the universe
Discovering we are not alone





Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's acting
Keanu Reeves' acting





Farting in a public bathroom that amplfiles the sound.
Farting in a public bathroom that amplflies the smell.





Having the guy you like making a really funny joke and you peeing all over the place because it was so funny
Sitting next to your crush and farting in complete silence





Pouring a big bowl of cereal and realizing there is no milk.
Pouring a big bowl of cereal and milk and later finding out the milk is sour

2006-10-09 06:42:33 · 17 answers · asked by JonnaMamma 2

2006-10-09 06:37:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-09 06:12:14 · 15 answers · asked by chocolate-drop 5

but leave it in a cup on my doorstep...what can happen to it? I dont drink it mind you!

What can happen to the cup of tea, if I leave it on the doorstep??

2006-10-09 06:11:50 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions

2006-10-09 05:42:53 · 25 answers · asked by biggsy 1

Th
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornitholo

2006-10-09 05:38:39 · 12 answers · asked by biggsy 1

2006-10-09 05:36:32 · 22 answers · asked by chelsea 2

What two things can you never eat for breakfast?

2006-10-09 04:57:12 · 17 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5

While on my way to St. Ives
I saw a man with 7 wives
Each wife had 7 sacks
Each sack had 7 cats
Each cat had 7 kittens
Kitten, cats, sacks, wives
How many were going to St. Ives?

2006-10-09 04:51:27 · 17 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5

Funniest answer gets the points. Explain why.

2006-10-09 04:48:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

What can't be burned by fire, nor drowned by water?

2006-10-09 04:44:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

DONUT SEEDS

2006-10-09 04:40:04 · 16 answers · asked by marvmarkie 2

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2006-10-09 04:38:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

carefree and poor or uptight and rich?

2006-10-09 04:32:58 · 48 answers · asked by markhatter 6

snogged by someone you hate or punched by someone you love?

2006-10-09 04:31:49 · 17 answers · asked by markhatter 6

a plastic dung beetle or a wooden toast rack?

2006-10-09 04:31:11 · 10 answers · asked by markhatter 6

2006-10-09 04:23:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Anyone know the words to one/either of them?

2006-10-09 04:22:55 · 4 answers · asked by Ema Nova 4

because there is a funny noise coming from under the bonnet.
"Leave it with me," says the mechanic. "Come back in 20 minutes."
So, off goes the penguin. It's a pretty hot day, and he's a cool weather kind of guy so on spotting an ice cream van he goes and buys himself a 99. Now, penguins aren't very good at eating ice creams – the lack of opposable thumbs makes it tricky. So by the time the penguin has finished his 99, he is completely covered in ice cream. It is all over his beak and all over his flippers. Feeling a little sticky, he goes back to the garage.
"Oh, hello," says the mechanic, wiping his hands on a cloth.
"Hello," replies the penguin. "Was it anything serious?"
"Not really, but it looks like you've blown a seal."
"Oh no, no, no!" says the penguin, wiping his mouth. "It's just ice cream."

2006-10-09 04:11:17 · 22 answers · asked by Yokay Booboo 3