Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-23 07:48:43 · 3 answers · asked by Jen 1

Take your age and multiply it by two;
add five; multiply by 50; subtract 365;
add the loose change in your pocket
(under £1); then add 115. The
first two figures in the answer will
be your age, and the last two figures
will be the change in your pocket.

2006-08-23 07:18:35 · 25 answers · asked by Nicolala 2

finally....2 gay men are in their flat all day having sex, one of them says "i`m going to the shop,i`ll only be 5 minutes so don`t be playing with yourself" he comes back and there is sperm all over the walls,on the ceiling,everywhere!!!!! "i told you not to be playing with yourself" the first one shouted. "i`ve not been" said the second one,i just farted"!!!!!!!!!!!!! boom boom! xx

2006-08-23 07:15:41 · 11 answers · asked by nicola 3

who gives me 3 best jokes in the world is going to get 10 points!

2006-08-23 07:05:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today,
I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you here today.
When I feel like that, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel
great. I be at work soon.........You got nice house!"

2006-08-23 06:58:27 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

i know- i know....its just one of those days...anyone else feel like this after answering a few silly questions?

be nice now.... or at least be smart about it...most wittiest wins...

2006-08-23 06:50:27 · 15 answers · asked by wutta-croc 4

it was something like we are open certain times but not others because this might happen or we have to deal with this, but i just cant remember enough of it

2006-08-23 06:45:17 · 13 answers · asked by karen e 1

How many letters ,on average would end upin the right envelopes?

2006-08-23 06:34:17 · 19 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

I am feeling in the mood for jokes or riddles so i am willing to reward the best joke or ridlles with 10 points.

2006-08-23 06:25:38 · 9 answers · asked by Jake 2

a tornado is coming towards this bustop where an old woman who is very sick, about to die, your best friend who saved your life and the girl of your dreams are all sitting you can only make one trip and the car can only fit one more person what do you do?

2006-08-23 06:20:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Four guys went to lunch and each paid $5.00 to the waiter for a total of $5.00 x 4 = $20.00. The owner recognized them as students and gave a $5.00 discount. The waiter took $1.00 for his tip and returned $1.00 to each guy. Now: Each guy paid only $4.00 for the lunch (got $1.00 back) so the total cost for their lunch was $4.00 X 4 = $16.00 + $1.00 the waiter took + the $4.00 returned to the 4 guys making a total of $21.00!! HOW COME since we started with $20.00!! Have fun solving this Math question!

2006-08-23 06:17:56 · 13 answers · asked by Antoine a 3

ok, I've decided to start getting ready for april fools, to fill a bag with all my props and a list of how to use them and take it out and prank everyone, and I only have like 1 prank I've found to suit my purpose

I DO NOT want a site that JUST sells novelties
I DO NOT want a site that JUST lists big professional level pranks
I DO want quick and easy pranks that I can get the supplies with 1 trip to walmart

P.S. the 1 trick I found is where I tape over the laser on an optical mouse

P.S.S. it automatically showed the question about practicaljokeinstitute.com and I am checking it out now as you are reading this

2006-08-23 06:16:24 · 4 answers · asked by toweljedi42 2

tell them to me!!

2006-08-23 06:05:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-23 06:05:50 · 28 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

after weeks of pestering them his mum and dad agree.. one day he comes up to his dad and asks "dad,what does love juice mean"? his dad gets really mbarresed and sits him down and explains. the wee boy looks confused then asks his dad "but what`s that got to do with the tennis"????

2006-08-23 06:05:23 · 15 answers · asked by nicola 3

2006-08-23 05:53:35 · 18 answers · asked by Amber 1

The wonders of nature:-

Isn't it a good thing that snot doesn't smell of anything (fetish people excluded). Coz if we got accostomed to it, it may have led us to look for parteners with colds and flu. then we'd all die.

Please give me your thoughts on the wonders of nature. No matter how bizarre.

2006-08-23 05:43:55 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Roses are red violets are blue, say something funny 10 points for u, and if you don’t get ten at least collect your 2 :-)

2006-08-23 05:33:03 · 13 answers · asked by playful 3

coz you get singing and dancing on the rangers side!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-23 05:23:11 · 6 answers · asked by nicola 3

bum tit,tit bum tit,tit, play the hairy banjo!! or milk,milk lemonade,round the corner,chocolate`s made!!!! (pointing to boobs,bum and thingy when you were singing them???) not a joke but me and my pal were talking about it the other night and were pis*ing ourselves remembering the things we thought were dead rude when we were young> another one was 1-2-3-4-5 a lady took a dive,a pakistani nipped her fan*y 1-2-3-4-5!!!!!!

2006-08-23 05:00:21 · 20 answers · asked by nicola 3

I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?

2006-08-23 04:35:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

he was pis*sed off with her and got her to stop. he told her to get out of her car and he drew a circle with chalk on the road and told her to stand in it.and not move he then got a baseball bat and smashed all her car windows,he looked at her and she was still in the circle laughing so he opened the door and slashed her leather car seats,he looked at her again and she was still laughing so he snapped off her windscreen wipers. the woman was still laughing. "whats so bloody funny" he asks she replies "everytime you`ve turn your back, i`ve stepped out the circle"!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-23 04:32:52 · 29 answers · asked by nicola 3

Assume you are driving a bus.There were 85 people at the first station,at the second 65 joined the bus & 20 left, at the third 90 joined 144 left, at the forth 112 joined nobody le,at tnext station 25 joined 125 left.SO at the last station who is the driver???

2006-08-23 04:31:20 · 18 answers · asked by John 2

you always get at least one killjoy saying "I've heard that one before" or "God! that's an old one" O.K. big deal, you've heard it before and I'm deliriously happy for you, but not everybody else has heard it. duuuuh!

2006-08-23 04:27:10 · 26 answers · asked by button mushroom 3

2006-08-23 04:20:28 · 24 answers · asked by pedlamaniacs 2

I once heard the first line of a joke on tv but missed the rest.

There are some funny people on here, so if you think your up to the challenge take a shot.

There were 2 blind prostitutes walking down a road.........

2006-08-23 04:18:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Does anyone know where i can find that ghost video that is a prank. The one where you look at the screen for a whild and then all of a sudden a ghost appears and screams?

2006-08-23 04:12:42 · 7 answers · asked by Parker 2

one makes your man`s day and the other makes his week!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-23 04:11:52 · 27 answers · asked by nicola 3

2006-08-23 04:07:08 · 11 answers · asked by !!Dj Devil Vibez!! 2

A man was rubbing vaseline all over his car. A man passes by an asks him, "Hey why are you putting vaseline all over your car"? The guy says "I'm trying to sell it and when I tell them how much I want for it, they're going to tell me to shove it up my A**.

2006-08-23 04:05:49 · 24 answers · asked by lady love 2