Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

Paris
in the
the spring

2006-10-08 06:55:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A dim witted girl walks into a bathroom with a tampon and a pencil...
walks out with a tampon behind her ear and asks "wheres my pencil?"


I think thats funny

2006-10-08 06:46:49 · 28 answers · asked by emilyONION 4

1." Everyone Loves Raymond "

2. "Say Hello To My Little Friend"

Hear about the gay whale ? It bit the end off a submarine and sucked all the Seamen out

2006-10-08 06:39:15 · 17 answers · asked by Number 9 1

Lay em' right the first time, you can wallk all over em' the rest of their life.

2006-10-08 06:35:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

And asks for help because her husband is about to leave her. He says her bits down below hang out to far.
The doctor has a look and tells her she must go immediately to the hospital for an operation.
When she wakes up there is a nurse in her room and three red roses next to her bed.
She asks the nurse what they are for and the nurse replies -
the first one is off the doctor because the operation was a complete success.
The second one is off your husband, he can't wait to get you home and give you one.
The third rose is off the man in the burns unit to say 'thank you for his new ears...'

2006-10-08 06:14:40 · 25 answers · asked by Ali 3

Three men and their pet monkey were driving to the county fair to enter their pig in the fattest pig contest. In order to keep the pig fat so it would win the prize, one of the men had inserted a cork in its butt. Meanwhile, men had pantomined previously to the monkey how to remove the cork from the pig after the fair was over.
Well the pig won first prize. All the men were drinking moonshine on the way home when the truck wrecked. The first man said, "Oh, the terrible noise." The second man said, "The awful smell," The third man was laughing and laughing. The second man asked him.
"Why are you laughing? The second man said, " You should have seen the monkey try to put the cork back in."
This is a redneck joke I know!

2006-10-08 05:54:48 · 5 answers · asked by kriend 7

Now, all u gotta do is say something. Make a statement. 2 to 12 words. Funny, serious, hilarious or stupid statement but please no statement about religion or race...
10 points for the best statement...
I got 1 so i'll start...

My statement:

"Superman can't walk..."

Now you go...

2006-10-08 05:54:27 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have you tried keeping a 12lb clit wet...

2006-10-08 05:41:51 · 21 answers · asked by Ali 3

2006-10-08 05:36:47 · 7 answers · asked by brooke3179 2

theres two gay blokes in a flat having sex, one stops and sez i need to go to the shop quickly, what ever you do, DO NOT! finish your self off, so he walks down the shop and back and see's that there is c*m ALL over the walls,the bed, the hole room is coverd!he sez why did you finish your self off!!! he sez i didnt i bent over and farted.

2006-10-08 05:30:14 · 26 answers · asked by Bruza 17/uk 3

1) Louisiana

2) Montpelier

3) Vermont

What are they?

2006-10-08 05:27:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

An old indian word for bad hunter.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2006-10-08 05:00:49 · 14 answers · asked by yourqueenofall 3

1) Cookies

2) Boss

3) Santa Claus

2006-10-08 04:58:30 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were two verry tired construction workers and the first one said to the other "man i need a break". Then the second one said just follow my lead and you will get a break. so the 1st guy climbs up on top of a bar and then the boss comes in and says what are you doing up there. the guy replies im a light bulb. the boss says you need rest go home for the rest of the day. Then the other guy starts to leave and the boss says where are you going and he replies i cant work without light.

2006-10-08 04:48:42 · 23 answers · asked by idnarb_11 2

What fits in dogs?
Own answers expected for fake dog.

2006-10-08 04:46:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is this a record ?

2006-10-08 04:35:55 · 20 answers · asked by hotfeat 2

its not that tough try ure luck.ill give u the answer in the form of a question soon.4 dat be in touch wid my questions

2006-10-08 04:27:10 · 11 answers · asked by FAISAL 5

Old man goes to the doctor and says he's starting to go off sex. The doctor looks surprised and asks the old man his age. The old man says that he'll be 82 next week. The doctor then asks how old is his wife. the old guy tells the doctor that she will be 85 in a month. the doctor tries to humour the old guy, and asks him when did he forst notice this lack of interest in sex. The old guy said "twice last night and first thing this morning"

2006-10-08 04:25:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side,
but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." *Poof!* God gave him big arms and
strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength ..and the tools to cross this river." *Poof!*
God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of
times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength
and the tools...And the intelligence... To cross this river." And *Poof!* God turned him into a woman. She looked at the
map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

2006-10-08 04:20:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

????????????

2006-10-08 04:14:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

it was taking the piss out of the knickers!

2006-10-08 04:13:19 · 21 answers · asked by ginger 6

2006-10-08 04:06:41 · 29 answers · asked by fivelighters 4

2006-10-08 03:33:47 · 5 answers · asked by megh 2

2006-10-08 03:23:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

I like to copy and paste them

2006-10-08 02:59:42 · 11 answers · asked by weekender 1

Mummy Mummy why do I keep walking round in circles? Be quiet or I will nail your other foot to the floor. Sick I know but I need cheering up

2006-10-08 02:33:32 · 16 answers · asked by pebs 4

How many animals of each species did Moses take on his ark?

2006-10-08 02:27:31 · 25 answers · asked by supa_slimz 1

You have to enter a cold and dark room, carrying only a match. There is an oil lamp, a candle and a furnace, just waiting to be lit. Which will you light first?

2006-10-08 02:25:36 · 20 answers · asked by supa_slimz 1

a man walks into a pub with an octopus and says i bet anyone 100 pounds it can play any instroment, so a man gives the octopus a violin and he plays it so he takes it back and gives him 100 pounds, the second man hands the octopus bagpipes, after 10 minutes of fidling the octopus gives up, the man says i told you he cant play every instroment, the octopus says "play it? im trying to get its pjamas off!"

2006-10-08 02:15:59 · 23 answers · asked by susie 2

1 who walks on 4 in morning, 2 in evening and 3 in night
2 name the ' thing' which has finngers but cannot work with them
3 name the thing which can light up by a button
4 my mother has two children and one is not a boy who is other

Jokes
1 where is a dracula's office in U.S.A
ans- vampire state building

2 where do mummies swim
ans- in the dead sea

3 who is a skeleton
ans- someone who went on diet forgot to stop

2006-10-08 01:33:10 · 17 answers · asked by tanam 2