Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-30 07:20:32 · 6 answers · asked by mastervivaldi 1

old lady rushing round the corridors in her wheel chair when an old man jumps out in front of her and asks for her mot she gives him a beer mat he says ok and of she goes again another man jumps out and asks for her insurance she gives him a sweet paper he says ok shes of again round the corner aman is standing with his dick hanging out she says **** not the breath test again

2006-10-30 07:16:05 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

old lady rushing round the corridors in her wheel chair when an old man jumps out in front of her and asks for her mot she gives him a beer mat he says ok and of she goes again another man jumps out and asks for her insurance she gives him a sweet paper he says ok shes of again round the corner aman is standing with his dick hanging out she says shin not the breath test again

2006-10-30 07:14:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

sorry im really bored

2006-10-30 07:08:49 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

These are my favourite types of jokes and I'm running out of them!!! Can anyone help?

2006-10-30 07:04:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

could I perhaps meet yah between the holidays?

2006-10-30 07:02:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

You have to figure out what its really saying ...example the first one is really
. Salt-Good Morning (season's greetings)
Pepper-Hello

2. Sun
Old Things

3. KJUSTK

4. TanTanTan
Tan
TanTan
TanTanTanTan

5. KK
CC
UU
TT
SS

WORDSWORDSWORDS

6. THAT .

7. HAY
HAY
HAY
HAY

8. little LARGE
little LARGE
little little
little LARGE

9. BEillD

2006-10-30 06:59:14 · 3 answers · asked by elvisdan77 4

A white baby arrives at the gates of heaven and Peter opened them said "aaahh hello baby, you are very young to be up here, go and put those white wings on and you can be a Cherub"
A little while later there was another knock. Peter answered and saw another little white baby. "aaahhh hello baby, you are very young to be up here, go and put those white wings on and you can be an Angel".
A little while later there was another knock. Peter answered and saw a little Black baby. "aaahhh hello baby, you are very young to be up here, go and put those black wings on and you can be a BAT"!

2006-10-30 06:57:31 · 29 answers · asked by puffy 6

2006-10-30 06:55:34 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mothers Against Dyslexia!

2006-10-30 06:42:09 · 12 answers · asked by Coyote 3

2006-10-30 06:41:26 · 6 answers · asked by Luken 5

2006-10-30 06:39:35 · 2 answers · asked by Debbie R 1

Puzzle Pieces

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"

2006-10-30 06:31:45 · 18 answers · asked by Coyote 3

Three rednecks called Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here", says Bubba, "It's Zeb Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Earl, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Jeb yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!"

"What was his name?" asks Bubba.

Jeb lights a match to see what else is written on the grave stone, and exclaims, "Miles, from Georgia."

2006-10-30 06:29:39 · 7 answers · asked by Pd 6

What has multiple eyes, multiple arms, multiple legs, is extremely unintelligent and resides on the web?

2006-10-30 06:25:51 · 18 answers · asked by Coo coo achoo 6

10 points for best one.must put more than one.redneck words exepted too.need advice?email flippinadamoruggiero@yahoo.com.talk to michaela .she will help you out or be your internet bud.

2006-10-30 06:18:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

what does he do?

2006-10-30 06:08:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

On the charts I remain number one,
This position cannot be undone,
If I burn, you may get
Just a little bit wet.
In a zeppelin, I am no fun.

What am I??

2006-10-30 06:05:48 · 10 answers · asked by evil_lyn77 3

1. If you eat the whole thing at once you consume life with abandon. You are fun and exciting, carefree, a hint of recklessnessand toatally irresponsible. 2. i one bite at a time: you lack imagination but that's complety normal 3. slow and methodical nibbles: you follow the rules. Very tidy and oderly. Meticulous in every detail and very annoying to others. 4. Feverous little nibbles: you get your work done quickly. You have so much to do but never enough time to do it.. Take a valium and slow down!
5.Dunked in liquid: you are well liked because you are always upbeat. You make the best of a bad situation and life. 6.Twisted apart, You eat from inside out: You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in taking things apart to find out how they work. You can't always put things back together and wind up destroying all. 7.you eat just the cookie and not the middle: you enjoy pain 8. If you just like to lick, stay away from small furry animals and seek medical attention!

2006-10-30 06:02:36 · 17 answers · asked by helpme1 5

Herez the riddle:

I am something which I don't have which you have in you but is accually not there...
What am I?

Note* the ans will be given soon.. till then try ur luck solving this and pls rate my riddle... Thanks :)

2006-10-30 06:01:51 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

2006-10-30 05:35:41 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

2006-10-30 05:26:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

thnx for the answers... tia l x

2006-10-30 05:22:33 · 17 answers · asked by TMFULP. 3

I am dressing up as a Gollywog in a nazi uniform, and want the most offensive jokes possible, please share?

2006-10-30 05:21:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

do you know him???

2006-10-30 05:17:59 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch!"

So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.

"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast!"

"You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.

"Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have?"

"50 cents."

2006-10-30 05:16:00 · 23 answers · asked by Coyote 3

coz you need to be a complete p r i c k

2006-10-30 05:11:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

thought this was cute

Divorce at 65 MPH
>> A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady
>>forty miles
>> Per hour.
>> The wife is behind the wheel.
>> Her husband, a divorce lawyer, suddenly looks across at her
>>and speaks
>> in a clear voice, "Darling," he says. "I know we've been
>>married for twenty
>> years, but I want a divorce."
>> The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but
>>slowly
>> increases her speed to 45 mph.
>> "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it", he says,
>>"because
>> I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's
>>a far
>> better lover than you are."
>> Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel
>>more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
>> The husband confidently says, "I want the house." The wife
>>knows he has the skill to get the upper hand in a divorce
>>proceeding.
>> Up to 60.
>> "I want the car, too," he continues.
>> 65 mph.
>> "And," he says, "I want the bank accounts, all the credit
>>cards and the boat."
>> The car veers towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
>>the husband nervous, so he asks her: "Is there anything you want?"
>> The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice.
>>"No, I've Got everything I need." she says.
>> "Oh, really?" he says with derision. "So what have you got?"
>> Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife
>>turns to him and smiles.
>> "The airbag."

2006-10-30 05:08:52 · 15 answers · asked by BoTToms UP 5

Also your so poor that...so stupid that......but mainly mama jokes!

2006-10-30 05:07:38 · 28 answers · asked by Coyote 3

2006-10-30 05:01:29 · 22 answers · asked by Coyote 3