Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-23 10:26:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

LOL!!!!!!!

2006-08-23 10:21:37 · 6 answers · asked by nonya 3

What's the answer to this joke ?

2006-08-23 10:21:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

why dont chicken lay eggs?....................................................................because if they drop them they'll brake!

why did the chicken cross the basket ball court?
.......................he heard that the coach was blowing fowls.

tell me your joke?

2006-08-23 10:19:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-23 10:17:36 · 4 answers · asked by Pete Allison 6

lipstick !!

2006-08-23 10:15:09 · 12 answers · asked by dukedog 2

not the movie relating.
what is your special talent that you can do.
i know everyone has at least 5 senses but i know their is one more it is a talent of yours that is special. can you name at least 2-4 of yours



i don't know what this question goes under for the catergory

2006-08-23 10:13:15 · 11 answers · asked by Noelle Mariee. 1

Link to the clip: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/74013/look_what_you_have_done/

2006-08-23 10:10:10 · 2 answers · asked by zhish_blaster 2

I need them for my teacher, hes a huge OSU fan and Im a michigan fan, and in REALLY NEED some comebacks ! its only the 2nd day of school and ive already had to listen to the OSU fightsong 6 times, and probaly all of the michigan jokes.!,....

2006-08-23 10:08:09 · 5 answers · asked by indianschick24 3

Warning: this product warps space and time in its vicinity
Warning: this product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufactures, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them
Caution: the mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tonnes of TNT per set ounce of weight
Handle with extreme care: this product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour
Consumer notice: because of the 'uncertainty principle', it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving
Advisory: there is an extremely small but non zero chance that, through a process known as 'tunneling', this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor’s domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result
Read this before opening package: according to certain suggested versions of the grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years
This is a 100% matter product: in the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result
Public notice as required by law: any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe
Note: the most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a ‘gluing’ force about which little is currently known, and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed

2006-08-23 10:05:25 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-23 10:03:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

and what colors mean

2006-08-23 10:03:09 · 3 answers · asked by charles l 1

A bear walks into a bar in Beaumont, Montana and demands a beer. The bartender says,"I'M SORRY, BUT WE DON'T SELL BEERS TO BEARS IN BEAUMONT, MONTANA". The bear gets mad and yells, "I want a beer!" The bartender says again, "I'M SORRY, BUT WE DON'T SELL BEERS TO BEARS IN BEAUMONT, MONTANA". The bear is furious now and says, "If you don't sell me a beer now, I'm going to go and eat that girl that is sitting at the end of the bar!" The bartender repeats his answer. The bear gets up and goes and eats the girl at the end of the bar, walks back to the bartender and says,"Now, sell me a beer!" The bartender says,"I'M SORRY. WE DON'T SELL BEERS TO DRUG ADDICTS EITHER!" The bear looks confused and says,"WHAT?? A DRUG ADDICT?" The bartender says, "YES! WHAT ABOUT THAT BAR-B**CH-YOU-ATE!!!"

2006-08-23 09:53:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three men go to a cheap motel, and the desk clerk charges them a sum of $30.00 for the night. The three of them split the cost ten dollars each. Later the manager comes over and tells the desk clerk that he overcharged the men, since the actual cost should have been $25.00. The manager gives the bellboy $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men. The bellboy, however, decides to cheat the men and pockets $2.00, giving each of the men only one dollar.

Now each man has paid $9.00 to stay for the night, and 3 x $9.00 = $27.00. The bellboy has pocketed $2.00. But $27.00 + $2.00 = $29.00. Where is the missing $1.00? WTF?

2006-08-23 09:40:30 · 24 answers · asked by ♥Pink Princess♥ 3

2006-08-23 09:28:59 · 9 answers · asked by Kristin G 1

will get 10 points.

2006-08-23 09:13:02 · 12 answers · asked by Joe 4

called a myth?

2006-08-23 09:08:22 · 13 answers · asked by Croeso 6

I need some good jokes. Please no you mama jokes. Feel free to list as many as you like.

2006-08-23 09:04:35 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5

omg click this and read the lyrics to the song wait for the picture to come up?wat was your reaction?http://funnyjunk.com/pages/watch.htm

2006-08-23 09:03:48 · 6 answers · asked by Im sorry if i hurt you♥ 2

Get frostbite

2006-08-23 09:03:11 · 13 answers · asked by Croeso 6

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave ddddildosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave aaa pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do".
"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee howwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"

2006-08-23 09:02:12 · 9 answers · asked by VetteLeo 6

If you decide to watch it tell me what you think

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/74013/look_what_you_have_done/

2006-08-23 08:57:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-23 08:55:36 · 24 answers · asked by tater 2

AND TALKIN TO ME DOESNT COUNT :p LOL I DONT CARE WUT U PUT, I BET IT'LL BE FUNNY THO! :p

2006-08-23 08:54:58 · 14 answers · asked by Proud2bgoth 2

does it work?http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/347/Jiggly+Fat+Lady

2006-08-23 08:49:12 · 9 answers · asked by Im sorry if i hurt you♥ 2

recieved dollar bill www.wheresgeorge.com stamped on it, tracked it, took picture of pizza boy holding it, He got it as a tip, photo on its way

2006-08-23 08:43:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

That a fish with no eyes is called a FSH?

2006-08-23 08:35:45 · 30 answers · asked by Croeso 6

2006-08-23 08:33:39 · 27 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

hey all sorry i missed a couple of weeks off because i was on vacation and now i am ready to make up for what i missed

2006-08-23 08:32:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they
sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and
tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months
later, a neighbor approaches the man as he tends the garden.

Neighbor asks, "Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory
course you liked so much?"

Ed replies, "Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute... What's the name
of that flower, you know, the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the
stems...?

Neighbor says, "You mean a rose?"

Ed replies, "Yeah, that's it!...(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was
that memory course instructor's name?

2006-08-23 07:57:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous